3 – 17

3 DAYS TO KILL

6 Star

TOP

3 DAYS TO KILL

Release: Feb 14 – Review: 10 Feb 15
3 Days of Swill.
Kevin Costner is suitably grizzled CIA agent Ethan Renner, suffering from a terrible case of Screenwriting Clichés…

3 RING CIRCUS

6 Star

TOP

3 RING CIRCUS

Release: Release: Dec 54 – Review: 16 Oct 17
Circus of Pain.
… would mark one of the first instances of the cracks in Martin and Lewis’s professional relationship…

3:10 TO YUMA 2007

10 Star

TOP

3:10 TO YUMA 2007

Release: Sep 07 – Review: 28 Feb 09
Black Hat, White Hat, Gray Souls…
… an operatic tale set in the old west, balancing themes of honor, cowardice, heroism, paternalism, on the simplicity of the road movie…

4TH AND LOUD

5 Star

TOP

4TH AND LOUD

Release: Aug 14 – Review: 13 Aug 14
Football by old Ballers.
KISS goes from playing football stadiums to uh, owning the guys who play football in them.

9

6 Star

TOP

9

Release: Sep 09 – Review: 4 Feb 10
Sock It To Me.
… jaw-dropping, wonder-making, magnificent animation sight-spectacular, and an ambitious stab at conceptual darkness. Gone awry.

THE 9/11 COMMISSION REPORT

3 Star

TOP

THE 9/11 COMMISSION REPORT

Release: Sep 09 – Review: 11 Dec 08
History rewritten. And rewritten. And rewritten…
We can’t even call this propaganda. It’s too funny. And by funny, I mean unwatchable.

11:14

8 Star

TOP

11:14

Release: Oct 03 – Review: 28 Jul 11
A Time to Ill
An ingenious tripwire thriller, where a series of unrelated events all come together in the wrong place at the wrong time – 11:14 pm.

12 MONKEYS

8 Star

TOP

12 MONKEYS

Release: Jan 96 – Review: 27 Feb 11
BACK TO THE FUTURE by way of BRAZIL
… a claustrophobic, strangling, time-paradox action stunner; like all Gilliam’s films, it’s also completely off the rails.

12 YEARS A SLAVE

8 Star

TOP

12 YEARS A SLAVE

Release: Nov 13 – Review: 31 Mar 14
Twelve Thousand Years a Slave… and Counting…
… unspeakably terrifying when placed against the larger sociological canvas. I’ll explain all this in a moment if you’ll just stop fussing about the n-word…

13

8 Star

TOP

13

Release: Mar 10 – Review: 28 Dec 13
Target Malpractice.
… like the most intense Russian Roulette moments of THE DEER HUNTER compressed into Christopher Walken pants-wetting proportions.

16 BLOCKS

7 Star

TOP

16 BLOCKS

Release: Mar 06 – Review: 30 Jul 08
With Intent to Act…
… Willis has put some nuanced daylight between himself and The John McClane.

17 AGAIN

5 Star

TOP

17 AGAIN

Release: Release: Apr 09 – Review: 3 Aug 10
Teens and Geeks and MILFs. Oh my!
… how did the best performance come from the tween idol star of the HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL franchise?

21 – 127

21

5 Star

TOP

21

Release: Mar 08 – Review: 28 Dec 08
Counting to Dumb.
I don’t doubt this may be a true story. That the characters displayed such stupidity, I do doubt.

21 & OVER

6 Star

TOP

21 & OVER

Release: Mar 13 – Review: 12 Mar 15
For Mental Ages 21 & Under.
In this ultimately pointless brainless party journey, there are quite a few pointless brainless laughs…

28 DAYS

3 Star

TOP

28 DAYS

Release: Jul 00 – Review: 24 Jul 14
Alco-bollocks Anonymous.
Hey, Alcoholics, Do you really want to be portrayed this way?

THE 33

6 Star

TOP

THE 33

Release: Nov 15 – Review: 28 Oct 16
Deep, dark and whitewashed.
33 men trapped in a mine, arguing over food, water, and who gets to negotiate the book deal.

THE 40 YEAR OLD VIRGIN

6 Star

TOP

THE 40 YEAR OLD VIRGIN

Release: Aug 05 – Review: 23 Mar 09
Most fun you can have not having sex.
… a premise which is utterly ridiculous, a story utterly preposterous and a cast utterly hilarious.

44 INCH CHEST

8 Star

TOP

44 INCH CHEST

Release: Jun 10 – Review: 10 Dec 10
Chest Beating.
… as blackly humorous and yet as feverishly dramatic as only a cockney London thrasher could be.

50 FIRST DATES

2 Star

TOP

50 FIRST DATES

Release: Feb 04 – Review: 12 May 09
Fuggedaboutdit!
Another Adam Sandler movie. Another Chick Flick. Another romantic comedy. Another film that Rob Schneider appears in. All in all, another Spectacular Waste Of Time.

88 MINUTES

4 Star

TOP

88 MINUTES

Release: Apr 08 – Review: 3 Dec 09
87 Minutes Too Long
Coincidentally, Pacino’s hair is so big, he looks like he is auditioning for a pussy-metal band from ’88!

THE 99 PERCENT

8 Star

TOP

THE 99 PERCENT

Release: Dec 11 – Review: 25 Dec 11
When Lambs Become Lions.
… the humble beginnings and audacious flowering of the movement that is blowback for decades of corporate capitalist greed – Occupy Wall Street…

127 HOURS

8 Star

TOP

127 HOURS

Release: Jan 11 – Review: 19 Aug 11
Arm-ageddon.
… like a gruesome car accident – you don’t wanna look, but you can’t turn away.

300 – 10,000

300

8 Star

TOP

300

Release: Mar 07 – Review: 24 Mar 07
Body-shaved for Glory.
… other than that base fact of 300 battle-bred Spartans smashing up against the insurmountable forces of Persian King Xerxes, most of this movie is fancy-pants in a jester’s bodysuit.

300: RISE OF AN EMPIRE

4 Star

TOP

300: RISE OF AN EMPIRE

Release: Mar 14 – Review: 28 Feb 17
300: Rise of the Swoll.
… eye-candy pixel-ocean battle-fest for the sake of eye-candy pixel-ocean battle-fest.

1408

7 Star

TOP

1408

Release: Jul 07 – Review: 27 Jul 07
GROUNDHOG DAY with supernatural teeth.
… the classic staging of Man Trapped In Room…

2001 A SPACE ODYSSEY

10 Star

TOP

2001: A SPACE ODYSSEY

Release: Apr 68 – Review: 31 May 06
Also sprach Kubrick und Clarke.
With the simple placement of an inexplicable, anachronous object – The Monolith – Clarke and Kubrick forge the best “true science fiction” adventure of all time.

2010 ODYSSEY TWO

7 Star

TOP

2010: ODYSSEY TWO

Release: Dec 84 – Review: 9 Apr 06
A Midget in the Footsteps of Giants.
A tension-filled space trek where we laugh at John Lithgow, gasp at the skyscape and weep for a computer…

2012

6 Star

TOP

2012

Release: Nov 09 – Review: 21 Mar 10
And he’ll have fun fun fun ’til his daddy takes the CG away…
As disaster movies go, 2012 is definitely the big one. I mean, how do you outrun the world?

2016: OBAMA'S AMERICA

1 Star

TOP

2016: OBAMA’S AMERICA

Release: Aug 12 – Review: 18 Mar 14
Fooling the Fools Again.
… another documentary-with-alarming-music that preaches to the Republican choir about the black debbil in the White House.

3000 MILES TO GRACELAND

4 Star

TOP

3000 MILES TO GRACELAND

Release: Feb 01 – Review: Oct 03
Another Nail in The King’s Coffin.
… shreds like shooting-range flak in the first thirty minutes, which are very Super-Hero, Hard Guy, flaming-gun-barrel, sneered lips, sequined cloaks and tight-panted thighs.

10,000 BC

1 Star

TOP

10,000 B.C.

Release: Mar 08 – Review: 11 Sep 08
Mammoth Mistake.
… such an authentic and realistic portrayal of primitive man, it is clear he did all his research by watching THE FLINTSTONES.