Anchorcuke:
His Hair Was Perfect.
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When
The Anchorman was Man-Anchor.
by
Jon Dunmore © 22 Feb 2006.
Will
Ferrell makes me laugh. I'm not afraid to say it anymore.
His shamelessness knows no bounds and I, for one, salute his
strangely misshapen nude torso.
In ANCHORMAN: THE LEGEND OF RON BURGUNDY, Ferrell is
the blowhard, brain-soft title character, in love with his
own self-proclaimed legend. And why not? His veteran standing
and perfect hair have made him San Diego's number one anchorman
and a veritable god amongst newsfolk.
Into
this perfect 70s world of Men (Men who "discovered
the wheel and built the Eiffel Tower out of metal and brawn"),
bringing her "exquisite breasts!" - comes Veronica
Corningstone (severely luscious Christina Applegate), aspiring
anchorwoman.
Of
course, this is open invitation to Burgundy's all-male news
team to conspicuously seduce this "woman with a small
brain; with a brain a third the size of us. It's science."
Simply
by being The 70s Male, Ron's team gives us Truth In Jest:
There's Field Reporter, Brian Fantana (Paul Rudd), muttonchop
sideburns and a cock of the head to match his jaunty, bellbottomed
step; Sports Desk, Champ Kind (David Koechner), cowboy-hatted,
beer-swilling Man's Man, with an affinity for Ron Burgundy's
"musk"; and ambiguously-retarded Weatherman, Brick
Tamland (Steve Carrell, whose way-off-script performances
here and in BRUCE ALMIGHTY and THE 40 YEAR OLD VIRGIN indeed prove his mettle as a comic, yet which
doesn't excuse him from accepting the job in the remake
"for American audiences" of Ricky Gervais' comedic
masterpiece, THE OFFICE. That ain't right.)
And
there's Ron Burgundy himself - Anchorman ("I'm very
important. I have many leather-bound books and my apartment
smells of rich mahogany"), Jazz Flautist ("Hey,
Aqualung!"), Legend ("Last time I looked in the
dictionary, my name's Ron Burgundy!"). From doing shirtless
barbell curls in his office ("sculpting
my guns") to impress Veronica, to wailing, "I'm in a glass cage of
emotion!" (while in a phone booth), Ferrell (who co-wrote the movie with director, Adam
McKay) takes Burgundy on a mad joyride and abandons him
somewhere between 70s chic and imbecile.
Ron's
team must endure the infiltration of female Veronica into
their complacent All-Male world, as she steals away the
heart and job of their beloved leader. Along the way, every
aspect of 70s normalcy is tweaked to hyperbole, from
the news team suddenly bursting into an a cappella
rendition of The Starland Vocal Band's Afternoon Delight,
to Ron's appraisal of the "new fad called jogging,
or 'yogging' - I think the 'j' may be silent," to hosing
off Brian Fantana's almost-lethal man-fragrance, Sex Panther.
The
comedy hits on all levels, from the subtle (the television
spots, with the News Team all looking up at the camera on
cue) to the broad (Burgundy's and Veronica's love-making
fantasy), to the insensate (the street battle of the Network
News Teams, involving tridents, amputations and Roman gladiator
man-nets). The usual suspects all cameo: Vince Vaughn (as
competing Network Anchor, Wes Mantooth - after bequeathing
this character name, where else can you turn?), Tim Robbins
with a blond-fro (ditto with this 'do), Ben Stiller as a
seedy Spanish News Anchor, Luke Wilson (whose amputations
in battle cause him much annoyance), and Jack Black as a
hard-ridin', hard-vengeance biker ("Did you just throw
a burrito at me, Brosef?!").
The
dependably hilarious Fred Willard is Station Director (constantly
apologizing on the phone for his son's felonies at school),
who fires Ron after he is fooled into swearing on air - a practical joke by Veronica that goes awry.
So
begins Ron's spiral into oblivion, wandering the streets
in a hermit-beard, drunk on milk, whilst Veronica's star
rises as the world's first female anchor. Ron must mine
untapped reserves of Man-Reportage to rise to the occasion
and come to terms with Veronica's equality. In a bear den
at the San Diego Zoo, all is resolved.
With
its dialog generally more "cerebral" than most
SNL alumni offerings - as ridiculous as that may sound -
and a cast willing to take themselves beyond the fringe
for the cause, ANCHORMAN ranks alongside A NIGHT AT THE ROXBURY or WAYNE'S WORLD as a stupid,
stupid idea that somehow went horribly, horribly right.
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