Rough notes...
by Jon Dunmore ©


at least the quiditch match had some good flying sequences



Starts in London in his home - we meet Dobby (Toby Jones), a self-flagellating sado-masochist house elf, the bastard son of Gollum and -- who speaks in the third person. for some reason his parents who hate him DON'T want him out of the house and back at magic school - one would think that if they detested the sight of him that much , that's the first place they'd send him. So Dobby dumps cake on woman, precipitating Harry being locked in his room, instead of kicking him out to fend for himself. I'm missing a boat here. but I thoguht he DIDNT' want the kind of problems that harry's presence creates. And how can mere bars on the window stop a magical person from going where he wants to go.

So they pick him up in a flying car. A thousand questios hit me: is the CAR flying? Is it their WILL that is making the car fly? Why bother steering?

when you say somehting is "magical" it means that it resembles magic (which is irrational, illogical and follows no laws of physics). It's almost an insult. yo don't really mean the thing is "magic" - it only RESEMBLES something irrational, illogical and following no laws. Most of the time, the term "magical" is thrown around to describe wondrous events or feelings or thrilling movies that take us on amazing journeys. But you can't call HARRY POTTER "magical" because it's not LIKE magic - it IS magic. It is irrational, illogical and follows no laws, the world ofHarry Potter is unpredictable in the worst of ways. Any scientist will tell you that if the real world was as devoid of physics laws as this series of movies, everyhing on Earth would be dead or in a state of chronic chaos.

Harry goesa and hangs with the ginger weasleys.
gets comsumed in green flames to transport to Diegone Alley.
Where he meets Hermione - at last, Potter becomes watchable again.
What? No, I'm not looking there. glorious. and she oculis repairos his glasses again - you'd think he' learn that spell himself, being a glasses-wearer.

Gilroy Lockhart, Branagh , fantastically cheesy performance as a teacher more invovled with his own legend than teaching -- defense agasint the ddark arts teach- vain - 5x winner withc weekly most charming smile award - blue pixieiss like gremlins - immobulus - antoher stupid charm - branagh is the one shining light in this movie -

. we meet lucius malfoy, father of malfoy, as glamorously fey with that long white hari -

thru the 9 3/4 platform again - seen it - but of course, the non-reason of magic works both ways - if a platform can OPEN for no reasonm then it can also CLOE for no reason - so they have to take the magic car to Hgowarts.

high adventure as they follow the train, screaming as they almost crash - why? just drive the magic car - orr letit avoid the train itself - are you sterering it? Why? if it's magic and if it's flying, where are the tthursters thsat actually make it turn, etc. noneof the controls work - gas? magic gas? Tree starts bashing on the car - just to see Ron Weasley's terrified face to make it conveneinet - emtpiees itself ansdrives offf itself.

Wealsey really gets his worried face working overtime


the chaer of secretes has been openeid - written in blood.

chanign animals into water goblets - is ther any point tto this? - and not the quidditch again - that's all we need - boredom thy name is -- so one of the balls goes chasing after harry, it's obviously been enchangted - but does the game stop? No. It's got he trules of World Championship Wrestling. doesny anyone know hoew to fic his arm - a while bunch of wozardsand they let the moron wiazrf branagh fo it.

the myrtle chick ghost -

how does Potter learn how to speak Snape? Is snape against orr with Potter? He's putting Malfoy up against him. Slytherin was a psrcelmouth - he an tlk to snakes too? All thes epterified people turning up - people accus epotter - drink potion that makes them look like Malfos' two henchmen.

hermione turns into t acat - oh yess she says, "llok at your face, ron says,"ook at your tail" ohh yesss.... Are you kidding me? You're already thinking aboutit arent you roni.

he findds a book that writes vack to him - sucks him into 50 years ago - to show him the chamber of secrets. Hermione gets petrified - hot - thet things you can do now. /
unless person is acaugh the school might be closed, I have no investment in any of these poeple's lives - they accuse Hagrid of somethign to send him to dumbledore - Weaslye takes his mourning face to new levels of trpidation.


they follow spiders fro hagrids' house underground - lord of the rings - had gollum - suddnely dobbby - lotr had spide - now they've got spiders. tell them o some other creatureds - tries to eat them - car save them surorunded by 1000s

corec tif im wrong - ca't the car fly - whhy ar they just driving escaping from the spiders. Beause the flying gesars jammed. Oh really! It's MAGIC you idiots. a Physical gear is not going to make it fly unless youve ot thrusters which you dont

basilisk leves in chanber od secrets - her sekletonwill lie in the chamber forever. good mystery - people seeing its refelction nice big snake -bt it takes so long to get to the pont - no tension until tat moment whn its explained - if branagh is so flawed why do they take him to help them? why not take snape - branagh tries to wipe their memeories uses rons and - harry speas snake to get thru the locks - meets tome riddle

convoluted and badly-written - memory of --- triyngt o kill her - unneces

to, riddle gives the james bondexposition at end - why not just kill everyone - no he's got to explain it first - adumbledores phoenix flies into the changer and gives harry a hat. phoenix comes and blinds vbasilisk - nice storytelling - voldermort "you maky have blinded but he canstil hear you" runs passahges and eventualyl escapes - inside hat apepasrs a sword. magic - gotta live it. how it has no purpose m no reason or rhyme - sword coldn't appear whne he firstgot hat - had t oha ppen later - if dumbls phoeix coul dfly down there and diliver het - why coudln' dumbledor get down there - why not an army of wizards to help hary - he oiosuly knew he was doen ther red and needed help. noher deus ex -
plotting is unbleievable -
thisideiot is mouthing odff that his spirit sis in the book - isn't tit bovious what to do - destroy the book/ this tom riddle cannot stop talking and explaining hoew to actualyl destroy him.

more magic - venom of bassili - phoenix drips tears on his wound and it heals like wolverine. magic love it. Anything goes. becasue he showed loyatly to dumbledo eis why fawkes phoesnix came down tih hat - that elf is more powerful than malfoy - why is he being sibjugated by him?

hafggirf back from azkaban - I wonder whose bitch he was in Azkaban - edveryon estands up and cheers for hagrid - ay - because he's the real gero of these movies. Why?

mandrake roots screaming.

chanigng animals into goblets - I guess the techs found a program called Absolute Waste Of Time - just like Mephisto in SOURTH PARK creating animals with four asses, just like John Hammond in JURASSIC PARK - just because you CAN do something doesn't mean you SHOULD.