|
|
CHEAPER
BY THE DOZEN (2003)
Director: Shaun Levy.
Writers: Frank B. Gilbreth Jr., Ernestine Gilbreth Carey,
Craig
Titley, Sam Harper, Joel Cohen, Alec Sokolow.
Starring: Steve Martin, Bonnie Hunt, Tom Welling, Hilary Duff,
Ashton Kutcher.
|
Children
Of The Damned.
©
Jon Dunmore, 7 Nov 2005.
When
Ashton Kutcher is the funniest thing in your movie, it's time
to re-assess everything you hold dear.
 CHEAPER BY THE DOZEN is an
unworthy, implausible remake of a 1950 film of the same name, with parents Steve Martin
and Bonnie Hunt unconvincingly helming a hornet's nest of selfish,
ill-mannered, impertinent teen and sub-teen models in an
ostensible "family comedy" which illustrates quite
conclusively why some animals eat their young.
Focus
groups are quick to finger "obvious" causes for
juvenile derailment (video games, violent cartoons, Ozzy
Osbourne), yet subversive media of this ilk - insidiously
promoting the now-staple Hollywood formula of incompetent-dad-tenaciously-grounded-mom,
sending messages of ignorance triumphing over experience,
emotions triumphing over pragmatism, and spoiled rotten kids triumphing over their parents - is the real black-milk
teat behind every school shooting and heavy metal suicide.
The
MPAA trip over their bibles to quash one-second visuals
of female nipples, then permit ninety minutes of mental
and physical terrorizing of a father by his children (through
communal pouting and "precious" antics), forcing
him to relinquish the dream job he needed in order to keep
these selfsame devil-children wallowing in the opulence
they have been spoiled into believing is their inalienable
right - all for the petty sake of lost frogs and puppy love
and hovel living.
When
a child goes bad, truly, it is the parents' fault - for
allowing movies like these to logjam our cinemas under the
guise of "inoffensive, family-oriented entertainment"!
END |
|
|
CHEAPER
BY THE DOZEN (2003)
Director: Shaun Levy.
Writers: Frank B. Gilbreth Jr., Ernestine Gilbreth Carey, Craig
Titley, Sam Harper, Joel Cohen, Alec Sokolow.
Starring: Steve Martin, Bonnie Hunt, Tom Welling, Hilary Duff,
Ashton Kutcher.
|
|
