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SALT
 
Release: Jul 10 - Review: 29 Dec 10
DIE HARD With a Vagina.
A bunch of guys chase after Angelina Jolie. So what's new?
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SANDS
OF IWO JIMA
 
Release: Dec 49 - Review: 24 Nov 06
Jingo All The Way.
...thirty-something teenagers with clean shirts and Christian mouths
storm battlegrounds where they die operatically from bullets that don't make exit
wounds...
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THE SANTA SUIT
Release: Dec 10 - Review: 3 Jan 11
Cognitive dissonance retained for one more year...
Kevin Sorbo (HERCULES) dons another mystical suit and battles evil (corporate America).
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SAVING PRIVATE RYAN
 
Release: Jul 98 - Review: 25 Aug 10
A Spielberg fantasy done horribly right.
After the surety of hand he displayed with disturbing violence in his Holocaust epic SCHINDLER'S LIST (1993), director Steven Spielberg turns his camera on a very American World War II story.
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SAW
Release: Oct 04 - Review: 25 Dec 08
To Die For.
...the original SAW displays a depth to its cutting edges that raises it miles above the average bear-trap nipple-twister.
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SAW II
Release: Oct 05 - Review: 12 Oct 09
Seen It Once, SAW It Again...
After this grand opening, though, SAW II (co-witten by SAW's writer, Leigh Whannell and the director, Darren Lynn Bousman) is on a tricycle downhill.
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SAW III
Release: Oct 06 - Review: 29 Oct 09
Now it's just painful.
Okay, now it's officially gratuitous. SAW III begins the ruination of the SAW franchise.
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THE
SCHOOL OF ROCK
 
Release: Sep 03 - Review: 12 Aug 05
Tenacious D's Boy-Thunder
Rides Hellacious and Raises The Goblet Of Rock.
Black
trod that knife-edge between sociopath and savior, milking the storyline like
a blue-ribbon set of udders, for the pleasure of rock burnouts of the Alice Cooper
generation.
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SECRETARY
Release: Nov 02 - Review: 13 Apr 10
The Love That Dares Speak Its Name.
Sado-masochism. Not easily understood. Too gutless to speaketh Its Taboo Name. Something so wrong - so right.
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SEMI-PRO
 
Release: Feb 08 - Review: 28 Dec 11
SEMI-PRO is Mostly Amateur.
Will Ferrell shoots for another absurdist hoop and misses.
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THE
SENTINEL
Release: Apr 06 - Review: 26 Apr 06
Running Fast but Standing Still.
...an unevenly
entertaining, bucking and diving, dodging and weaving affair, which intermittently
excels when it relaxes its grip on trying to be too hip.
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SEVEN POUNDS
Release: Dec 08 - Review: 15 Jun 09
Heavy.
It's Shakespearean, it's Biblical; it's a story that rivals the most tragic star-crossed lovers' tales of the ages and makes the grandest Hollywood romances look downright HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL.
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SEX & THE CITY
Release:
May 08 - Review: 1 Jun 10
High Maintenance Harridans.
Four ugly women bitch and moan about men. The End.
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SHALLOW
HAL
Release:
Nov 01 - Review: Jul 05
When Fat is
Phat and Hot is Not
...a snide wink to the hotties
in the audience that if the fatties and quadriplegics onscreen are amenable to
"laughing at themselves" then we can laugh AT them also...
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SHERLOCK HOLMES 2009
Release: Dec 09 - Review: 21 Nov 10
The Adventure of the Hero's Rebirth.
...not quite a reimagining of Sir Arthur Conan Doyle's infamous British detective; more like a punch in the face. An analytical punch in the face.
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SHOOT 'EM UP
Release: Sep 07 - Review: 4 Dec 08
Love it. Hate it. You won't fall asleep.
I mean, really! How sensible do you think a movie called SHOOT 'EM UP could possibly be?
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SHOOTER
Release: Mar 07 - Review: 2 Apr 07
Shooter is Sharp
but Misses the Marky.
...achieves that sensible
balance between action, political skullduggery, pretty orange explosions and Mark
Wahlberg's big guns (and I don't mean his military sniper rifles)...
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SHUTTER ISLAND
Release: Feb 10 - Review: 3 Jul 11
Just dropped in - to see what condition my conditon was in...
SHUTTER ISLAND is not "scary," but creepy, disturbing and filled with enough tension and intrigue to drown a plush toy.
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SICKO
 
Release: Jul 07 - Review: 18 Jul 07
In Sickness and In Wealth.
SICKO plants the seed of dissent in another area of our lives we’ve regarded with complacency – an aspect we’ve been programmed to believe is doing us right even as it does us morbidly wrong.
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SIGNS
Release:
Aug 02 - Review: 4 Apr 09
Cream of the Crop Circles.
...a beautifully crafted lesson in film "making"; creative angles, smart reveals, subtle foreshadowing, tension-filled tableaus, nuanced humor. No frame wasted, no scene superfluous, no Night un-Shyamalaned.
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THE SIMPSONS MOVIE
Release: Jul 07 - Review: 17 Jan 09
Call of the Simpsons.
THE SIMPSONS MOVIE is pretty much a SIMPSONS television episode. No better, no worse. Just longer.
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SINGLE WHITE FEMALE
Release: Aug 92 - Review: 23 Apr 11
When Roommates Go Tribade.
But seriously, who wouldn't stalk Bridget Fonda?
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SKY
HIGH
Release: Jul 05 - Review: 2 Oct 05
The Bastard Offspring
of John Hughes and Joel Schumacher.
...elevates
the hormonally-drenched pseudo-problems of libidinous, over-privileged, studiously-hip
teens to the import of a United Nations Symposium on Global Oil Embargos...
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SKYLINE
Release: Nov 10 - Review: 6 Sep 11
Invasion of the Puerile People Eaters.
Not again! Aliens invade Los Angeles! And this time - they're not Mexican.
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SLEEPER
Release: Dec 73 - Review: 18 Apr 10
OrwelliAllen.
Woody Allen pays slapstick homage to Charlie Chaplin in this futuristic satire on totalitarian societies.
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SLUMDOG MILLIONAIRE
Release: Jan 09 - Review: 1 Mar 09
Hip to be Slumdog.
Pommie Danny Boyle's kinetic vision, from the screaming slums of Bombay-soon-to-be-Mumbai; vibrant, shimmering, frenetic - but thank god no smell, otherwise the "ooweh" vomit sound...
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SMOKIN'
ACES
Release: Jan 07 - Review: 11 Feb 07
It's a mad mad
mad mad assassination.
There is more unnecessary
dialog here than in the Pam and Tommy sex tape.
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SNATCH
Release: Jan 01- Review: 5 Sep 06
SNATCH
will grab.
...SNATCH is a Molotov
cocktail of a movie; a careening, chain-wielding maniac of a film.
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SNOW WHITE AND THE SEVEN DWARFS
Release: Dec 37 - Review: 17 Jul 11
Idiotic romance, annoying choirs, dwarfed by mind-blowing animation.
... a magnificent technical achievement, setting the bar for the industry the world over. And it is still a marvel to view.
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THE SOCIAL NETWORK
Release: Oct 10 - Review: 20 Feb 11
Revenge of the Nerd.
Eisenberg is boy-genius Mark Zuckerberg, creator of the most insidious computer virus since electricity was invented - Facebook.
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THE SOLOIST
Release: Apr 09 - Review: 29 Oct 09
Biting The Hand That Exploits You.
Nathaniel Ayers is not a genius in any sense of the word. Still, in Hollywood, you don't have to be a genius to make it - just have a story worth telling.
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SOMETHING THE LORD MADE
Release: May 04 - Review: 30 Dec 09
I Heart Heart Surgery.
...addresses an aspect so embedded in our modern culture we take it for granted - the story of the first heart bypass surgeries.
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SOMETHING'S GOTTA GIVE
Release: Dec 03 - Review: 13 Aug 10
Something's gotta give - Jack's heart, Diane's hips, or my patience.
The young audience who usually falls for romantic fluff don't really want to see their grandparents grinding. And the old folk for whom this movie resonates should know better.
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THE SONG OF BERNADETTE
Release: Dec 43 - Review: 27 Jul 08
Song Sung Kazoo.
One of humanity’s greatest miracles: a miracle that the world heeded an 1858 French peasant nutjob, Bernadette Soubirous, who claimed to have seen 18 “visions” of Virgin Mary near Lourdes...
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THE SONG REMAINS THE SAME
Release: Oct 76 - Review: 24 Nov 10
The Piper's calling you to join him...
Enigmatic, visceral, inspiring, Led Zeppelin's 1976 concert film at Madison Square Garden remains a towering monolith by which all other concert films are measured.
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THE
SOPRANOS SEASON 3-30: EMPLOYEE OF THE MONTH
Release: Feb 01 - Review: 19 Mar 01
The Anti-Social Truth behind the Socially-Acceptable Fiction.
...touched upon that raw nerve that
scares society into viewing itself as it really is; where
Justice is truly only a euphemism for revenge.
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THE
SOPRANOS SEASON 3-32: UNIVERSITY
Release: Feb 01 - Review: 3 Apr 01
Bringing True Violence to the Simulated Screen.
...the nature of True Violence is explored graphically, in a story constructed with such
precious care that it impacts our atrophied sensibilities
in the most livid manner.
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THE
SOPRANOS SEASON 3-38: AMOUR FOU
Release: Feb 01 - Review: 3 Apr 01
Women Be Crazy.
Only
women can get away with the brainlessness they so openly
exhibit toward men - whenever a woman does so, its extremity
is in direct correlation with how self-important and attractive
she believes herself to be.
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A SOUND OF THUNDER
Release: Sep 05 - Review: 24 Nov 09
A Sound of Chunder.
... for which Bradbury should sue the pants and underpants and ass-hairs off these filmmakers.
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SOURCE CODE
Release: Apr 11 - Review: 6 May 11
Riding the Lightning Across the (Parallel) Universe.
DONNIE DARKO brings his penchant for skipping across parallel universes to the twisted love-child of INCEPTION and GROUNDHOG DAY.
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SPACE
COWBOYS
Release: Aug 2000 - Review: 17 Jan 06
American Hero Sandwich.
Eastwood explores - through his laconic wit and casually-paced,
character-driven style - exactly what makes these implausible candidates for this
mission such plausible Heroes.
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SPANGLISH
 
Release: Dec 04 - Review: 1 Jan 06
Renaissance Sandler.
Boy Sandler actually portrays a Real Human in SPANGLISH
- a well-rounded, successful husband and father, as far removed from any of his
other roles as Rob Schneider is from comedy.
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THE SPECIAL RELATIONSHIP
Release: May 10 - Review: 24 Jun 10
Blair and Bubba: A Love Story.
A touching bromance between two heads of state.
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SPECIES
Release: Jul 95 - Review: 28 Jun 09
Darwin never looked so good.
It's ALIEN with a spectacular pair of natural knockers.
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SPEED
Release: Jun 94 - Review: 14 Feb 10
Driving Miss Dazey.
We could complain about the unreality of taking hard right turns at 50 mph, or the physics impossibility of a laden bus jumping a freeway chasm without an approach ramp, or the fact that Keanu couldn't possibly consider his performance "acting" - but everyone's just having way too much fun.
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SPIDER-MAN
2002
Release: May 02 - Review: Jun 02
Hangin' With
The Big Boys.
SPIDER-MAN joins the pantheon of
underpanted heroes whom the movie forum has portrayed as mightily as their bulging
quadriceps...
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SPIDER-MAN
2
Release: Jun 04 - Review: 6 Feb 07
Spider Sense-tingling.
Grander, faster, slicker than its predecessor, director Sam Raimi's SPIDER-MAN 2 is more action-packed, more thrill-rided, more rollercoastered
than SPIDER-MAN...
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SPIDER-MAN
3
Release: May 07 - Review: 20 May 07
Really Swingin'.
...a swingin' soiree; a chill-er thriller ladykiller that tops
both its previous incarnations with smooth-headed, web-spangling adventure and
vibrant, flesh-colored emotion.
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SPLICE
Release: Jun 10 - Review: 13 Feb 11
Hunting Humans.
A gene-spliced organism causes havoc for the two scientists who created it, due to the organism's predatory nature and the way it was created with the unethical splicing of human genes... but mostly because it looks like a hot naked French model.
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