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EAGLE EYE
 Release: Sep 08 - Review: 21 Jun 09 
Computer Bluesie, Computer Floosie.
Not another supercomputer that thinks humans are illogical and don't deserve to live! When are humans gonna learn to unplug these things overnight...
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EASTERN PROMISES
 Release: Sep 07 - Review: 31 Mar 09
Broken Promises.
...early scenes do well to create an aura of uneasiness around the Russians. It falls apart just about the time we see Viggo stark frontal nekkid. You heard me, ladies...
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EDDIE
AND THE CRUISERS II: EDDIE LIVES!
Release: Aug 1989 - Review: Nov 03 
Rock and Roll IS Dead.
To fully enjoy this movie, one requires
a full frontal lobotomy, no exposure to the last fifty
years of rock and roll and a golf club delivered at
strategic intervals to the scrotum.
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ELF
Release: Nov 03 - Review: 14 Jun 06 
Elven Hell.
Will Ferrell is funny. This movie is not.
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EMILY'S
REASONS WHY NOT
Release: Jan 06 - Review: 2 Apr 06
Why?
Dear Spoiled Byoch: Y'know, guys don't
want to hear your reasons why not. Matter of fact, guys
don't even want to know your reasons WHY.
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END
OF DAYS
Release: Nov 99 - Review: 22 Sep 06 
End of Intelligence.
Arnold fans will holler in joy, fans of
brainless action will holler in astonishment, and Catholics
will just holler.
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ENTERPRISE
Release: Sep 01 - Review: Sep 01
First Ship, First Captain, First Mistake.
...with a Star Fleet insignia pasted to
your left nipple and a flagrant lemon coloration that
just screamed “boy toy” on the dance floor.
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ENVY
Release: Apr 04 - Review: 26 Nov 05
Poo-sillanimous.
With Levinson's loose direction and constipated
performances, Envy fails to make a splash.
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ETERNAL
SUNSHINE OF THE SPOTLESS MIND
Release: Mar 04 - Review: 3 Jun 06
"Eternal" shines then dims.
...topples from its lofty aspirations
to explore the girly-man question of whether you would
re-commit to someone whom you have already discerned you
cannot stand.
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EVERY
WHICH WAY BUT LOOSE
Release: Dec 78 - Review: 20 Jan 07
American Knuckle Sandwich.
Disguised as a simplistic road story,
Every Which Way But Loose is a paean to freedom...
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