RECENT REVIEWS:
Almost daily, Poffy adds movies - old and new - to his
vault of filmic fortitude.
Visit regularly for healthy teeth and toes.
Click to see a list of upcoming reviews, old and new releases...
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BURIED
 
Release: Sep 10 - Review: 31 Jan 12
Grave Trouble.
One actor, one location, one goal: get me the hell outa here!
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BRIDESMAIDS
Release:
May 11 - Review: 21 Jan 11
Marriage of heaven and hell.
BRIDESMAIDS was advertised as being a Chick Flick version of SUPERBAD. Nope. It's just super bad.
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RED RIDING HOOD
 
Release: Mar 11 - Review: 10 Jan 12
Lycan-nope.
...Fear has been leached in favor of the love triangle between three teens. One look at the director of this piece and it all makes sense: Catherine Hardwicke, TWILIGHT. All the better to Chick-Flick you, my dear.
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DYLAN DOG: DEAD OF NIGHT
Release: Apr 11 - Review: 2 Jan 11
Doggy doo.
...Routh is the eponymous paranormal investigator who, like Superman, keeps the peace - between supernatural folk and humans - in begrudging vigilantism.
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WALL STREET: MONEY NEVER SLEEPS
Release: Sep 10 - Review: 27 Dec 11
Freakonomics and Con-sumerism.
Oliver Stone's sequel to that pimping film is just as confusing and hedonistic, with its insider knowledge and corporate thuggery, but set very much in the present of the 2008 economic meltdown.
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THE 99 PERCENT
Release: Dec 11 - Review: 25 Dec 11
When Lambs Become Lions.
...the humble beginnings and audacious flowering of the movement that is blowback for decades of corporate capitalist greed - Occupy Wall Street...
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CONAN THE BARBARIAN 2011
Release: Aug 11 - Review: 19 Dec 11
Muscles, magic, tits and blood.
Like Arnold before him, Momoa perfectly embodies Robert E. Howard's fictional medieval warrior, muscles thrumming, brain on standby, dick locked in the upright position.
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COWBOYS AND ALIENS
Release: Jul 11 - Review: 17 Dec 11
A shallow ripple in the Force.
Is COWBOYS AND ALIENS a boring western movie, or a clichéd alien invasion movie?
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BAD TEACHER
Release: Jun 11 - Review: 12 Dec 11
BAD TEACHER not good.
It's commendable that Cameron Diaz would go to such great lengths to portray someone so despicable and "ugly," but BAD TEACHER doesn't do her any justice, being even more despicable and ugly.
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TRANSFORMERS: DARK OF THE MOON
Release: Jun 11 - Review: 11 Dec 11
Big things breaking bigger things.
I'm sure the budget of TRANSFORMERS: DARK OF THE MOON could wipe out Liberia's deficit, so why can't they afford passable look-alikes for Kennedy and Obama?
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THE CHANGE-UP
Release: Aug 11 - Review: 10 Dec 11
Another change-up, another plage-up.
...the latest mystical body-switching movie from the venal plagiarists in the Hollywood Cookie Cutter Industrial Complex who have the audacity to call themselves writers.
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THE DECLINE OF WESTERN CIVILIZATION PART II: THE METAL YEARS
Release: Aug 89 - Review: 30 Jan 12
The Rise of Aquanetted Civilization: The Ladyboy Years.
Director Penelope Spheeris turns up the volume in her definitive chronicle of the hedonistic 1980's Southern Californian rock scene.
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SEMI-PRO
Release: Feb 08 - Review: 28 Dec 11
SEMI-PRO is Mostly Amateur.
Will Ferrell shoots for another absurdist hoop and misses.
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FOUR CHRISTMASES
Release: Sep 08 - Review: 20 Dec 11
Four times the noxious.
...if this were a wonders-of-christmas movie, it would be bilious enough, but FOUR CHRISTMASES combines the nausea of a christmas movie with the gut-belching dementia of a marriage-is-awesome movie.
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DREAMCATCHER
Release: Mar 03 - Review: 18 Oct 11
Same Shit Different Director.
... we palpably feel the tone of King's words in the tense, superbly-mounted first third of this film, and then seasoned King readers will feel it unravel into formulaic dross due to filmmakers who will never be able to grasp the nuances in King's tone.
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SWING VOTE
Release:
Aug 08 - Review: 14 Dec 11
Blockheading the vote.
Plot of SWING VOTE is stupider than a session of the United States Congress...
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ARTHUR
Release: Jul 81 - Review: 9 Dec 11
Little boy booze.
The breezy tale of a wealthy enabled young man who can't do without money - until he realizes money can't buy him what he really can't do without.
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Halloo Fans!
For full list of movies, check the Alpha Archives:
For full list of movies in order of review, visit the scary chronological
list.
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COMING
SOON to Poffy's Movie Mania...
A
list to remind me to finish those sketchy reviews gathering angel dust in my drawers... |
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Reviews in Progress: You can click on the pics to see the unfinished/rough writings that are surfing their way to their spot on this website even as you ogle them...don't expect them to be readable, or even to make any sense - they're just scribblings. Some are so unfinished they're not even posted here... d'oh! But you can see their pretty posters... ah, promises, promises.... hope was the greatest evil in Pandora's Jar.... |
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