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| | THE
CABLE GUY
Release: Jun 1996 - Review: 10 Apr 04 
Cable for Nothin'
and your Guilt for Free.
...misunderstood by
critics and panned by mongoloid fans who only wanted more Ace to sit on their
face...
TOP
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 | CAPOTE
Release: Sep 05 - Review: 2 Apr 07 
Dark. Somber. Effective.
Affective.
The film's darkness will seep into
your own soul like dew into floorboards.
TOP |
| | CAPRICORN
ONE
Release: 1978 - Review: 4 Oct 05
Read a book instead.
Conspiracy Theorists must have thrown a week-long booze-up when
this movie hit cinemas, cries of "We told you so!" reverberating off
their Lonely-Guy hobbit-hole walls...
TOP
|
 | CASINO
ROYALE
Release: Nov 06 - Review: 8 May 07
Old Spy, New World,
Tight Arse.
International
espionage will never be the same. It is now certifiably MAN-HOT.
TOP |
| | CAST
AWAY
Release: Dec 2000 - Review: 20 Oct 05 
A Breath Of Fresh
Island Air.
For those who value their quietude
and the removal from rat-racing it brings.
TOP |
 | CATWOMAN
 Release: Jul 04 - Review:
22 Nov 05
Pussy Galore.
Sensually clobbering bad guys and good guys alike, in her quest
to beat out Debbie Diamond as the World's Biggest Whore...
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CHARLIE'S
ANGELS: FULL THROTTLE
Release:
Jun 03 - Review: Dec 04
Too
much style IS a bad thing.
Why are these puerile,
cardboard doxies regarded as screen goddesses?; heroines for an arse-tattooed
generation of over-fed, class-less, prepubescent, poorly-educated future streetwalkers?
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| CHEAPER
BY THE DOZEN
Release: Dec 03 - Review: 7 Nov 05
Children Of The
Damned.
When Ashton Kutcher is the funniest
thing in your movie, it's time to re-assess everything you hold dear.
TOP
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 | CHILDREN
OF MEN
Release: Dec 06 - Review: 16 Feb 07
Brave New Future
Shocker.
There is something in Children
of Men to offend almost everyone - which is why it is so powerful. It fears
no one.
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CON AIR
 Release: Jun 97 - Review: 26 Apr 08
Just Another Con.
...lots and lots and lots and lots of pretty orange explosions and guys diving in slow motion while shooting big guns...
TOP |
 | CONSTANTINE
Release: Feb 05 - Review: 21 Apr 06 
Inconstantine.
Directed
by Music Video Director to the Sluts, Francis Lawrence (Britney, Janet, J-Lo),
the roaring beauty of this movie is tempered by its dangerous stupidities.
TOP
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| CONTACT
Release: Jul 1997 - Review: 31 Oct 05
Buried within The
Message from Vega - The Message from Sagan.
Though
it may never attain the lofty heights of commercialism that "Close Encounters"
enjoyed, "Contact" is, in fact, a more intelligent vision of extra-terrestrial
communication with our outer-spiral-arm planet.
TOP
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| THE
CORE
Release: Mar 03 - Review: 14 Aug 05
Anthropocentric
Spin.
Was the "science consultant"
on this movie a G.E.D.? - and, more importantly, may I book some time to slap
him?
TOP
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 | CRANK
Release: Sep 06 - Review: 13 Sep 06
Crank-y.
Super stylish. Super amped. Super shallow.
TOP
|
 | THE
CREEPING TERROR
Release: 1964 - Review: 18 Nov 05
Don't Fear
The Creeper.
...would have remained in its Z-Movie
graveyard were it not for the notoriety it achieved via its skewering on MST
3K.
TOP
|
 | CROCODILE
DUNDEE
Release: Sep 1986 - Review: 20 May 06
From Barbecued
Shrimps to New York Pimps and Boyfriend Wimps.
Though merely a modern, laconic retelling of the noble savage tale, the movie
is refreshing enough in its simplicity and sincerity to garner itself a little
shelf life in the Tarzan pantheon.
TOP |
 | CROCODILE
DUNDEE II
Release: May 88 - Review: 13 Aug 06
A Crock of Croc.
Crocodile Dundee II takes all that was good about the original
and, like most sequels, ignores it.
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CROCODILE HUNTER: COLLISION COURSE
Release: Jul 02 - Review: 12 Aug 07
Madman Across the Water.
The plot is quite irrelevant, as it is Steve’s animal magnetism that propels the film.
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