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THE CABLE GUY
Release: Jun 1996 - Review: 10 Apr 04

Cable for Nothin' and your Guilt for Free.

...misunderstood by critics and panned by mongoloid fans who only wanted more Ace to sit on their face...
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CAPOTE
Release: Sep 05 - Review: 2 Apr 07

Dark. Somber. Effective. Affective.

The film's darkness will seep into your own soul like dew into floorboards.
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CAPRICORN ONE
Release: 1978 - Review: 4 Oct 05


Read a book instead.

Conspiracy Theorists must have thrown a week-long booze-up when this movie hit cinemas, cries of "We told you so!" reverberating off their Lonely-Guy hobbit-hole walls...
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CASINO ROYALE
Release: Nov 06 - Review: 8 May 07

Old Spy, New World, Tight Arse.

International espionage will never be the same. It is now certifiably MAN-HOT.

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CAST AWAY
Release: Dec 2000 - Review: 20 Oct 05

A Breath Of Fresh Island Air.

For those who value their quietude and the removal from rat-racing it brings.
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CATWOMAN
Release: Jul 04 - Review: 22 Nov 05


Pussy Galore.

Sensually clobbering bad guys and good guys alike, in her quest to beat out Debbie Diamond as the World's Biggest Whore...
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CHARLIE'S ANGELS: FULL THROTTLE
Release: Jun 03 - Review: Dec 04

Too much style IS a bad thing.
Why are these puerile, cardboard doxies regarded as screen goddesses?; heroines for an arse-tattooed generation of over-fed, class-less, prepubescent, poorly-educated future streetwalkers?
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CHEAPER BY THE DOZEN
Release: Dec 03 - Review: 7 Nov 05


Children Of The Damned.

When Ashton Kutcher is the funniest thing in your movie, it's time to re-assess everything you hold dear.
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CHILDREN OF MEN
Release: Dec 06 - Review: 16 Feb 07

Brave New Future Shocker.

There is something in Children of Men to offend almost everyone - which is why it is so powerful. It fears no one.
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CON AIR
Release: Jun 97 - Review: 26 Apr 08

Just Another Con.

...lots and lots and lots and lots of pretty orange explosions and guys diving in slow motion while shooting big guns...
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CONSTANTINE
Release: Feb 05 - Review: 21 Apr 06

Inconstantine.

Directed by Music Video Director to the Sluts, Francis Lawrence (Britney, Janet, J-Lo), the roaring beauty of this movie is tempered by its dangerous stupidities.
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CONTACT
Release: Jul 1997 - Review: 31 Oct 05

Buried within The Message from Vega - The Message from Sagan.

Though it may never attain the lofty heights of commercialism that "Close Encounters" enjoyed, "Contact" is, in fact, a more intelligent vision of extra-terrestrial communication with our outer-spiral-arm planet.
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THE CORE
Release: Mar 03 - Review: 14 Aug 05

Anthropocentric Spin.

Was the "science consultant" on this movie a G.E.D.? - and, more importantly, may I book some time to slap him?
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CRANK
Release: Sep 06 - Review: 13 Sep 06

Crank-y.

Super stylish. Super amped. Super shallow.
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THE CREEPING TERROR
Release: 1964 - Review: 18 Nov 05

Don't Fear The Creeper.

...would have remained in its Z-Movie graveyard were it not for the notoriety it achieved via its skewering on MST 3K.
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CROCODILE DUNDEE
Release: Sep 1986 - Review: 20 May 06

From Barbecued Shrimps to New York Pimps and Boyfriend Wimps.

Though merely a modern, laconic retelling of the noble savage tale, the movie is refreshing enough in its simplicity and sincerity to garner itself a little shelf life in the Tarzan pantheon.
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CROCODILE DUNDEE II
Release: May 88 - Review: 13 Aug 06

A Crock of Croc.

Crocodile Dundee II takes all that was good about the original and, like most sequels, ignores it.
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CROCODILE HUNTER: COLLISION COURSE
Release: Jul 02 - Review: 12 Aug 07

Madman Across the Water.

The plot is quite irrelevant, as it is Steve’s animal magnetism that propels the film.
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