AT THE EARTH’S CORE

Poffy The Cucumber

Rotten to the Core. Much like the 1975 film THE LAND THAT TIME FORGOT, Doug McClure once again discovers a prehistoric land AT THE EARTH’S CORE. And he must once again battle unevolved natives and outlandish beasts to survive. However this time, the beasts are not dinosaurs, but actual monsters, ruled over by giant telepathic bird-things (or maybe just guys … Read More

ROCKY

Poffy The Cucumber

The Underdog that became a Stallion. That epic fanfare, a giant name floats across screen – ROCKY. Movie opens in elation, as we fly with Bill Conti’s soon-to-be-immortal theme, Gonna Fly Now, and then suddenly comes crashing to Earth– — a small-time boxing match, a pudgy, young and decidedly graceless boxer belts it out with a bigger truck of a … Read More

KISS | Rock And Roll Over

Jon Dunmore

Rock And Roll Over-coaster. he ramrod powerful 5th studio album from KISS, Rock And Roll Over, puts them over the top. Critically acclaimed, platinum status and #11 on U.S. Billboard charts. Without the Western World realizing it, this band from New York with the painted faces and the firebomb concerts had become, if not the biggest band in the world, … Read More

KISS | Destroyer

Jon Dunmore

Modern day men of steel… y 1976, KISS were superheroes. Just look at the cover of Destroyer. See? It’s true. Destroyer, the fourth KISS studio album, marks the beginning of a new phase in KISS-tory. That phase where the fearsome face-painted foursome from New York (Paul Stanley, Gene Simmons, Ace Frehley, Peter Criss) would become the Biggest Band in the … Read More

THE GREAT HOUDINI

Poffy The Cucumber

The Great Snore-dini. The great magician, escapist and mysteriarch, Harry Houdini (1874-1926), lived such a storied life that it is impossible to capture any semblance of it in the fleeting medium of the feature film. The best we can hope for is Tony Curtis flashing a winning smile or for Johnny Depp to flash a winning bangle, and to then … Read More

NETWORK

Poffy The Cucumber

Don’t get mad – get a News Show. A washed-up newscaster (Peter Finch) is about to be fired from a television network for being over the hill and losing ratings. Until he does something that shocks the network executives, forces the viewing public to take notice, and rockets his ratings. He starts telling the truth. Sidney Lumet’s NETWORK is a … Read More

MIDWAY

Poffy The Cucumber

Midway between “average” and “annoying crap.” MIDWAY opens with a title card: “This is the way it was. The story of the battle that was the turning point of the war in the Pacific. Told wherever possible with actual film shot in combat. It exemplifies the combination of planning, courage, error and pure chance by which great events are often … Read More

THE SONG REMAINS THE SAME

Poffy The Cucumber

The Piper’s calling you to join him… Led Zeppelin’s catalog is a testament to young men and their libidinal drive. — The New Yorker. That’s what rock and roll is all about – being young and horny… Speaking of which, the first time I saw THE SONG REMAINS THE SAME, I spent the night in jail. But that’s another tale… … Read More

ALL THE PRESIDENT’S MEN

Poffy The Cucumber

Fall of the Imperial Presidency. Watergate. Conspiracy. Burglary. Perjury. Courtesy of the 37th President of the United States. Over the years, I’ve called Richard Milhous Nixon a “hellspawn from Satan’s own vagina”… and I see no reason to stop. ALL THE PRESIDENT’S MEN is a powerful recount of specifically one event in Satan’s Vagina’s presidency that would define not just … Read More

KING KONG 1976

Poffy The Cucumber

Ape-tastrophe! In any Ape Movie, the quality of the movie is entirely dependent on the Ape Effects: the original KING KONG (1933) was a revolution in stop-motion special effects; MIGHTY JOE YOUNG (1949) continued that legacy; 1968’s PLANET OF THE APES boasted state-of-the-art creature makeup coupled with attentive simian performances; GREYSTOKE (1984) pushed the limits of performance and makeup with … Read More