SISTERS 2015

Poffy The Cucumber

The BACHELOR PARTY of ladydom. Two adult SISTERS, Kate (Tina Fey) and Maura (Amy Poehler), throw one last party in their childhood home before their parents sell it. One sister needs to prove she is responsible. One needs to get laid. The party gets out of hand soon enough. WAY out of hand. Which make the party scenes reminiscent of … Read More

THE ANGRY BIRDS MOVIE

Poffy The Cucumber

Angry Birds so Roundy Roundy. A flock of flightless birds on an isolated island has their eggs stolen by a group of pigs. The birds angrily get their eggs back before the pigs can make an omelet. Shakespeare this ain’t. THE ANGRY BIRDS MOVIE is the animated cartoon based on the “most downloaded freemium game series of all time,” Angry … Read More

GROWN UPS 2

Poffy The Cucumber

Would you like a little movie to go with your pee jokes? Rob Schneider isn’t here. Nonetheless, GROWN UPS 2 is still worse than its predecessor. It starts with a pee joke, then a tit joke, then a shit joke, then another pee joke, then a combination burp-sneeze-fart trifecta douchefecta. You couldn’t make a movie this bad if you were … Read More

THE NUT JOB

Poffy The Cucumber

Nutless. A group of woodland creatures tries to infiltrate a nut shop and heist its nuts for the winter after their supply in the park is accidentally blown up. Uncute, unlovable animal characters populate THE NUT JOB, an animated feature that aims for excitement, romance and danger and never pulls off any of it as successfully as the uncute unlovable … Read More

SNL 40

Poffy The Cucumber

Celebrating 40 Years of Stunning Mediocrity. The American comedy institution SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE continues its tradition of not being funny, by throwing a 40th Anniversary Special and not being funny. SNL 40 is not only Not Funny, it’s embarrassing, pathetic and painful. Why do these people put themselves through this? Why do they put US through this? Why do audiences … Read More

BRIDESMAIDS

Poffy The Cucumber

Marriage of heaven and hell. One blond (Kristen Wiig), one brunette (Rose Byrne) and one fatty (Melissa McCarthy). Covering all the demos, are we? BRIDESMAIDS was advertised as being a Chick Flick version of SUPERBAD. Nope. It’s just super bad. About a lonely bridesmaid (Wiig) who battles another snobbish bridesmaid (Byrne) for the affections of the ugly bride (Maya Rudolph). … Read More

GROWN UPS

Poffy The Cucumber

Groan Ups. This movie should be spanked on its botty and sent to bed with no supper. Written by Adam Sandler and longtime collaborator Fred Wolf, directed by longtime Sandler director, Dennis Dugan, GROWN UPS stars Sandler, Chris Rock, Kevin James, David Spade and tiresome tool Rob Schneider. Now I ask you: with the wealth of filmmaking experience in the … Read More

50 FIRST DATES

Poffy The Cucumber

Fuggedaboudit! Another Adam Sandler movie. Another Chick Flick. Another romantic comedy. Another film that Rob Schneider appears in. All in all, another Spectacular Waste Of Time. 50 FIRST DATES is almost as painful as the brain injury it makes fun of. Henry (Sandler) is a marine biologist at a SeaWorld in Hawaii. (If you can conceptualize Adam Sandler as a … Read More