Poffy The Cucumber's Movie Mania

42 titles

AVATAR

	A Am
	THE A-TEAM Release: Jun 10 - Review: 25 Dec 10 *There's no 'A' in TEAM.* More like the C+ team. The only 'A' in this movie is for Audacity. Or Ass - Jessica Biel's. TOP
	ABSOLUTE POWER Release: Feb 97 - Review: 14 Nov 10 Thieves in the Temple. ...we begin to realize that the actual "thieves" in our temples are not those simple robbers in our houses who steal money and jewels - the thieves are in the highest temples of power... TOP
	THE ABYSS Release: Aug 89 - Review: 11 Jun 11 *Underwater Flying Objects.* James Cameron's parable about humans in an alien environment (at the bottom of the sea) close-encountering aliens in a human environment (here on Earth). TOP
	ACCEPTED Release: Aug 06 - Review: 2 Jul 07 *Entirely Unacceptable.* ... it feels as if they’re only appearing in ACCEPTED because, like their characters, they were rejected from parts on other films. TOP
	ACE VENTURA PET DETECTIVE Release: Feb 94 - Review: 19 Oct 05 *When Over-The-Top Is Under-Achieving.* Jim Carrey's second-ever leading role remains a watershed performance of mega-ultra-outré singularity. TOP
	ACE VENTURA: WHEN NATURE CALLS Release: Nov 95 - Review: 1 Dec 09 *When Nature Calls Through Its Arse.* More muttonhead insanity for muttonheads. That doesn't mean this sequel isn't as bold, brash and bountifully braggadocio as its predecessor; a riotous laugh-a-minute wild kingdom zoo train... TOP
	THE ADJUSTMENT BUREAU Release: Mar 11 - Review: 26 Sep 11 *The Unbearable Rightness of Being.* They're THE ADJUSTMENT BUREAU and they're watching Matt Damon's every move. And adjusting it. All while wearing bad hats. TOP
	THE AGONY AND THE ECSTASY Release: 1965 - Review: 19 Oct 05 *Masterpiece of a Masterpiece.* Stupendous over-acting from both Rex Harrison and Our Man Charlton is the saving grace of this lavish movie... TOP
	ALI G INDAHOUSE Release: Mar 02 - Review: 13 Dec 09 *Big Ups. And Much Sideways.* ...gags that fall absolutely flat and some that fly, ALI G INDAHOUSE is an uneven potpourri of throwing everything this character has against the wall and not caring what sticks or not. TOP
	ALIENS Release: Jul 86 - Review: 28 Apr 08 *The Warrior/Goddess Dichotomy and the Eternal Feminine.* Cameron creates a script that bluntly screams “More is Better” – more aliens, more victims, more explosions and incredible amounts of more mucus. TOP
	ALL ABOUT STEVE Release: Sep 09 - Review: 13 Feb 10 *These Boots Are Made For Stalkin.'* Mary latches onto a cameraman named Steve (Bradley Cooper), who shuns her motor-mouthed advances. And then nothing happens. TOP
	ALL THE KING'S MEN Release: Sep 06 - Review: 2 Oct 06 *...couldn't put this movie together again.* ...this film is so exhaustingly dull, despite its quality film-making, stupendous performances and sober messages. TOP
	ALL THE PRESIDENT'S MEN Release: Apr 76 - Review: 18 Dec 09 *Fall of the Imperial Presidency.* Watergate. Conspiracy. Burglary. Perjury. Courtesy of the President of the United States. TOP
	ALONG CAME POLLY Release: Jan 04 - Review: 6 Jun 06 *Along Came Seymour.* Hoffman uses his disheveled, pariah character like a wrecking ball on this milky-vanilla story. TOP
	ALTERED STATES Release: Dec 80 - Review: 14 Mar 09 *LSD Trip for Intelligentsia.* Eddie (William Hurt) and Arthur (Bob Balaban) are two university scientists experimenting on human regression (mentally reverting to a primitive state) using an isolation tank and sensational drugs... TOP
	AMELIA Release: Oct 09 - Review: 12 Feb 10 *Fly girl.* ...she flies, she flies, she dies. The end. TOP
	AMERICA: FREEDOM TO FASCISM Release: Jun 06 - Review: 31 Aug 07 *American Dream-mare.* Income tax is illegal. It’s not a radical battle cry – it’s the Constitution. Now that you can’t un-know that fact, life is going to get real scary… TOP
	THE AMERICAN Release: Sep 10 - Review: 23 Jan 11 AMERICAN Beauty. Clooney pulls out his reserved cool for this smart European production, once again helping to heal the image of the ugly American. TOP
	AMERICAN GANGSTER Release: Nov 07 - Review: 6 Jan 08 *Smooth Criminal.* Crime = glamour. Crime = hotness. Crime = smoothness. TOP
	THE AMERICAN PRESIDENT Release: Nov 95 - Review: 18 Nov 06 *A Romantic State of Union.* Douglas effortlessly inhabits the President's mantle and it is a constant joy to see him imbue this office with a power that we know the real President does not have... TOP
	AMERICAN PSYCHO Release: Jan 00 - Review: 25 Apr 08 *Exotic Psychotic.* This comedy is not just black - it’s black with sprinkles on top and a human head on a spike. TOP
	AMISTAD Release: Dec 97 - Review: 30 Oct 09 *Re-educating the slaves of perception.* ... one of the modern hammers to beat whitey upside the head for his past racism. No metaphors, no allegories, no analogies - this is straight up, in-ya-face, naked mea culpa racism for all the world to be ashamed at. TOP

	An Av
	ANCHORMAN: THE LEGEND OF RON BURGUNDY Release: Jul 04 - Review: 22 Feb 06 *When The Anchorman was Man-Anchor.* ANCHORMAN ranks alongside A NIGHT AT THE ROXBURY or WAYNE'S WORLD as a stupid, stupid idea that somehow entertains despite itself. TOP
	ANCIENT ALIENS Release: Apr 10 - Review: 22 May 10 *Proving you don't have to be abducted to be anal probed.* ...the latest deformed baby spawned from the boomers who broke their brains on Erich von Däniken's Chariots of the Gods? book series, speculating on alien visitors to Earth bequeathing ancient peoples with advanced technology. TOP
	ANCIENT ALIENS THE SERIES SEASON TWO Release: Oct 10 - Review: 15 Feb 11 *Under The Gods.* Giorgio A. Tsoukalos is at it again! Still consulting producer on ANCIENT ALIENS; still talking about jaguar priests, messenger angels and ancient astronauts as if they really existed... TOP
	ANGELS & DEMONS Release: May 09 - Review: 31 Jan 10 *Dopey Popey.* ...Christians have the temerity to question how "God" can allow bad things to happen. Keep in mind these people use a CRUCIFIXION as their symbol of peace and love. TOP
	ANY WHICH WAY YOU CAN Release: Dec 80 - Review: 14 May 08 *ANY WHICH WAY is a "Right turn, Clyde!"* There’s nothing deep here; crack a beer, strip down to your wife-beater and just enjoy it. TOP
	APACHE Release: 1954 - Review: 7 Aug 05 *Corn-y Apache.* Yet another grandiose insult to the Native American people. TOP
	APOCALYPTO Release: Dec 06 - Review: 3 Jan 07 *An Epic Fable in a Jugular Vein.* ... a bone axe to the cervical vertebrae at the base of the skull; jungle-wild beauty juxtaposed with bestial brutality, exceptionally well-executed. TOP
	APOLLO 13 Release: Jun 95 - Review: 6 Sep 05 *The Greatest Successful Failure Of All Time*. ...the "failure" of the Apollo 13 lunar mission aided in advancing space-faring dialect and paved the future with skyward momentum... TOP
	ARMAGEDDON Release: Jul 98 - Review: 8 Dec 08 *Arma Dyin' Here.* Imagine the worst pain and suffering ever. That's how it's gonna feel at the end of the world. Coincidentally, you can feel that exact same pain and suffering by watching Michael Bay's ARMAGEDDON. TOP
	ARTHUR Release: Jul 81 - Review: 9 Dec 11 *Little boy booze.* The breezy, boozy tale of a wealthy enabled young man who can't do without money - until he realizes money can't buy him what he really can't do without. TOP
	ARTHUR 2011 Release: Apr 11 - Review: 29 Aug 11 *Lost between the Moon and New York City.* The slogan of ARTHUR is "Meet the world's only lovable billionaire." Isn't that the most antagonistic of oxymorons in this economic climate? TOP
	AS GOOD AS IT GETS Release: Dec 97 - Review: 14 Oct 09 *A man-size Jack in a girl-size film.* In the film's final moments, he blindsided us with a line that only a Girly Movie can't be criminally prosecuted for, "Why can't I just have a normal girlfriend?" TOP
	THE ASSASSINATION OF JESSE JAMES BY THE COWARD ROBERT FORD Release: Oct 07 - Review: 29 Dec 08 *The Shooting of an Olde Worlde Epic by a New World Filmmaker.* ...even the wordy title itself transports us back to grainy film and honky-tonk pianos, thrusting us bodily into the grimy, wild, paranoid frontier that was romanticized beyond its harsh reality. TOP
	ASTRO BOY 2009 Release: Oct 09 - Review: 14 Dec 10 *When the cute robots take over the skyways...* The cartoon was cuter because his head was bigger. Still, ASTRO BOY has a lot of heart; it's an adult cartoon clothed in tiny metal undies and yeti boots. TOP
	AUSTIN POWERS: INTERNATIONAL MAN OF MYSTERY Release: May 97 - Review: 16 Feb 10 *Swinging! Like a man, man!* It is part spy spoof, part fish-out-of-water, all Swedish-made penis enlarger. TOP
	AUSTRALIA Release: Nov 08 - Review: 2 Dec 08 *Epic Saddlebag Superhero.* Well, it's Baz Luhrmann, so it's gonna be stylish; it's Nicole Kidman, so it's gonna be painfully pretty; it's Hugh Jackman, so it's gonna be oozing sexual bacon like a piston on powerdrive. TOP
	AVATAR Release: Dec 09 - Review: 1 Jan 10 *Electra Glide in Jungle Cat Blue.* Frank Zappa once said, "Writing about music is like tap dancing about architecture." And there's no way to describe James Cameron's AVATAR without a lot of tap dancing. TOP
	THE AVIATOR Release: Dec 04 - Review: 28 Jul 07 *That Magnificent Man and His Flying Machines.* A powerful biopic of sex, insanity and aeroplanes. In any order. TOP
	AVP: ALIEN VS. PREDATOR Release: Aug 04 - Review: 2 Sep 05 *AVP: Audience vs. Padding*. ...akin to the nippled Batsuit – a franchise gone too far. TOP
	AVPR: ALIENS VS. PREDATOR - REQUIEM Release: Dec 07 - Review: 2 Oct 08 *Requiem for a Dweeb.* Hundreds of Aliens. One Predator. No actors. TOP

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