23 titles
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TAKEN
Release: Jan 09 - Review: 2 Jun 09

TAKEN for a thrill-ride.

Liam Neeson has always stood up for what's right (as Oskar Schindler, as Rob Roy, Michael Collins, hell, even as Qui-Gon Jinn) - but he's never been so BADASS about it.
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TEAM AMERICA WORLD POLICE
Release: Oct 04 - Review: 25 May 09

Be afraid. Be very afraid. Of the heroes.

TEAM AMERICA WORLD POLICE: saving the world from terrorism... whether we like it or not. It's like THUNDERBIRDS for assholes.
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TENACIOUS D: THE COMPLETE MASTERWORKS
Release: Nov 03 - Review: 20 Aug 05

Once every hundred-thousand years or so, when the sun doth shine and the moon doth glow…

Tenacious D have become their own self-fulfilling prophecy: in satirically proclaiming they would "change the face of rock" - they have!
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TENACIOUS D IN THE PICK OF DESTINY
Release: Nov 06 - Review: 2 May 07

Fueled by Rocket Sauce… oh, and Satan.

Displace one 'fuck' and there would be diminishment; displace one 'suck my cock' and the structure would fall.
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THE TERMINAL
Release: Jun 04 - Review: 11 Sep 05

In-Terminal-ble
.
...one has to beat oneself about the head to comprehend how the world's arguably greatest director and the world's arguably greatest actor ever acceded to participating in this mundane project.
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THE TERMINATOR
Release: Oct 84 - Review: 24 May 09

Rise of the Machine (i.e. Arnold).

Arnold Schwarzenegger as a killing machine with no emotions, big guns belching, outlandish feats of body strength, delivering his lines in a sinister, robotic monotone -- hang on, that could be any of his movies.
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THANK YOU FOR SMOKING
Release: Mar 06 - Review: 26 May 06

Black Lung Satire.

...illustrates that the obstacles to truth are sometimes the very people exhorting you to seek it.
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THAT THING YOU DO!
Release: Oct 1996 - Review: 30 Sep 03

That Thing Done Well is a Thing of Beauty Indeed.

...full credit goes to Hanks for crafting a vehicle in which he stars, that he is not the star of, focusing on the rise and fall of a rock group ensconced in British Invasion-era America.
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THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Release: Jan 08 - Review: 10 Dec 08

Bloody Awesome.
Without Day-Lewis, writer-director Paul Thomas Anderson's tale of a ruthless oil baron would simply be a very good movie, rather than a steel-toed boot to the groin and a good cry on the shoulder of a wild west hooker.
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TIMELINE
Release: Nov 03 - Review: 21 Jul 05

Space-Time Continuum SAVED by Surfer Dude & Community Theatre Actress.
Paul Walker's onscreen presence is constantly overpowered by any day-player, mule or piece of rock which accidentally shares the screen with him.
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TITANIC
Release: Dec 97 - Review: 3 May 06

The King Of The World meets The Bitch Of The Sea.

A well-made, mind-numbing romance this cheesy usually scores low - but Cameron gained his points purely due to his magnificent boat-tipping.
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TOMBSTONE
Release: Dec 93 - Review: 22 May 08

When the West Was Huckleberry.

The Pulp Fiction of westerns, with its vivid dialog and firestorm set pieces.
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TOMMY
Release: Mar 75 - Review: 29 Jul 06

Rock God as Singing Savior.

... simultaneously an electrifying musical monolith and a descent into drug-induced kookiness.
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TOY STORY
Release: Nov 95 - Review: 1 May 06

Plastic Fantastic.

...succeeds on all levels - in its animation, storyline, character development, its messages of friendship and self-realization and, most importantly, its entertainment value.
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TRANSFORMERS
Release: Jul 07 - Review: 1 Aug 08

More Than Meets The Eye-Strain.

Though the detail is astounding on these robots, it’s ocular candy to the myocardial infarction degree. Yeh, my eyes hurt.
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TREKKIES 2
Release: Apr 04 - Review: 26 Feb 06

Where Girlfriends Fear to Tread.

You need not watch Trekkies to understand Trekkies 2. No sense in hurting your intelligence lobe twice in the same area.
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TRISTAN + ISOLDE
Release: Jan 06 - Review: 19 Jun 09

ROMEO AND JULIET meets mincing BRAVEHEART.

TRISTAN AND ISOLDE, reimagined yet again for a modern audience, with a blond babe sporting tresses slapping her backside and James Franco flexing his muscles as much as possible.
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TROPIC THUNDER
Release: Aug 08 - Review: 28 Feb 09

Bringing the Thunder.

As gut-wrenching as APOCALYPSE, as heartfelt as RYAN, and as filthy as fuck, TROPIC THUNDER is another in the small oeuvre of Ben Stiller writer-director-actor comedies where Stiller goes "full retard" for maximum satirical jungle juice.
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TROY
Release: May 04 - Review: 19 Oct 05

The Achilliad.

All bronzed bicep, leonine mane and CG soldiery, Troy is a glut-fest of regal posturing and battle-flavored man-stench.
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THE TRUMAN SHOW
Release: Jun 98 - Review: 31 Dec 06

Masterpiece in a Microcosm.

Written by Andrew Niccol in an audacious fit of prescience, Truman Burbank (Carrey) is an unsuspecting pawn in the most ambitious reality show ever conceived...
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THE TRUTH ABOUT CATS AND DOGS
Release: Apr 96 - Review: 18 May 07

No Truth in
Cats and Dogs
.
Re-telling of the age-old Cyrano tale with Janeane Garofalo as The Nose and Uma Thurman as The Bod.
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THE TV WHEEL
Release: 1995 - Review: 24 Apr 04


Pure Joel, Pure Genius

...may not be wholly original, but the energy and creativity Joel brought to this simple concept outweighed any kind of composite plagiarism.
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TWISTER
Release: May 96 - Review: 24 Jul 08

Twister Blows.

... trying to throw an aluminum thingy filled with little aluminum thingies into a tornado. They say it’s to research these natural disasters. Cue joke about this movie being natural disaster. 
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