NAT – NET

NACHO LIBRE

5 Star

TOP

NACHO LIBRE

Release: Jun 06 – Review: 22 Jul 06
Lotsa Lucha, Lessa Libre.
Like its hero, NACHO LIBRE lacks any kind of punch…

NATIONAL LAMPOON'S CHRISTMAS VACATION

1 Star

TOP

NATIONAL LAMPOON’S CHRISTMAS VACATION

Release: Dec 89 – Review: 19 Jan 17
Tidings of no comfort, no joy.
… his timing is so atrocious, it would be considered laughable – if there was the remotest possibility of laughing at anything Chevy Chase does.

NATIONAL LAMPOON'S VACATION

3 Star

TOP

NATIONAL LAMPOON’S VACATION

Release: Jul 83 – Review: 30 Apr 16
Road trip-up.
… vain attempts at pushing the envelope on gross-out road-trip comedy…

NATIONAL TREASURE

5 Star

TOP

NATIONAL TREASURE

Release: Nov 04 – Review: 10 Feb 07
Precious Little.
…salted with a snide dig at the political laziness of the American people coupled with a sly j’accuse at their insuperably asinine government.

NATIONAL TREASURE: BOOK OF SECRETS

7 Star

TOP

NATIONAL TREASURE: BOOK OF SECRETS

Release: Dec 07 – Review: 19 Sep 09
I’m going to take a Treasure Bath!
…For all its contrived clue-solving and annoying coincidences and tiresome car chases, and even Nicolas Cage’s mourning face, NATIONAL TREASURE: BOOK OF SECRETS is a lot of fun.

THE NEGOTIATOR

6 Star

TOP

NEGOTIATOR

Release: Jul 98 – Review: 8 Nov 10
Two Wrongs making Two Rights.
And all sensible talking breaks loose.

NEIGHBORS 2014

7 Star

TOP

NEIGHBORS 2014

Release: May 14 – Review: 30 Nov 16
Flab versus Ab.
A young married couple with a newborn are faced with a rowdy college fraternity moving in next door. And all rock hard abs break loose…

THE NET

4 Star

TOP

THE NET

Release: Jul 95 – Review: 13 Jul 14
The Future Is Then.
So exciting I almost opened a new gmail account.

NETWORK

9 Star

TOP

NETWORK

Release: Nov 76 – Review: 16 Sep 12
Don’t get mad – get a News Show.
It would be a satire on how television media is a manipulative force – if it wasn’t truth.

NEW – NIN

THE NEW GUY

2 Star

TOP

THE NEW GUY

Release: May 02 – Review: 16 Apr 09
Once a Dork…
…there are not enough words in the virgin English tongue to describe the depths of stupidity THE NEW GUY plumbs.

NEXT

5 Star

TOP

NEXT

Release: Apr 07 – Review: 11 Jan 10
Next to Nothing.
He can see the future, but he couldn’t see he was going to make an assface of himself by doing this movie.

NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD

5 Star

TOP

NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD

Release: Oct 68 – Review: 1 Nov 09
Night of the Actor’s Studio Rejects.
… a director who couldn’t direct, got together with a bunch of actors who couldn’t act and lumbered out NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD. And the world became a stupider place.

NINE HOURS TO RAMA

7 Star

TOP

NINE HOURS TO RAMA

Release: Apr 63 – Review: 26 Dec 13
The Dark Side of the Horst.
…not about Gandhi per se, but about the white men in blackface who killed him.

NINE MONTHS

3 Star

TOP

NINE MONTHS

Release: Jul 95 – Review: 24 Nov 10
What a miscarriage!
Women are always complaining that men cannot know the pain of childbirth. By watching NINE MONTHS, each of us insensitive men can at last feel such pain.

NO – NUM

NO COUNTRY FOR OLD MEN

8 Star

TOP

NO COUNTRY FOR OLD MEN

Release: Nov 07 – Review: 27 Apr 08
New Killer. Old Hairstyle.
…plot is almost secondary to the exceptional manner in which the story is told through movie MAKING…

NOAH

8 Star

TOP

NOAH

Release: Mar 14 – Review: 20 Apr 14
Dark Ark.
…a tsunami of fresh ideas, a font of profound and creative filmmaking, from a story older than christianity (stop that whining, you mongrel religion of stolen rituals!).

NON-STOP

7 Star

TOP

NON-STOP

Release: Feb 14 – Review: 8 Sep 16
A particular set of thrills.
An air marshal must stop a mysterious texting terrorist…

NOT EASILY BROKEN

3 Star

TOP

NOT EASILY BROKEN

Release: Jan 09 – Review: 19 Jun 09
Preachy, Peachy and Screechy.
…tailored for the black christian market like a black suit and tie is tailored for a Reservoir Dog.

NOTHING SACRED

7 Star

TOP

NOTHING SACRED

Release: Nov 1937 – Review: 5 Oct 17
Before Martin & Lewis – there was March & Lombard.
… the original 1937 screwball comedy that inspired the Martin and Lewis remake, LIVING IT UP in 1954.

NOW YOU SEE ME

6 Star

TOP

NOW YOU SEE ME

Release: May 13 – Review: 2 Jun 16
The closer you look, the less you’ll care…
They’re young, sexy and dangerous. And too smug for their own sleight of hand.

NOWHERE BOY

7 Star

TOP

NOWHERE BOY

Release: Dec 09 – Review: 28 Feb 12
I Am The Baby Seal Jesus.
John Lennon’s high school principal tells him, “You’re going nowhere, son.” At that point, you’re meant to slap yourself on the knee and exclaim “Hah! Little did he know!” Do you feel dirty yet?

THE NUMBER 23

6 Star

TOP

THE NUMBER 23

Release: Feb 07 – Review: 4 Dec 08
The Number of the Least.
…an entertaining diversion, moving at a pace that prevents us from seeing the stupidity in 2+3=23 (yes, this is the “intelligence” level of numerologists).

THE NUT JOB

3 Star

TOP

THE NUT JOB

Release: Jan 14 – Review: 8 May 15
Nutless.
…an animated feature that aims for excitement, romance and danger and doesn’t pull off any of it as successfully as the uncute unlovable animal characters pull off the heist.