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JACKASS:
THE MOVIE
 
Release: Oct
02 - Review: 23 Jan 06
Jockstraps and Beer.
If human civilization is to retain any
semblance of forward momentum, never let our children
see JACKASS: THE MOVIE. Matter of fact, once you've
seen it yourself, burn your copy and wash your genitals.
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JACKASS NUMBER TWO
Release: Sep 06 - Review: 30 Jul 11
More Jockstraps. More Beer.
Knoxville and his crew of masochists do more stupid stuff which hurts them badly and could get them killed - and film it.
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JACKASS 2.5
 
Release: Dec 07 - Review: 31 Jul 11
See what idiots with movie contracts are capable of - not much.
...someone really needs to stop me beating the shit out of Johnny Knoxville for this lame excuse of a polished turd he calls a “movie.” Trouble is, he'd enjoy it.
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JARHEAD
 
Release: Nov 05 - Review: 30 Jul 07
JARHEAD is the new JACKET.
... this movie is not about bullets and bombs tearing flesh off bone, but rather the loneliness, confusion and misguided patriotism of the United States Marine.
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JAWS
Release:
Jun 75 - Review: 7 May 09
A Whale of a Tale.
When Steven Speilberg first heard John Williams's simple, ominous JAWS theme, he apparently thought it was a joke. Now who's laughing?
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JAWS 2
Release: Jun 78 - Review: 23 Feb 09
New Shark, Old Story.
We know what’s going to happen: you go in the water – you get eaten. Pretty much.
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JAWS 3
Release: Jul 83 - Review: 7 Apr 11
Terrorized by puppets and stock footage.
Remember Spinal Tap's album, Shark Sandwich and its two-word review?
"Shit sandwich."
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JCVD
Release: Jun 08 - Review: 30 May 09
Muscles from Brussels in Tussles.
...a richly layered, self-effacing, dark comedy; in a world where Van Damme's own legend proves his undoing and his salvation.
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JESUS
CHRIST SUPERSTAR
 
Release:
Aug 1973 - Review: 28 Dec 05
Nails It.
...as reverent as it is blasphemous, as
bombastic as it is humble, as god as it is zilla.
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JESUS
CHRIST SUPERSTAR 2000
Release: Mar 01 - Review: 26 Nov 05
Jesus Tapdancing Christ.
Not the definitive SUPERSTAR, yet
sincere enough to uphold a grand tradition - Behold, it
is good.
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JOE KIDD
Release: Jul 72 - Review: 17 Aug 10
Just Kidding.
...a towering example of Eastwood being himself, doing all those outlandish things only Clint can get away with in a Clint Eastwood movie; the types of things that make schoolboys grow up idolizing the laconic, lanky super cowboy...
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JOE
VERSUS THE VOLCANO
Release: Mar
90 - Review: 23 Nov 05
Sacrificial Ham.
Long before CAST AWAY, Hanks here finds
himself adrift on an endless ocean with nothing but a
mindless entity for companionship - Meg Ryan.
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J-OK'EL
Release: Mar 07 - Review: 7 Feb 09
You must be J-ok'ing.
...bad acting, no acting, insipid acting and some jaw-dropping in-camera special effects make J-OK'EL nigh unwatchable - if you can stay awake long enough to not watch it.
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JOURNEY TO THE CENTER OF THE EARTH 2008
Release: Jul 08 - Review: 24 Dec 08
Hitting Bottom.
Boy's Movie. In 3D. Serves its purpose of getting thirteen-year-old boys interested in slim blond girls with indeterminate Euro accents and tennis-ball ta-tas.
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