BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY

Poffy The Cucumber

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The Good, The Bad and the Freddie. Is this the real life? Is this just fantasy? — Queen, “Bohemian Rhapsody.” We may well apply the first lines of Queen’s magnum opus Bohemian Rhapsody to the movie encomium of the same name. There is some biography in BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY (“the real life”), yet much dramatic license (“just fantasy”), with particular focus … Read More

EDDIE THE EAGLE

Poffy The Cucumber

Flying Low: Average is the new Achievement. While the real Eddie is a fan of the film, he said that “only about 5%” of EDDIE THE EAGLE is a true story. –BBC News EDDIE THE EAGLE is a tribute to the world’s greatest ski jumper… loser. Oh, so we’re making inspirational movies about losers now? What next, the guy who … Read More

KICK-ASS

Poffy The Cucumber

Cuddly Carnage. “Okay, you cunts. Let’s see what you can do now!” Call me damaged goods, but I’m in love with Hit-Girl. And if her challenge above is how we approach every moviegoing experience, the moment 11-year-old Chloe Grace Moretz (as Hit-Girl) utters that taunt, the movie proves itself an irreverent, unrepentant, ruthless runaway rocket. In my pants. Based on … Read More

TRISTAN AND ISOLDE

Poffy The Cucumber

ROMEO AND JULIET meets mincing BRAVEHEART. Don’t look for any historical resonance in this version of TRISTAN AND ISOLDE, reimagined yet again for a modern audience, with a blond babe sporting tresses slapping her backside and James Franco flexing his muscles as much as possible. So no aspect of this Kevin Reynolds-directed romancer should be confused with the actual legend … Read More

LOCK, STOCK AND TWO SMOKING BARRELS

Poffy The Cucumber

LOCK, STOCK comes at us with two smoking barrels. “Right! Let’s sort the buyers from the spyers, the needy from the greedy and those who love me from the ones who don’t…” Bacon (Jason Statham) and Eddie (Nick Moran) work a street crowd with their hot merchandise. Cops. They flee. When the film suddenly crashes into super-slomo, and a hard, … Read More