 |
|
|
|
|
 | MADAGASCAR
Release: May 05 - Review: 16 Apr 07 
Mad
at Gascar.
The action is loud, slapstick, colorful
and - unless you are eight - generally unfunny.
TOP |
 | MAFIA
 Release:
Jul 98 - Review: 7 Dec 06 
"What have
I ever done to make you treat me so disrespectfully?"
This movie is the severed horse's head bleeding all over the pajamas
of intelligent moviegoers everywhere.
TOP
|
 |
THE MAIDEN HEIST
 Release: Oct 09 - Review: 20 Nov 09 
Beauty is in the hands of the Beholders.
A quaint little heist comedy, with a nifty romantic resolution...
TOP |
 |
MALCOLM X
 Release: Nov 92 - Review: 11 Feb 09
Malcolm in the Shizzle.
Before MLK, Before O, there was - X.
TOP |
 |
MARGOT AT THE WEDDING
Release: Nov 07 - Review: 6 Apr 09
The Family that frays together...
What do you get when you reunite two high maintenance sisters after years of not speaking to each other? Higher maintenance.
TOP |
 |
MARLEY & ME
Release: Dec 08 - Review: 27 Apr 09
The Pursuit of Crappyness.
I guess dog lovers think this is funny? Like Hurricane Katrina was funny to New Orleans.
TOP |
 | MATCH
POINT
Release: Jan 06 - Review: 2 Sep 06
Unmatched.
Woody Allen is like Clint Eastwood - well, not in terms of Man
With No Name, raptor-eyed, iconic screen presence - but as a film-maker. The older
he gets, the more mature and well-made his films become.
TOP
|
|
| ME,
MYSELF AND IRENE
Release: Jun 00 - Review: Oct 01
So Much Effort,
So Little Movie.
Jim
Carrey in another 10-star performance. Alas, for a mere 7-star movie.
TOP
|
|
| MEET
THE FOCKERS
Release: Dec 04 - Review: 9 Apr 06
Fock This!
There
are two big laughs in Meet The Fockers - but I can't remember where they
are.
TOP
|
 | MEMENTO
Release: Mar 01 - Review: 28 Nov 06
The Reverse Genius
Principle.
Christopher Nolan has crafted a
film where the clues to a murder fall neatly OUT of place. Backwards.
TOP
|
 |
MILK
 Release: Nov 08 - Review: 9 Apr 09
Got Rights?
MILK follows the short, comet-across-the-skies career of Harvey Milk (Sean Penn), the first gay official elected to public office in the Close-minded United Hypocrite States of America.
TOP |
|
|
MIRACLE
ON 34TH STREET 1994
Release: Nov 94 - Review: 30 Mar 06
A Muddle-Headed
Miracle.
...one
of those well-intentioned "dangerous" movies which purport to wholesome
"family" entertainment, whilst insidiously intimating that intelligence
and reason are only for fools.
TOP
|
|
| MISSION
TO MARS
 Release: Mar 00 - Review: 29 May 06
Mission To Farce.
... exhibiting so many misdemeanors, misrepresentations, misapplied
physics laws, missteps and misapprehension of spacefaring dialect that one wonders
which second-grader took three months off school to helm it.
TOP
|
 |
MOBY DICK
Release: Jun 56 - Review: 3 Dec 09
Taming the Beast of Man.
So there I am, big white sperm whale, enjoying the ocean green, going about my whaley business, when along comes Cap'n Ahab and harpoons me! Without so much as a "By your leave!"
TOP |
 | MONSTER
HOUSE
Release: Jun 06 - Review: 20 Feb 07
Property Impropriety.
Adults will be technically delighted, teens might be somewhat amused
and little kids won't even conceptualize the psychotic horror beneath the surface
scares.
TOP
|
|
| MONSTER-IN-LAW
Release: May 05 - Review: 18 May 06
Dogwalker Meets Bitch.
... though
she has barely made a clutch of films worth remembering, Fonda's family name deserves
better than to be sullied with moronic sewage spill such as this.
TOP
|
 |
MONSTERS VS ALIENS
Release: Mar 09 - Review: 24 Oct 09
Monstrous Alienation.
MONSTER VS ALIENS is a suitably giggly concept, well executed in 3D animation, well written, with funny characters and a straightforward storyline that kiddies will understand. Yet it fails for a fundamental reason - it advocates Guantánamo Bay!
TOP |
 |
MONTY PYTHON AND THE HOLY GRAIL
 Release: Mar 75 - Review: 4 Aug 07
How we know the Earth to be Banana-Shaped.
...Python schools Hollywood on the Shakespearean value of playing all the parts yourselves, attending to authenticity in set dressing and costuming, and using really, really silly voices.
TOP |
 |
MR AND MRS SMITH
Release: Jun 05 - Review: 18 May 08
Emasculation Proclamation.
Ours is not to reason why, ours is but to popcorn and die – that’s how stupid this movie treats us.
TOP |
 |
MR BROOKS
Release: Jun 07 - Review: 3 Feb 09
Serial-licious.
Serial killer. Not a sympathetic role, but in MR. BROOKS, Kevin Costner dives into the psychotic title character with a violinist's verve.
TOP |
 |
MR SMITH GOES TO WASHINGTON
Release: Oct 39 - Review: 31 Oct 09
Pure as the driven ho.
...embarrassing idealistic fantasy. Without any solutions. It relies on the age-old tactic of being a drama queen to get through the armor of corrupt politicians.
TOP |
|
MR WOODCOCK
Release: Sep 07 - Review: 18 Dec 08 
Wooden Cack.
It's BAD SANTA meets any Will Ferrell sports movie. Which means it's Billy Bob Thornton in a comedy that really sucks.
TOP |
|
MULTIPLICITY
Release: Jul 96 - Review: 24 Jan 10
Keaton's Bravura Quadriformance.
One person sells MULTIPLICITY: Michael Keaton. And Michael Keaton. And Michael Keaton. And Michael Keaton.
TOP |
| | MUNICH
Release: Dec 05 - Review: 8 Jan 06
An Ingenious Fantasy
by a Fantasy Genius.
Munich
is not about Munich. Nor is it about events which followed the massacre of Israeli
athletes. It is about Steven Spielberg's ego.
TOP
|
|
|
|
|
|
