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PAM AND TOMMY LEE: HARDCORE & UNCENSORED
 Release: 1998 - Review: 24 Nov 09 
White Trash Circus.
Pamela Anderson and Tommy Lee naked. Like we haven't seen that before.
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PAN'S LABYRINTH
 Release: Jan 07 - Review: 24 Sep 09 
A wondrously grim fairy tale.
The only fairytale I can think of more gruesome is the King James Bible.
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PARANORMAL ACTIVITY
 Release: Sep 09 - Review: 14 Oct 09
Pants Not Normal Activity.
...works on the premise elucidated by Stephen King: don't show the monsters.
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PARANORMAL ENTITY
 Release: Dec 09 - Review: 23 Aug 10
Paranormal En-titty.
I watched PARANORMAL ENTITY at night and I was not able to sleep afterwards. I was laughing that hard.
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PASSENGER 57
 Release: Nov 92 - Review: 2 Feb 10
Plain Plane Pain.
Wesley must use his patented Wesley Kwon Do to bring down the bad guys and the plane efficiently.
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THE
PASSION OF THE CHRIST
 Release: Aug 04 - Review: 7 Apr 09 
The Bashin' of The Christ.
Yeah, this is what all those other Jesus movies have been missing - the TORTURE. If you’re gonna bash Jesus, you might as well bash him right.
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PATHS OF GLORY
 Release:
Oct 57 - Review: 20 Jun 09
Paths of Gory.
... an outraged, frustrated scream against the duplicity, mendacity, idiocy, inhumaneness and ingloriousness of war.
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PEACEMAKER
Release: Sep 97 - Review: 18 Dec 05
The Cheesemaker.
Meanwhile, something of world-shaking import is happening - but
in Nuclear Threat movies I can never quite scare up the interest to find out what.
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PEARL HARBOR
Release: May 01 - Review: 21 Jun 09
Pearl Before Swine.
PEARL HARBOR digs deep below the surface of the gasoline embargoes and jingoistic fomenting and reveals exactly what this WWII conflict was all about - the love triangle between three young American Models.
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 | PEOPLE
I KNOW
Release: Apr 03 - Review: 22 Jul 06
Who You Don't Know
Could Kill You.
Something happens after the
first hour of PEOPLE I KNOW - it gets interesting.
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A PERFECT GETAWAY
Release: Aug 09 - Review: 2 Feb 10
Sunny, with a chance of homicide.
...a tension-soaked thriller that ratchets suspense not unlike a junior Hitchcock or Tarantino.
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| | THE
PERFECT SCORE
Release: Jan 04 - Review: 14 Aug 05
Plan Teen From
Outer Space.
It's the Focus Group ruling that
No Teen Model Shall Be Seen Cheating, so everyone with a hot butt comes to some
inane reconciliation with their inadequacies...
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PERFECT WORLD
Release: Nov 93 - Review: 24 Jul 06
A Perfect Vision
of an Imperfect World.
Nature versus nurture.
Fathers versus sons. Justice versus The Law. T-bones versus tater tots.
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Release: Jul 96 - Review: 5 Jan 07 
Battlefield Iowa.
With his newfound powers, Travolta still can't find an inane excuse
to dance in this film...
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PHILADELPHIA
Release:
Dec 93 - Review: 29 Apr 10
Lawyers cutting back door deals.
This wasn't a gay character to laugh at, this was a gay character to empathize with, as it is driven home that "gays are human too" with Beckett's family, friends, his intelligence, work ethic, musical tastes and big gay loverboy...
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PI
 Release: Jul 98 - Review: 12 Oct 08
Uneasy as Pi.
There is something genius lurking its way to the surface in Darren Aronofsky's PI - but it gets sidetracked with hallucinatory drugs.
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PINEAPPLE EXPRESS
Release: Aug 08 - Review: 26 Jul 09
The Fast Track to Brotherly J.
Is PINEAPPLE EXPRESS just another "bromance": two immature boy-stoners who can't forge a "real" relationship with a female, so run around holding hands, on the lam from drug dealers? Well, the "bromosexual" tag (although hilarious) doesn't do this film justice...
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PINK FLOYD: THE WALL
Release: Aug 82 - Review: 18 Apr 10
"Banging your heart against some mad bugger's wall..."
PINK FLOYD: THE WALL is the movie of the album that hit us right between the teens, embedded in the darkest crouch of our gargoyle brains.
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PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN: CURSE OF THE BLACK PEARL
Release: Jul 03 - Review: 16 Dec 09
Shiver me fey timbers.
...as entertaining as it is ambitious, as rollicking as it is ridiculous, as boyish-action-movie as it is gender-bendingly-ambiguous.
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 | PIRATES
OF THE CARIBBEAN: DEAD MAN'S CHEST
Release: Jun 06 - Review: 17 Jul 06
Captain Jack will
get you high tonight...
... a hedonistic bombast
of swashbuckling high-sea hijinks, sun-seared tropical environs, intricately-designed
ocean-creature monsters and eyeliner enough to embarrass a prostitute.
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 | PIRATES
OF THE CARIBBEAN: AT WORLD'S END
Release: May 07 - Review: 16 Jun 07
Jack-ing the Sparrow.
...the rascally diversion of the PIRATES series has turned
into a MUST-EARN overblown bombast of money-raking white noise consumerism.
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PLANET 51
Release: Nov 09 - Review: 21 Mar 10
He who sips from many cups, drinks from none.
...glop of as many nudge-nudge wink-wink cultural references as cartoonly possible in an uninvolving 91-minute chase movie.
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| | PLANET
OF THE APES 2001
Release: Jul 01 - Review: Aug 01 
Marky Mark's PLANET OF THE APES.
This truly IS the planet of the
apes. “Taking it back” is as ludicrous as a bunch of apes landing on
earth in 2001 and causing trouble with their overacting and advanced technology
and hairy anuses.
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 | PLAY
MISTY FOR ME
Release: Nov 71 - Review: 25 Aug 06
A Legend's Misty
Origin.
In 1971, at 41, Clint Eastwood confidently
flaunts his directing debut with PLAY MISTY FOR ME - at an age when most
actors these days are contemplating which reality show to make asses of themselves
on.
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POINT BREAK
Release: Jul 91 - Review: 15 Sep 09
Keanu and Patrick's Excellent Adventure.
POINT BREAK does actually skim along like a greased board on Hawaiian neckbreakers, never letting us out of its action grip, or its bro-tastic overacting and über-cheese one-liners.
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THE POKER CLUB
Release: Oct 08 - Review: 19 Jul 09
Poker Haunt Us.
...the most fun you can have watching a poker movie without actually watching a poker movie.
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 | THE
PRESTIGE
Release: Oct 06 - Review: 6 Dec 06
Nolan's Real Magic.
THE PRESTIGE is an egomaniac that criss-crosses veins of
intrigue and misdirection, pumping you breathless with half-lies and false truths
until its powerful climax.
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PRESTO
Release: Jul 08 - Review: 22 Jul 08
Funny Hunger.
A magician, his magic top hat and his desperately cute and hungry rabbit.
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THE PROPOSAL
Release: Jun 09 - Review: 7 Nov 09
I Do. Not.
Predictable? Check. Funny? Check. Cute little white dog named Kevin? Check. So we know what to expect from this crap going in.
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THE PROPOSITION
Release:
Feb 06 - Review: 21 Feb 09
Brutal, Bloody, Beautiful.
THE PROPOSITION is filth and dust and blood, punishing Outback heat bleeding off the screen; a land so untamed it spawns lawmen as sociopathic as the lawbreakers they pursue.
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PUBLIC ENEMIES
Release: Jul 09 - Review: 26 Mar 10
Small time crooks painted larger than the criminals in any given corporation.
An insipid telling of the fast life and crooked times of America's first Public Enemy Number 1, John Dillinger.
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PURPLE RAIN
Release: Jul 84 - Review: 9 Mar 10
Hendrix's Purple Phoenix Writ Large.
PURPLE RAIN has become a bemusing dichotomy - a dull, clichéd, formulaic storyline sprinkled liberally with the most innovative pop songs of its time.
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 | THE
PURSUIT OF HAPPYNESS
Release:
Dec 06 - Review: 4 Jan 07
Dispiritying, Disheartenying,
Distressying.
...though its intent is to be
a "feel-good" movie, it goes awry in its execution, paying such sadistic
detail to every mishap, misfortune and misstep of its hero that it loses all semblance
of entertainment.
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