Rough notes...
by Jon Dunmore ©


You know that one obstinate guy in the world who hasn't read any of the Harry Potter books? I'm that guy.

Confession over, pagans. Let's see what this Harry Potter movie schtick is all about...

In HARRY POTTER AND THE SORCERER'S STONE, we meet young British boy-wizard Harry Potter (Daniel Radcliffe), and see his introduction to the larger wizarding world via the school of magic called Hogwarts. Through his wanded studies and making of friends, he is dogged by an event in his past that brought him simultaneous fame and mortal danger - he was the only person ever spared from death by a killer wizard named Lord Voldemort, who cursed him with a scar on his forehead that looks like a backwards 'S' on the KISS logo.



is fresh and honest and made with It's one of the freshest things to blast

But thogh the film is brilliantly made and well-performed, the story itslef (by J.K. Rowling, transferred to the screen by Stephenm Knolwes) is like a farm where plot holes are bred.

An old wizard appears in a London street and uses an unnecessarily contrived method of putting out the street lamps. You're losing me already. It's the late, great Richard Harris as Dumbledore (okay, I'll let the stupid name slide).


Old woman is cat- dont know why she had to cacocmpany him - to help him carry the baby? Hagrid (coltrane) turns up on a flying motorbike. which reaises question Is it the bike that is flying or isit HIS concnetration that makes it fly - if so , why does h e need it. If he can concentrate flight, then he can carry the baby with him and fly himself. And if the BIKE is flyin, well, why is it shaped like a motorbike, whynot a comfy chair or divan? A motorbike is specifically shaped like a mortorobike to drive down the street, but if it can fly, well, what makes it fly? Some kind of midicholorian power? Do you pump that flight juiceinto the tank? or is it a mor metaphysical process? And if it's just "magic" well, what' the point in going on?

Delivers unto Dumbel the baby HarryPotter with a prominent scar on his forehead that loks like a backwards 'S' in the KISS logo. THey leave him on a doorstep.

we catch up with Harry 11 years later, adopted by these humans (called Muggles) being mistreated, sleeping in a cupboard under the stairs,I haven't read any of the books, but that's exactly how I';d imagien a little british boy named Harry Potter would look! his adopted fat spoiled brother, his impatient - BETTER WORD parents dont even know why they treat him so cruelly - goes to zoo - gindshe can talk to a snake, which escapes when he disappeas the glass.

He was just a cute little boy back then.
Hermoine just a cute little girl and Ron still a trepidatious little Weaselly. It's a little sad looking back at this film and seeing all the same actors so young . Except for the great Richard harris (RIP) every cast member is the same as when they started. Th eold lady said, "This boy will be famous. There won't be a child in our world who doesn't know his name. "

mail from owl - continuous mail whch Richard giffiths keeps quelling - until millions of letters apearss - they run away to lighthouse - hagrid meets him takes him to Hogwarts school - discover powers, he's famous

the only kid left alone by voldemort when he killed his paresnt - buys wand from John Hurt - limitless stores of Money from goblins bank - gets cute white owl.

station 9 3/4 - meets ron and Hermione on f train - sex y sexy secy ltheir personalities established - ariive at hog - malfoy established - the hat xchooses houses for them - god knows why - uncessary hat reminds us of ogga booga from NIGHTMARE BEFORE CHTISTMAS -

meet john clees - meet snapes - rickman - seems to be sinister teacher - the quilliam teacher stuttering

old lady takes him to be seekr cos he can fly on his broom smoothly and catch the snitch in Quiddith -

find 3-headed dog named fluffly - rules for Quiccith outlined - easte of time - taught levitation - hermione is uppity, troll escapes

for no reason

points lost - gets new broom

quidditch -we thouht that we'd never see anything more irrelevant or unncessary snore-inducing waste of timethan that pod race in PHANTOM MENACE. We've asked ourselves, "could there have been anything so boring, so tiresome, so -- Pod Race? I thnk we've found our answer. WUIDDITCH the person who catches snitch ends gaem - worth 150 points - hoops ar worth 10 points. when seekre catches snitch game s over - why not just go after the snitch - why bother with any of the other things? What if you're more than 150 points BEHIND - if you catch the snithc, does the gaem stil end - but then YOU'D be the loser. So you'd only be trying to STOP the ohter person catching it until your team accrues enough points to get ahead. Right?

Rules catching the snitch - severeus tries to bewitch his broom - then it's christmas yay lets celebrate the birth of christ he must have also been a warlock for allt he miracles he did.

ron playing chess with harry, the pieces killing each other literally.

ghosts regularlay wander the hallways dna dininh alls - which means there's life after death - so whyis everyone so worried about dying in this thing? harry gets cloak of invisibility and never once uses it to do somethign snesible like raid hermione's room.

He find magic mirrr where he sees his deepest desires relfected - that is - his parents stnading besdie him. Now Ithink the issue of harry's parents warranst some ranting:
the defining moticvation for harry - he never knew his paerents trying to meet sith them - bring them back to life - recapture moments with them ., It's ver ysad, in this universe wehere there are ghosets everyhweeerr why can't his parents turn up and be done with it - why do they taunt him with their presences and then disappears - thete are peolpe in pictures that are alinve -

ron sees himself wining quidith cup and being captain dream big, boy

hagrid give birth to dragon

he takes them to forest - here's the one truly terriyin chillig part - hee comes upon hooded createure drinking bloodof a dead iunicorn. It is uinterrupted adn glides towards him along the ground. Saved by centuaur. harry scar hurts like parkers' spider sense - when ther'es danger around

hagrid's Hagrid's constant bluritng out unintentionally of inofrma immediately followe dby the lament, I' shouldn't have told you that." The humor in this callback is that he runs the last sentence into the conversation without stopping, accompanied by slight grimace, as if it's aprt of the oringlk conversation, when it is actually la left turn lament. FIND AN EXAMPLE: Just a play little bit of music and h'es out I shouldn't have told you that."

2-headed dog guards sorcerer's stone, voldemor trinyg to steal it for whatever reason - you can do anything to anyone anywher eat any time anyway so why bother with an extra talisman? Like the One Ring, it's a McGuffin evento the people in the story.

emma watson seesmt o knwo all the sopells -- have to find key - flying around with other keys, unlock door - room ful of chess The giant chess game is cool. they have to be pi3eces ron orchestrates game - wins it but sacrifices himself to win - how noble - harry goes through last door -

finds qiulian pfor - has volde on back of his head - harry somehow gets stone in his pocket told by Dumble it only appears to peopl ewho dont watn tto use it. Anything esles you wanna make up right on the spot .

volde blowws himn up - his hand open on stone - then vold rund off - dumdb appears and disappears as necesar y plot - gryifin dore ewins at end of year -

they get on tain go home.

The Extremely Stupid Game of Quidditch, I think it's called. Invented by a woman, of course - who thinks she has some kind of interesting game on her hands. Let me describe the rules to you: there ARE no rules. You think I'm lying? Well, there's apparently a playing field, but you can be anywhere on or off it during the course of the game. There ar three separate balls that you scroe with, but all that you really need to worry about is the Golden Snitch, which is 150 points and ends the game. There is apparently no time limit to the game until the Snitch is caught, which means that if your team is You can chase that Snitch anywhere in the world apparently, on or off the Quidditch field. There's no referee so you can't tell when people are cheating or not, and if they are cheating you can't call them on it- apparenlty cheating is allwoed, as no one reported alan rickman supposedly casting spells on Harry during the game. Anyone can hit anyoen else. anyone can attack anyone else to stop them getting the ball - not just like footbal - actual lethal attacks - sonce there's no referee you cna't tell whether any of the magical people in the audience are affecting any of the players or the outcome of the game - like Snape was suposeldy soindg in the first match - affecting harry off his broom. Do I need to go on?... Next time, lady, leace the invention of a competitive game to the men, thanks...