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 | BABEL
 Release:
Oct 06 - Review: 18 May 07 
Babel-icious.
Four stories intertwine, spanning continents, cultures, cityscapes
and chicks without panties.
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 | BARB
WIRE
Release: May 96 - Review: 21 Apr 06 
Livin'
Large on Marketable Melons.
If
you've seen Casablanca, you don't want to watch this movie. It will bring
the pain - knowing that resting on that classic movie's shoulders, are this movie's
breasts.
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 | BATMAN
Release: Jun 89 - Review: 12 May 07
Part Noir, Part
Comicbook, All Knight.
...Michael Keaton squeezed
his distinctive lip structure into that sacred cowl and surprised everyone to
become the Sean Connery of Batmen.
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| | BATMAN
AND ROBIN
Release: Jun 1997 - Review: 10 Sep 05
From Dark Knight
to Boogie Knight.
And in camping it up, Schumacher
seemed oblivious on where to draw the line: primary colors shriek in anguish and
gobos coruscate like an LSD afternoon delight...
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| BATMAN
BEGINS
Release: Jun 05 - Review: 2 Aug 05
Dark Knight Reconstructionist
Theory.
...if there was
one modern legend that needed fixin', it was the laughable vamp and clamorous
camp of Gotham's fruity caped crusader, the Bat Man. As Michael Caine might opine,
"About bloody time!"
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| THE
BEAST FROM 20,000 FATHOMS
Release: 1953 - Review: 28 Jul 05
There Were Giants
In Those Days - and Harryhausen was the largest.
...a
level of pseudo-realism attained that magnificently satisfied those Pre-CGI audiences
and allows even a post-Episode-III audience to appreciate at least the towering
aspirations...
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 | BEING
JOHN MALKOVICH
Release: Sep 99 - Review: 17 Jun 06
The Importance
Of Being Malkovich.
For originality alone,
it deserves the highest accolades. Like its eponymous subject matter, it is inexplicable
and indefinable.
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BEOWULF
 Release: Nov 07 - Review: 6 Jan 08
So Close... Yet So Beowulf.
... to tackle another incarnation one needs to bring something pretty extraordinary to the table. And Robert Zemeckis’ Beowulf is definitely extraordinary – in one sense. And definitely mediocre in all others…
TOP |
| | THE
BIG CHILL
Release: Sep 1983 - Review: 6 Nov 05 
Nostalgia
Comes Cold-Calling.
A chick-flick clothed in
tracksuit pants, lord help us all if we didn't relate to these 1980-something
characters, with their yuppie elitism and consumerist élan...
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 | BIG
DADDY
 Release:
Jun 99 - Review: 5 Aug 06
Daddy Stupidest.
At its worst, it stoops to asinine scripting and punchlining gays
- and there's that Rob Schneider thing.
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BILLY MADISON
Release: Feb 95 - Review: 21 Jul 07
For Moron Eyes Only.
...Adam Sandler, playing the eponymous Billy Madison with every ounce of talent the christian god forgot to give him. A fine businessman he is; a writer and comedian he's not.
TOP |
 | BLACK
SNAKE MOAN
Release: Mar 07 - Review: 31 Mar 07
Soft-Porn Groan.
If you really want a porno, watch a porno. Yet pornography (albeit
heavily diluted) is this film's only selling point, for when Ricci is offscreen,
not showing off her rounded ta-tas and tight-pantied pubis, we're not really interested
in much else.
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 | BLOOD
DIAMOND
Release: Dec 06 - Review: 24 Jan 07
A Rough in the
Diamond.
Though it is against the horrors perpetrated
by the rebels and their leveraging of "blood diamonds," the movie recreates
their atrocities so well that it will rake in millions on the depiction of those
atrocities.
TOP |
 | BORAT:
CULTURAL LEARNINGS OF AMERICA FOR MAKE BENEFIT GLORIOUS NATION OF KAZAKHSTAN
Release: Nov 06 - Review: 11 Dec 06
For Make Laugh
on Jew and Retard.
Never has been a movie exposing
more people so red of neck or so mong of loid.
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BREACH
Release: Feb 07 - Review: 29 Apr 08
Scapegoat for a far more evil government.
George W. Bush’s and Dick Cheney’s Amerika offers absolutely zero moral high ground to crow about OTHER people selling secrets to enemies.
TOP |
 | BROKEBACK
MOUNTAIN
Release: Dec 05 - Review: 19 Jan 2006
Brokeback Mountin'.
The Days of Our Lives
meets The Gays of Our Lives, director Ang Lee's Brokeback Mountain is an
ambitious yet maudlin, slightly above-average American love story. Slightly.
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 | THE
BUTTERFLY EFFECT
Release: Jan 04 - Review: 13 Apr 06
The Teen Model
Effect.
The Butterfly Effect movie is
based on chaos theory in the same way that Achy Breaky Heart is based on
Bohemian Rhapsody.
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