THE
WORLD'S FASTEST INDIAN (Sep 2005) Director, Writer: Roger Donaldson.
Starring: Anthony Hopkins, Saginaw Grant, Diane Ladd, Walton
Goggins, Christopher Lawford, William Lucking, Aaron Murphy,
Laurel Moglen, Paul Rodriguez, Annie Whittle, Eric Pierpoint,
Chris Williams, Chris Bruno, Carlos Lacamara, Bruce Greenwood,
Jessica Cauffiel.
To Go Faster: that was the single-minded purpose
of Herbert J. "Burt" Munro (1899 - 1978), whose
life story was an "inspirational movie" just waiting
to happen.
The
tagline boasts, "based on one hell of a true story,"
justifiably it would seem, as Munro - a fearless, free-spirited
New Zealand rider who broke land speed records in his 60s
- was one hell of a character.
THE WORLD'S FASTEST INDIAN is the quixotic tale of Munro's
first trek from his provincial home town of Invercargill,
New Zealand, to Utah's Bonneville Salt Flats, to tilt at
the land speed record in what he hopes will become The World's
Fastest Indian - his modified 1920 Indian Scout motorcycle.
Reading like the archetypal Hollywood tearjerker, it is
fortunate that archives of Munro interviews and riding footage
still exists, to corroborate that his tall tale was indeed
a real life template for underdog movies.
As
with any "true" story, director-writer Roger Donaldson
(whose resumé is a laundry list of recognizable films: THE BOUNTY, NO WAY OUT, COCKTAIL, SPECIES, DANTE'S PEAK)
composites events and characters to squeeze Munro's storied
life into 127 minutes of fish out of water hell on wheels.
Lifting many of the anecdotes and dialog from Munro himself
(from a documentary Donaldson directed in 1973, which appears
on the DVD: OFFERINGS TO THE GOD OF SPEED), Donaldson
admits to Munro's legend blurring over the years, "There
were many stories that I'd heard that just could not have
been true and then there were stories that I knew to be
true that were hard to believe."
Anthony
Hopkins, as Munro, gives a startling performance (for his
utter divergence from all things Hannibal or Uptight Butler),
paying supreme tribute to Munro by burying himself in a
role which is part absent-minded professor, part master
mechanic, all nutjob - the type of guy who, when told to
mow his thigh-high lawn, torches it with gasoline, not through
any malice, but with an ingenuousness that would somehow
endear him to all he came in contact with.
The able supporting cast reads like a B-Actor cameo call:
Chris Williams, Bruce Greenwood, Paul Rodriguez, Christopher
Lawford, and notable appearances by Annie Whittle and Diane
Ladd, to further the fact that "dirty old men need
love too."
Accompanied
by the Indian he worked on for decades like a lover, Munro's
quest would see him paying his way across the Pacific as
cook onboard a tramp steamer, using a log as a wheel when
the desert highway claims his makeshift trailer, choking
down a Native American's gift of powdered dog's balls for
his prostate, stealing petrol from the official race supply,
letting his tailpipe char his calf during a record attempt
rather than stopping, battling his own ailing heart, butting
heads with regulation-raunchy officials and - the most horrible
trial of all - spending a night in Hollywood.
Was
Munro such a yokel that, instead of finding a hotel in Long
Beach (where he would pick up his bike from Customs the
next day), he would rather trek all the way north into Hollywood
for the night just to "see film stars"? Apparently
so. With scenes that read like a clunky CROCODILE DUNDEE, Munro winds up at the Flamingo Sunset hotel,
promptly getting ripped off by a fake flower-girl, propositioned
by an old hooker and meeting a transvestite within the space
of two minutes. (When I first moved to Hollywood, it took
me a whole month to get taken by a small-time hustler, propositioned
by a skanky hooker and befriend a she-male.)
Cutting
down on the weight of his bike - and against all regulations
- Munro saw no need even for brakes ("I'm planning
on going, not stopping") or a parachute ("I'm
not planning on bailing out"). From the poverty-stricken,
ascetic life he led, it was no wonder he was eternally ready
to die with his boots on. If Munro had nothing else, he
had balls. And plenty of 'em. Which accounts for his simple
philosophy, "You live more in five minutes on a bike
like this going flat out than some people live in a lifetime."
And also accounts for the trail of bodacious, wrinkled squeeze
he left in his wake.
For
those who believe in planetary alignments and other such
nonsense, the whole solar system must have conspired to
aid Burt Munro in those days leading to the 1962 Bonneville
Speed Week, as fortuitous event after fortuitous event nudges
him towards his goal, everyone's heart melting over Burt's
cause (from competitors to race officials alike), creating
a syrupy Disney contagion that seems non-believable at times,
but which must have some basis in reality, as the shattered
records are testament to this broke, obsessive, neighborhood
nuisance becoming a living legend.
Some
of Munro's land speed records still stand to this day.
It's
a sobering thought that there must be thousands of fanatical
old tinkerers out there who obsess over seemingly ridiculous,
esoteric pastimes, any of which, with the right set of circumstances,
could land them in history books.
Burt
Munro just happened to be the wrong man in the right place
at the fastest time.
THE
WORLD'S FASTEST INDIAN (Sep 2005) Director, Writer: Roger Donaldson.
Starring: Anthony Hopkins, Saginaw Grant, Diane Ladd, Walton
Goggins, Christopher Lawford, William Lucking, Aaron Murphy,
Laurel Moglen, Paul Rodriguez, Annie Whittle, Eric Pierpoint,
Chris Williams, Chris Bruno, Carlos Lacamara, Bruce Greenwood,
Jessica Cauffiel.
