ADAM SANDLER: 100% FRESH

Poffy The Cucumber

Fresh – if you’re 12. Adam Sandler used to be a funny standup comedian. I used to love that unsure persona, and the sudden left turns in his gags. This was way back before most of you Adam Sandler fans were Adam Sandler fans (circa 1990). Then came SNL (1990-1995), and numerous movies, some good, most bad; a handful of … Read More

BEFORE I WAKE

Poffy The Cucumber

When dreams come true – run! A couple discovers their adopted 7-year-old boy has dreams that become real. Which means his nightmares do too… BEFORE I WAKE is a solid supernatural thriller, involving young couple Jessie (Kate Bosworth) and Mark (Thomas Jane) adopting enigmatic orphan Cody (Jacob Tremblay), after their own 7-year-old son Sean (Antonio Romero) has died in a … Read More

VICE 2018

Poffy The Cucumber

The Fat Face of Evil.  Thank you to Satan for giving me inspiration on how to play this role. — Christian Bale, on winning Best Actor Golden Globes, for the role of Dick Cheney. VICE is the story of Dick Cheney, following his rise from hell into the White House as George W. Bush’s vice president. Christian Bale is Cheney, … Read More

THE MULE 2018

Poffy The Cucumber

Riches and Redemption on the Cocaine Superhighway. Family’s the most important thing. Don’t do what I did. I put work in front of family. I thought it was more important to be somebody out there, than the failure I was in my own home. I was a terrible father, a terrible husband. I blew my chance. I didn’t deserve forgiveness. … Read More

SPRINGSTEEN ON BROADWAY

Poffy The Cucumber

Springsteen does Dean Martin. In SPRINGSTEEN ON BROADWAY, Robert De Niro talks about his music, his life, his family, his—no wait, that’s Bruce Springsteen. That’s Bruce Springsteen? Call up your mental image of The Boss, from whichever period blows your skirt up: the youthful, scraggly-bearded troubadour, the 80’s rocker with the bandanna and sleeveless denim jacket, the elder statesman on … Read More

A STAR IS BORN 2018

Poffy The Cucumber

It’s all about Who You Nose. We may not be known as The Greatest Generation, but this fourth filmic iteration of A STAR IS BORN, for our generation, is surely the greatest. 42 years after the 1976 version, Bradley Cooper co-writes the movie, directs, stars, plays guitar, plays piano, sings, co-writes the songs, and co-produces… A STAR IS BORN all … Read More

FIRST MAN

Poffy The Cucumber

First Maudlin Man. That’s one small step for man; one giant leap for Mankind. — Neil Armstrong, Apollo 11, June 1969. FIRST MAN is a strange piece of dramatic fiction. Not a biopic; not a historical document. Following Neil Armstrong on his pioneering Apollo 11 Moon landing, instead of a science-driven, or politics-driven docudrama, movie attempts to find an emotional … Read More

BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY

Poffy The Cucumber

The Good, The Bad and the Freddie. Is this the real life? Is this just fantasy? — Queen, “Bohemian Rhapsody.” We may well apply the first lines of Queen’s magnum opus Bohemian Rhapsody to the movie encomium of the same name. There is some biography in BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY (“the real life”), yet much dramatic license (“just fantasy”), with particular focus … Read More

EXTINCTION 2018

Poffy The Cucumber

When A-Actors B-Film. A working class family man is plagued by dreams of alien invasion. One day, his dreams come true. And the question becomes: Can he access those prescient dreams to navigate his family to safety? Then we find out his question was answered – in his past! Movie Maniacs say Wha–? Set in the near future, EXTINCTION is … Read More

BLACKKKLANSMAN

Poffy The Cucumber

Afro-Con Ameri-Klan. All the scientists who worked in and for Germany in the 1930s lived to regret that they directly helped a sociopath like Hitler harm millions of people. Let us not repeat the same mistakes over and over again. ― Piero Scaruffi, software consultant, lecturer, publisher. There’s that CHAPPELLE’S SHOW sketch of the blind black Klansman who didn’t know … Read More

BRAIN ON FIRE

Poffy The Cucumber

Mind Over Mind. BRAIN ON FIRE recounts a true tale of terror – journalist Susannah Cahalan’s battle against Anti-NMDA-Receptor AutoImmune Encephalitis; when your body’s immune system attacks your brain. What a thing! One might be inclined to say, That’s insane! Doesn’t your brain control your immune system? An attack on the citadel by its own populace! It’s unfortunate that such … Read More

ANT-MAN AND THE WASP

Poffy The Cucumber

Quantum Cop-Out! ANT-MAN AND THE WASP cops out on its grandest concept – the quantum realm! In ANT-MAN (2015), Dr. Hank Pym warned Ant-Man not to turn off his regulator, for fear of shrinking too small and entering the Quantum Realm, “…where all concepts of time and space become irrelevant as you shrink for all eternity.” The key phrase – … Read More

THE WEEK OF

Poffy The Cucumber

Everything happening with Nothing going on. In the contrived farce THE WEEK OF, Adam Sandler is Kenny Lustig, a middle class father struggling to cope with the details and cost of hosting his daughter’s wedding, and Chris Rock is Dr. Kirby Cordice, the rich father of the groom, whose help Kenny declines. Longtime collaborators Sandler and director Robert Smigel seem … Read More

SOLO: A STAR WARS STORY

Poffy The Cucumber

Oh Han, where did you Kessel Run to? What we do in life – echoes in eternity. — Russell Crowe as Maximus, GLADIATOR Just how did Han Solo come by his beloved Millennium Falcon? (He told us in Episode IV he won it gambling.) And how did he get his trusty blaster? (Uh, I guess he either bought it, stole … Read More

STEVE MARTIN AND MARTIN SHORT: AN EVENING YOU WILL FORGET FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE

Poffy The Cucumber

Old Hands at Comedy, or just Old Comedy? The aptly-named STEVE MARTIN AND MARTIN SHORT: AN EVENING YOU WILL FORGET FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE is a cavalcade of roasting comedy, political puppetry, jazz anecdotes and bluegrass banjo that you truly will not remember. Comedy legend Steve Martin and comedy somewhat-well-known Martin Short team up for a two-man show, … Read More

KEVIN JAMES: NEVER DON’T GIVE UP

Poffy The Cucumber

Never Don’t Just Watch. Let’s see: if a comedian still hasn’t said anything remotely funny or intriguing or insightful 32 minutes into their set, you can pretty much guarantee the rest of their 1 hour set is going to be just as shallow, unfunny and lame, right? Such is the case with the simpleton humor in KEVIN JAMES: NEVER DON’T … Read More

BLACK PANTHER

Poffy The Cucumber

Black EmPantherment. “Millions of years ago,” Movie narrates to us, “a special effects meteorite made of vibranium – the strongest substance in the universe – struck the special effects continent of Africa. Five special effects arms rise from the soil to represent the Five Tribes that would form the special effects country of Wakanda. A special effects panther god named … Read More

HILARITY FOR CHARITY 2018

Poffy The Cucumber

Mediocrity For Charity. A charity for Alzheimer’s Disease, organized and hosted by Seth Rogen, HILARITY FOR CHARITY is about as funny as Alzheimer’s Disease. Filmed onstage before a live audience at the Hollywood Palladium on March 24, 2018, hosted by Seth Rogen sporting a Noah-beard, HILARITY is an annual cavalcade of standups, pre-taped skits and various eclectic bits, the general … Read More

JESUS CHRIST SUPERSTAR 2018

Poffy The Cucumber

SUPERSTAR falters, as Legend lacks. Poor John Legend! He’s a great soulful rhythm and blues vocalist, a great composer, a great performer; he’s won Oscars, Grammys, Golden Globes and Tonys; he’s a friend to the last great American president, Barack Obama, and he was instrumental in bringing a whole generation to that inspiring 2008 election. He’s a producer, actor and … Read More

CHRIS ROCK: TAMBORINE

Poffy The Cucumber

Bang the Tamborine Slowly… Chris Rock is back! In TAMBORINE, Rock’s 6th standup Special, his pace is a little less panther, his delivery a little less clipped, his demeanor a little less arrogant. The interim since his last Special (KILL THE MESSENGER, 2008) has robbed him of some electric youth and vitality, not least through the hard life lessons learned … Read More