Mel gets medieval on our asses...
by
Jon Dunmore ©
"When the Legend becomes fact, print the Legend."
- from The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance.
War is Mel.
These guys - they live and breathe and eat war. That's all they do. No matter how many times they maintain they're fighting for a land of their own, to raise families, to be at peace, whew! it's exhausting. It seems they're fighting to continue fighting.
massive arms making up for his absolutely abominable Scottish accent by way of Thunderdome.
an incredibly brave performance, considering Mel can't do a Scottish accent.
everyone smeared in poo.
Braveheart is ALL legend, extra cheese, muscle and man-dresses.
Prima nocte - the rights of the nobles to have the first night with a new bride. This doesn't sit well with Mel, as his chick is the hottest in the village (i.e she's got the least poo smeared on her)
Mel’s Masterwork.
Everyone covered in layers of kilt and poo.
Gibson retreading his Beyond Thunderdome ‘do.
Mel Gibson's masterwork, thundering hooves and freight train warriors. Not so much worried about recreating history as recreating the way the light slopes off his taut biceps.
Battling with the british who were trying to bequeath SOAP to the scottish
Bryan cox looking like Billy Connolly
Patrick McGoohan deliciously eeevil “The trouble with Scotland … is that it’s full of Scots.”
The horses cantering towards the Scottish informal battle formations – you can almost smell the wet grass under their feet, pounding the soil, thundering towards a massacre.
The “hold!” scene – reminds of the iron maiden song The Trooper. “the smell of acrid smoke and horses breath, as we plunge on into certain death”
one of the last great epic battle films - using people instead of blips.
the medieval concept of prima nocte, or "first night," nobles were allowed a first chance to sleep with the wives of their lessers.
He might as well as have been shouting “democracy” – another concept as alien to the peoples of that day as democracy itself is to George W. Bush.
at the end - hanging, racking, disembowleing, beheading, dismembering, --- brought to you by the royalty and the christiains.
OTHER REVIEWS:
the legendary Scots warrior who led his nation into battle against the English in the years around 1300.
e rack, was "freedom!" That isn't exactly based on fact (the concept of personal freedom was a concept not much celebrated in 1300), but it doesn't stop Gibson from making it his dying cry.
END
|
