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TAKEN
 Release: Jan 09 - Review: 2 Jun 09 
TAKEN for a thrill-ride.
Liam Neeson has always stood up for what's right (as Oskar Schindler, as Rob Roy, Michael Collins, hell, even as Qui-Gon Jinn) - but he's never been so BADASS about it.
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TEAM AMERICA WORLD POLICE
 Release: Oct 04 - Review: 25 May 09 
Be afraid. Be very afraid. Of the heroes.
TEAM AMERICA WORLD POLICE: saving the world from terrorism... whether we like it or not. It's like THUNDERBIRDS for assholes.
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| | TENACIOUS
D: THE COMPLETE MASTERWORKS
 Release:
Nov 03 - Review: 20 Aug 05 
Once every hundred-thousand
years or so, when the sun doth shine and the moon doth glow…
Tenacious D have become their own self-fulfilling prophecy: in
satirically proclaiming they would "change the face of rock" - they
have!
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 | TENACIOUS
D IN THE PICK OF DESTINY
Release: Nov 06 - Review: 2 May 07
Fueled by Rocket
Sauce… oh, and Satan.
Displace one 'fuck'
and there would be diminishment; displace one 'suck my cock' and the structure
would fall.
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| | THE
TERMINAL
Release: Jun 04 - Review: 11 Sep 05
In-Terminal-ble.
...one
has to beat oneself about the head to comprehend how the world's arguably greatest
director and the world's arguably greatest actor ever acceded to participating
in this mundane project.
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THE TERMINATOR
Release: Oct 84 - Review: 24 May 09
Rise of the Machine (i.e. Arnold).
Arnold Schwarzenegger as a killing machine with no emotions, big guns belching, outlandish feats of body strength, delivering his lines in a sinister, robotic monotone -- hang on, that could be any of his movies.
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 | THANK
YOU FOR SMOKING
Release: Mar 06 - Review: 26 May 06
Black Lung Satire.
...illustrates that the obstacles to truth are sometimes the very
people exhorting you to seek it.
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| | THAT
THING YOU DO!
Release:
Oct 1996 - Review: 30 Sep 03
That Thing Done
Well is a Thing of Beauty Indeed.
...full credit
goes to Hanks for crafting a vehicle in which he stars, that he is not the star
of, focusing on the rise and fall of a rock group ensconced in British Invasion-era
America.
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THERE WILL BE BLOOD
 Release: Jan 08 - Review: 10 Dec 08
Bloody Awesome.
Without Day-Lewis, writer-director Paul Thomas Anderson's tale of a ruthless oil baron would simply be a very good movie, rather than a steel-toed boot to the groin and a good cry on the shoulder of a wild west hooker.
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| | TIMELINE
Release: Nov 03 - Review: 21 Jul 05
Space-Time
Continuum SAVED by Surfer Dude & Community Theatre Actress.
Paul Walker's onscreen presence is constantly overpowered by any
day-player, mule or piece of rock which accidentally shares the screen with him.
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 | TITANIC
Release: Dec 97 - Review: 3 May 06
The King Of The
World meets The Bitch Of The Sea.
A well-made,
mind-numbing romance this cheesy usually scores low - but Cameron gained his points
purely due to his magnificent boat-tipping.
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TOMBSTONE
Release: Dec 93 - Review: 22 May 08
When the West Was Huckleberry.
The Pulp Fiction of westerns, with its vivid dialog and firestorm set pieces.
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 | TOMMY
Release: Mar 75 - Review: 29 Jul 06
Rock God as Singing
Savior.
... simultaneously an electrifying
musical monolith and a descent into drug-induced kookiness.
TOP |
 | TOY
STORY
Release: Nov 95 - Review: 1 May 06
Plastic Fantastic.
...succeeds on all levels - in its animation, storyline, character
development, its messages of friendship and self-realization and, most importantly,
its entertainment value.
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TRANSFORMERS
 Release: Jul 07 - Review: 1 Aug 08
More Than Meets The Eye-Strain.
Though the detail is astounding on these robots, it’s ocular candy to the myocardial infarction degree. Yeh, my eyes hurt.
TOP |
 | TREKKIES
2
Release: Apr 04 - Review: 26 Feb 06
Where Girlfriends
Fear to Tread.
You need not watch Trekkies
to understand Trekkies 2. No sense in hurting your intelligence lobe
twice in the same area.
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TRISTAN + ISOLDE
 Release: Jan 06 - Review: 19 Jun 09 
ROMEO AND JULIET meets mincing BRAVEHEART.
TRISTAN AND ISOLDE, reimagined yet again for a modern audience, with a blond babe sporting tresses slapping her backside and James Franco flexing his muscles as much as possible.
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TROPIC THUNDER
Release: Aug 08 - Review: 28 Feb 09
Bringing the Thunder.
As gut-wrenching as APOCALYPSE, as heartfelt as RYAN, and as filthy as fuck, TROPIC THUNDER is another in the small oeuvre of Ben Stiller writer-director-actor comedies where Stiller goes "full retard" for maximum satirical jungle juice.
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| | TROY
Release: May 04 - Review: 19 Oct 05
The Achilliad.
All bronzed bicep, leonine mane and CG soldiery,
Troy is a glut-fest of regal posturing and battle-flavored man-stench.
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 | THE
TRUMAN SHOW
Release: Jun 98 - Review: 31 Dec 06
Masterpiece in
a Microcosm.
Written by Andrew Niccol in an
audacious fit of prescience, Truman Burbank (Carrey) is an unsuspecting pawn in
the most ambitious reality show ever conceived...
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 | THE
TRUTH ABOUT CATS AND DOGS
Release: Apr 96 - Review: 18 May 07
No Truth in Cats
and Dogs.
Re-telling of the age-old Cyrano tale
with Janeane Garofalo as The Nose and Uma Thurman as The Bod.
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| | THE
TV WHEEL
Release: 1995 - Review: 24 Apr 04
Pure Joel, Pure
Genius
...may not be wholly original, but the
energy and creativity Joel brought to this simple concept outweighed any kind
of composite plagiarism.
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TWISTER
Release: May 96 - Review: 24 Jul 08
Twister Blows.
... trying to throw an aluminum thingy filled with little aluminum thingies into a tornado. They say it’s to research these natural disasters. Cue joke about this movie being natural disaster.
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