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MACHETE
 
Release: Sep 10 - Review: 17 Apr 11
Carving a niche for immigration heroes.
The much-overlooked yet mustered Danny Trejo brings his battleground face to the title role of Robert Rodriguez's hilariously vicious MACHETE...
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MADAGASCAR
 
Release: May 05 - Review: 16 Apr 07
Mad
at Gascar.
The action is loud, slapstick, colorful
and - unless you are eight - generally unfunny.
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MAFIA
 
Release:
Jul 98 - Review: 7 Dec 06
"What have
I ever done to make you treat me so disrespectfully?"
This movie is the severed horse's head bleeding all over the pajamas
of intelligent moviegoers everywhere.
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THE MAIDEN HEIST
Release: Oct 09 - Review: 20 Nov 09
The Passion of The Heist.
A quaint little heist comedy, with a nifty romantic resolution...
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MALCOLM X
Release: Nov 92 - Review: 11 Feb 09
Malcolm in the Shizzle.
Before MLK, Before O, there was - X.
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MANHATTAN
Release: Apr 79 - Review: 13 Jun 10
Allen's Town.
On the island city of MANHATTAN, Woody Allen's masterful study of how every person is an island.
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MARGOT AT THE WEDDING
Release: Nov 07 - Review: 6 Apr 09
The Family that frays together...
What do you get when you reunite two high maintenance sisters after years of not speaking to each other? Higher maintenance.
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MARLEY & ME
Release: Dec 08 - Review: 27 Apr 09
The Pursuit of Crappyness.
I guess dog lovers think this is funny? Like Hurricane Katrina was funny to New Orleans.
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MATCH
POINT
Release: Jan 06 - Review: 2 Sep 06
Unmatched.
Woody Allen is like Clint Eastwood - well, not in terms of Man
With No Name, raptor-eyed, iconic screen presence - but as a film-maker. The older
he gets, the more mature and well-made his films become.
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ME,
MYSELF AND IRENE
Release: Jun 00 - Review: Oct 01
So Much Effort,
So Little Movie.
Jim
Carrey in another 10-star performance. Alas, for a mere 7-star movie.
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MEET
THE FOCKERS
Release: Dec 04 - Review: 9 Apr 06
Fock This!
There
are two big laughs in MEET THE FOCKERS - but I can't remember where they
are.
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MEMENTO
Release: Mar 01 - Review: 28 Nov 06
The Reverse Genius
Principle.
Christopher Nolan has crafted a
film where the clues to a murder fall neatly OUT of place. Backwards.
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THE MEN WHO STARE AT GOATS
Release: Nov 09 - Review: 28 Jun 11
The Film That Stares Into Space.
... how your tax dollars were misappropriated by the George W. Bush administration to make the Fake War On Terror even faker.
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MIDWAY
 
Release: Jun 76 - Review: 5 Jul 11
Midway between "average" and "annoying crap."
Director Jack Smight has a TV movie on his hands that he believes will be fleshed out by his "movie stars," again underestimating the intelligence of his audience...
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MILK
Release: Nov 08 - Review: 9 Apr 09
Got Rights?
MILK follows the short, comet-across-the-skies career of Harvey Milk (Sean Penn), the first gay official elected to public office in the Close-minded United Hypocrite States of America.
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MILLION DOLLAR BABY
Release: Jan 05 - Review: 19 Jul 10
Punch drunk love.
Clint Eastwood's magnificent tone-poem of determination, respect, redemption, salvation, loyalty... oh, and there's some boxing and stuff...
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MIRACLE
ON 34TH STREET 1994
Release: Nov 94 - Review: 30 Mar 06
A Muddle-Headed
Miracle.
...one
of those well-intentioned "dangerous" movies which purport to wholesome
"family" entertainment, whilst insidiously intimating that intelligence
and reason are only for fools.
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MISSION
TO MARS
Release: Mar 00 - Review: 29 May 06
Mission To Farce.
... exhibiting so many misdemeanors, misrepresentations, misapplied
physics laws, missteps and misapprehension of spacefaring dialect that one wonders
which second-grader took three months off school to helm it.
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MOBY DICK
Release: Jun 56 - Review: 3 Dec 09
Taming the Beast of Man.
So there I am, big white sperm whale, enjoying the ocean green, going about my whaley business, when along comes Cap'n Ahab and harpoons me! Without so much as a "By your leave!"
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MONSTER
HOUSE
Release: Jun 06 - Review: 20 Feb 07
Property Impropriety.
Adults will be technically delighted, teens might be somewhat amused
and little kids won't even conceptualize the psychotic horror beneath the surface
scares.
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MONSTER-IN-LAW
Release: May 05 - Review: 18 May 06
Dogwalker Meets Bitch.
... though
she has barely made a clutch of films worth remembering, Fonda's family name deserves
better than to be sullied with moronic sewage spill such as this.
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MONSTERS VS ALIENS
Release: Mar 09 - Review: 24 Oct 09
Monstrous Alienation.
MONSTER VS ALIENS is a suitably giggly concept, well executed in 3D animation, well written, with funny characters and a straightforward storyline that kiddies will understand. Yet it fails for a fundamental reason - it advocates Guantánamo Bay!
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MONTY PYTHON AND THE HOLY GRAIL
Release: Mar 75 - Review: 4 Aug 07
How we know the Earth to be Banana-Shaped.
...Python schools Hollywood on the Shakespearean value of playing all the parts yourselves, attending to authenticity in set dressing and costuming, and using really, really silly voices.
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MOON
Release: Jul 09 - Review: 30 Mar 10
Space Oddity.
...an intelligent, thoughtful, unsettling, dialog-driven drama and the first true science fiction movie in a light year.
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MR AND MRS SMITH
Release: Jun 05 - Review: 18 May 08
Emasculation Proclamation.
Ours is not to reason why, ours is but to popcorn and die – that’s how stupid this movie treats us.
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MR BROOKS
Release: Jun 07 - Review: 3 Feb 09
Serial-licious.
Serial killer. Not a sympathetic role, but in MR. BROOKS, Kevin Costner dives into the psychotic title character with a violinist's verve.
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MR. HOLLAND'S OPUS
Release: Jan 96 - Review: 17 Mar 10
Mopus Opus.
A well-intentioned redemption movie that follows all its formulas sweetly, then tries one last tear-jerk that just makes us feel dirty...
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MR SMITH GOES TO WASHINGTON
Release: Oct 39 - Review: 31 Oct 09
Pure as the driven ho.
...embarrassing idealistic fantasy. Without any solutions. It relies on the age-old tactic of being a drama queen to get through the armor of corrupt politicians.
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MR WOODCOCK
Release: Sep 07 - Review: 18 Dec 08
Wooden Cack.
It's BAD SANTA meets any Will Ferrell sports movie. Which means it's Billy Bob Thornton in a comedy that really sucks.
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MULTIPLICITY
Release: Jul 96 - Review: 24 Jan 10
Keaton's Bravura Quadriformance.
One person sells MULTIPLICITY: Michael Keaton. And Michael Keaton. And Michael Keaton. And Michael Keaton.
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MUNICH
Release: Dec 05 - Review: 8 Jan 06
An Ingenious Fantasy
by a Fantasy Genius.
MUNICH is not about Munich. Nor is it about events which followed the massacre of Israeli
athletes. It is about Steven Spielberg's ego.
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MY SUPER EX-GIRLFRIEND
Release: Jul 06 - Review: 24 Feb 10
High Maintenance Heroine.
It's a very funny movie - even WITH the double-standard woman-empowering out of control.
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