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X2:
X-MEN UNITED (May 2003)
aka: X-MEN 2.
Director:
Bryan Singer.
Writers: Zak Penn, David Hayter, Bryan Singer, Michael
Dougherty, Dan Harris.
Starring:
Patrick Stewart, Hugh Jackman, Ian McKellen, Halle Berry, Famke Janssen, James
Marsden, Anna Paquin, Rebecca Romijn-Stamos, Brian Cox, Alan Cumming, Shawn Ashmore, Bruce Davison.
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Pofferine
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X-traordinary.
by
Jon Dunmore © 4 Dec 2004.
Unfortunate
that X1 and X2 are now associated with these mutant movies, instead of their original
references – Bell's X1 aircraft, piloted by Chuck Yeager, was the first documented
to break the sound barrier in 1947 – never forget that, young-uns! Successive
X-numbers denoted successive prototypes.
Has
there ever been a more perfectly-cast movie than X2: X-MEN UNITED? So many characters
fitting our preconceptions so absolutely – er - except for Cyclops, whose
role is disconcertingly minimal, as it was in X-MEN. Comicbook Cyclops/Scott Summers was always the undisputed Leader of the group, exuding a patriarchal
air amongst the very first x-youngsters to the present. Movie Cyclops (James Marsden)
exudes all the presence of a day-player, or some guy in a bar in Miami in an episode
of GIRLS GONE WILD.
Jean Grey (Famke Janssen) is also abused somewhat. Firstly – that hair – not
working, honey! Gone are comicbook Jean's cascading, volcanic-red, lava-locks
(too 80s for this modern film? - but no worse than the Animé cartoon hairstyle
she now sports); will it have to come down to an episode of VH1's 50 AWESOMELY BADDER HAIRDOS to acknowledge this soccer mom abomination? And before we know
it, Jean is gone. In a dramatic high-point, sexily holding back a wall of water
while simultaneously powering up the X-Jet, she is sacrificed; a device which
had to occur for Jean's overwhelming Phoenix force to achieve illimitable
psionic freedom (Somebody stop me sliding into geekery!...) In essence, in
just two movies her character traverses an arc which took decades of comics to
develop.
Movies unfortunately do not have the luxury of comicbook shelf-life;
plots that were developed over thousands of inter-connected comics must necessarily
be composited into a few films, before the franchise goes to pot with new directors,
unfamiliar and unlikeable cast and widened demographic mundanity. i.e. it always
ends up G-rated, with scenes of soldiers crawling out of exploded military
vehicles to prove that they are still alive.
The
film unflinchingly supplies each major character with an interesting arc; an almost
insurmountable undertaking, considering the plethora of varied roles and interlocking
story lines. Director/co-writer Bryan Singer and writers (Zak Penn, David Hayter, Michael
Dougherty, Dan Harris) have done an incredible job, full tilt
boogie – even the day-player Cyclops gets his moment to kick butt and take
names - but is ultimately taken down by a chick – girly-man style!
Before
I go on, I must clarify: this is an excellent movie, well-filmed, well-written,
well-acted – and hey! Wolverine! (Hugh Jackman) - 'nuff said! But it is not without its
illogicities.
An
example: Rogue (Anna Paquin) is sucked out of the disabled X-Jet and Nightcrawler (Alan Cumming) bamfs out
and retrieves her, bringing her back onboard safely – excellently illustrating
his power's utility - BUT - well, he's back in the out-of-control X-Jet! Why
not bamf to the GROUND instead, Einstein? Matter of fact, why not individually
bamf everyone down to the ground? This is the quandary that writers of
superhero films must face: all these beings put together make up a formidable
force and if they logically reasoned through any predicament, nothing
could ultimately harm them.
When Wolverine barks, "Don't we have any weapons
in this heap?", the full portent of his question hits us when Storm's (Halle Berry) eyes
go white – they're ALL Lethal Weapons. Yet here is another mis-use of power
from that same scene: Couldn't Storm (who has just conjured more twisters than
there were in the movie TWISTER) conjure a mighty updraft to float the
X-Jet safely to earth?; couldn't Jean (who has just utilized her telekinesis to
explode a missile) also float the jet down safely?; couldn't Iceman (more like Ice-BOY here, Shawn Ashmore) create a slide
of ice?; the potential list of 'saves' goes on – yet, it's Airport '75 up
in that converted Blackbird and Our Man Charlton ain't nowhere in sight. Instances
like these really make you wonder whether you ARE on the Right Side, rooting for
these insensate clowns, when the ostensible Bad Guy – Magneto (the grandiloquent Ian McKellen) – is the
only one with any brains, balls or mutant clout to actually save the jet.
Admittedly,
even in the comics, utilization of super-powers are oft-times foregone in favor
of plot development.
The
DVD commentaries infuriate with their naivete: cast and crew misuse and
completely misunderstand the word "evolution," continually saying "evolve"
where they simply should say "develop," illustrating an utter ignorance
of this world-shaping concept. Evolution is a process by which mutated genes,
if they enable an organism to better adapt to its environment, are "selected"
and passed on. Less-adaptable organisms are leached out of the pathway of Life
vis a vis "natural selection." Not being an essay on Evolution
per se, this skeletal description will have to suffice to illustrate the ingenuousness
of terms like "character evolution."
The
DVD also bludgeons viewers with the unsubtle message of tolerance. As if the raison
d'etre of this movie IS to promote tolerance and NOT to make sinful amounts
of exploitative cash. By exploiting a minority existing in fantasy, they audaciously
attach this analogy to world problems, and then pretend they care. The
fact that this movie issues from one of the most insular, in-tolerant places
on earth – Hollywood – makes that "message" all the more hypocritical
and straight-up shameless prevarication.
The
X-Men's tolerance theme has nothing to do with why this film was made - the current
rash of superhero movies is not being voraciously consumed faster than they can
be made because audiences wish to imbue themselves with spiritual elevation; no,
superhero-mania is the latest fad in a long line of film fads – remember
all those war movies after WWII?; all the westerns of the forties through sixties;
the cop films of the seventies; slasher films of the eighties; the genres of "baseball,"
"family," "romantic comedies," et al. Superhero films
now join the carousel of bankable corporate products – because the generation
who grew up enamored with comics is now at an age where they are making
the major business decisions in the world. So please – spare us the faux-philanthropy
and get on with entertaining us for our cash.
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X2:
X-MEN UNITED (May 2003)
Director:
Bryan Singer.
Writers: Zak Penn, David Hayter, Bryan Singer, Michael
Dougherty, Dan Harris.
Starring:
Patrick Stewart, Hugh Jackman, Ian McKellen, Halle Berry, Famke Janssen, James
Marsden, Anna Paquin, Rebecca Romijn-Stamos, Brian Cox, Alan Cumming, Shawn Ashmore, Bruce Davison.
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