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PAM AND TOMMY LEE: HARDCORE & UNCENSORED
 
Release: 1998 - Review: 24 Nov 09
White Trash Circus.
Pamela Anderson and Tommy Lee naked. Like we haven't seen that before.
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PAN'S LABYRINTH
 
Release: Jan 07 - Review: 24 Sep 09
A wondrously grim fairy tale.
The only fairytale I can think of more gruesome is the King James Bible.
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PANDORUM
Release: Sep 09 - Review: 10 Jun 11
Pablum-orum.
PANDORUM is One Great Idea subsumed by all the bloodied action and trapped-in-space mayhem and frenzied filmstock required to hold a modern audience's attention.
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THE PANIC IN NEEDLE PARK
Release: Oct 71 - Review: 15 Sep 11
Just say (Paci)NO.
Before THE GODFATHER, there was an actor called Al Pacino.
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PARANORMAL ACTIVITY
Release: Sep 09 - Review: 14 Oct 09
Pants Not Normal Activity.
...works on the premise elucidated by Stephen King: don't show the monsters.
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PARANORMAL ACTIVITY 2
Release: Oct 10 - Review: 14 Sep 11
Are We Scare Yet?
The problem with PARANORMAL ACTIVITY 2 is that it's already been done - far better - by its own predecessor. It was innovative ONCE. Fool us twice, shame on us.
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PARANORMAL ENTITY
Release: Dec 09 - Review: 23 Aug 10
Paranormal En-titty.
I watched PARANORMAL ENTITY at night and I was not able to sleep afterwards. I was laughing that hard.
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PASSENGER 57
Release: Nov 92 - Review: 2 Feb 10
Plain Plane Pain.
Wesley must use his patented Wesley Kwon Do to bring down the bad guys and the plane efficiently.
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THE
PASSION OF THE CHRIST
 
Release: Aug 04 - Review: 7 Apr 09
The Bashin' of The Christ.
Yeah, this is what all those other Jesus movies have been missing - the TORTURE. If you’re gonna bash Jesus, you might as well bash him right.
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PATHS OF GLORY
Release:
Oct 57 - Review: 20 Jun 09
Paths of Gory.
... an outraged, frustrated scream against the duplicity, mendacity, idiocy, inhumaneness and ingloriousness of war.
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PAUL
Release: Mar 11 - Review: 14 Aug 11
Kind Encounters of the Close Third.
It's a buddy comedy of the crude kind, a road movie of the chase kind, a close encounter of the third kind!
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PAUL BLART MALL COP
Release: Jan 09 - Review: 22 Apr 11
DIE HARD with a Segway.
Kevin James is as funny as he can possibly be in PAUL BLART MALL COP - which means it's a dull, uninspiring comedy that relies on him falling down and being fat a lot.
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THE
PEACEMAKER
Release: Sep 97 - Review: 18 Dec 05
The Cheesemaker.
Meanwhile, something of world-shaking import is happening - but
in Nuclear Threat movies I can never quite scare up the interest to find out what.
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PEARL HARBOR
Release: May 01 - Review: 21 Jun 09
Pearl Before Swine.
PEARL HARBOR digs deep below the surface of the gasoline embargoes and jingoistic fomenting and reveals exactly what this WWII conflict was all about - the love triangle between three young American Models.
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PEOPLE
I KNOW
Release: Apr 03 - Review: 22 Jul 06
Who You Don't Know
Could Kill You.
Something happens after the
first hour of PEOPLE I KNOW - it gets interesting.
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A PERFECT GETAWAY
Release: Aug 09 - Review: 2 Feb 10
Sunny, with a chance of homicide.
...a tension-soaked thriller that ratchets suspense not unlike a junior Hitchcock or Tarantino.
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THE
PERFECT SCORE
Release: Jan 04 - Review: 14 Aug 05
Plan Teen From
Outer Space.
It's the Focus Group ruling that
No Teen Model Shall Be Seen Cheating, so everyone with a hot butt comes to some
inane reconciliation with their inadequacies...
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A
PERFECT WORLD
Release: Nov 93 - Review: 24 Jul 06
A Perfect Vision
of an Imperfect World.
Nature versus nurture.
Fathers versus sons. Justice versus The Law. T-bones versus tater tots.
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PHENOMENON
Release: Jul 96 - Review: 5 Jan 07
Battlefield Iowa.
With his newfound powers, Travolta still can't find an inane excuse
to dance in this film...
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PHILADELPHIA
Release:
Dec 93 - Review: 29 Apr 10
Lawyers cutting back door deals.
This wasn't a gay character to laugh at, this was a gay character to empathize with, as it is driven home that "gays are human too" with Beckett's family, friends, his intelligence, work ethic, musical tastes and big gay loverboy...
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PI
Release: Jul 98 - Review: 12 Oct 08
Uneasy as Pi.
There is something genius lurking its way to the surface in Darren Aronofsky's PI - but it gets sidetracked with hallucinatory drugs.
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PINEAPPLE EXPRESS
Release: Aug 08 - Review: 26 Jul 09
The Fast Track to Brotherly J.
Is PINEAPPLE EXPRESS just another "bromance": two immature boy-stoners who can't forge a "real" relationship with a female, so run around holding hands, on the lam from drug dealers? Well, the "bromosexual" tag (although hilarious) doesn't do this film justice...
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PINK FLOYD: THE WALL
Release: Aug 82 - Review: 18 Apr 10
"Banging your heart against some mad bugger's wall..."
PINK FLOYD: THE WALL is the movie of the album that hit us right between the teens, embedded in the darkest crouch of our gargoyle brains.
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PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN: CURSE OF THE BLACK PEARL
Release: Jul 03 - Review: 16 Dec 09
Shiver me fey timbers.
...as entertaining as it is ambitious, as rollicking as it is ridiculous, as boyish-action-movie as it is gender-bendingly-ambiguous.
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PIRATES
OF THE CARIBBEAN: DEAD MAN'S CHEST
Release: Jun 06 - Review: 17 Jul 06
Captain Jack will
get you high tonight...
... a hedonistic bombast
of swashbuckling high-sea hijinks, sun-seared tropical environs, intricately-designed
ocean-creature monsters and eyeliner enough to embarrass a prostitute.
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PIRATES
OF THE CARIBBEAN: AT WORLD'S END
Release: May 07 - Review: 16 Jun 07
Jack-ing the Sparrow.
...the rascally diversion of the PIRATES series has turned
into a MUST-EARN overblown bombast of money-raking white noise consumerism.
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PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN: ON STRANGER TIDES
Release: May 11 - Review: 24 Nov 11
Yo ho ho and a bottle of Rum Diary.
Ironic that the story in this aged and worn PIRATES - is the quest for the fountain of youth.
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