RUDY: THE RUDY GIULIANI STORY

Poffy The Cucumber

A Scene, a Policy, and 9/11. Rudy Giuliani – there’s only three things he mentions in a sentence: a noun, a verb and 9/11.” — Joe Biden, Democratic Candidate for President, 2008. In 2008, Joe Biden would aptly describe Rudy Giuliani’s tactics for his presidential candidacy. And this 2003 film, RUDY: THE RUDY GIULIANI STORY, does exactly the same: a … Read More

DARKEST HOUR

Poffy The Cucumber

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Fight For Your Right – to Dunkirk! He mobilized the English language, and sent it into battle. — Edward R. Murrow. (Accredited to Lord Halifax in DARKEST HOUR.) Oldman does Churchill! The greatest actor of our generation plays the greatest orator of the greatest generation. DARKEST HOUR follows newly-elected British Prime Minister Winston Churchill (Gary Oldman) through Britain’s darkest hour … Read More

SHIN GODZILLA

Poffy The Cucumber

Renaissance Zilla. Written like a bullet train, directed like a fighter pilot, SHIN GODZILLA is the most compelling Godzilla film since the original 1954 Ishiro Honda production, GOJIRA! Considering there have been 32 Godzilla films since that first dambuster (34 if you count the American remakes GODZILLA: KING OF THE MONSTERS and GODZILLA 1985), I realize what a killa zilla … Read More

BARRY

Poffy The Cucumber

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Waking from daddy daydreams. Young Obama! BARRY shows us the future 44th president of the United States, Barack Obama, landing in New York as a hopeful college student in search of himself. And some ill manky-g. This remarkable leader, this orator, this first “black” president, will surely have countless other biographies in store, not least for dragging America out of … Read More

LONDON HAS FALLEN

Poffy The Cucumber

Secret Service Superman. LONDON HAS FALLEN follows in the same vein as its predecessor, OLYMPUS HAS FALLEN – a gritty actioner that puts the American president in peril, so his bromantic bodyguard can save him. The terrorists are winning again. Movie opens on a Middle Eastern wedding party near Pakistan, which is blown sky-high by an American missile, taking the … Read More

ELECTION OF DONALD TRUMP | The Death Of America: November 8th, 2016

Jon Dunmore

America: The Country Formerly Known as The Land of the Free. here are many conclusions we can derive from the election of Donald Trump as president of the United States in 2016.   It is conclusive proof that lying is the right way to win the presidency. It is proof that you don’t have to have a ground game to … Read More

SOUTHSIDE WITH YOU

Poffy The Cucumber

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Obama batting Smoove. Barack Obama gets to first base! SOUTHSIDE WITH YOU details the birth of Barack Hussein Obama in Kenya, and how his Nazi mother and Black Panther father conspired with the hospital into forging an American birth certificate, so that their son could infiltrate the presidency and destroy the United States with his muslim sharia ways…  Okay, now … Read More

WHITE HOUSE DOWN

Poffy The Cucumber

DIE HARDER in the White House with a Vengeance. WHITE HOUSE DOWN (released June 2013) was sold as the “comedic” version of OLYMPUS HAS FALLEN (March 2013). Is that why we’re laughing AT it? Not that we can even differentiate them; both are the same level of serious, and the same height of stupidity. With the exact same outcome – … Read More

SCHINDLER’S LIST

Poffy The Cucumber

The Ones That Got Away (alternate title in Germany?) He was German, a Nazi, a profiteer of slave labor, a philanderer, an adulterer, a confidence man and a traitor to his country. He was Oskar Schindler, who saved over 1,100 Jews from concentration camps in World War II. Reminds me of that joke “…but screw just one sheep…” in reverse. … Read More

COLIN QUINN: UNCONSTITUTIONAL

Poffy The Cucumber

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Deconstructionist Instructionist. Standup comedian Colin Quinn flexes his brain bone – and incites Americans to flex theirs – in this refreshingly intelligent take on the U.S. constitution. Now all we need is for Congress to grow a brain and listen to him. UNCONSTITUTIONAL finds the Noo Yawk raconteur in his finest form. Ever. Always been a fan of Colin Quinn’s … Read More

ROSEWATER

Poffy The Cucumber

And I Ran, Iran so far a-way. And Iran, I could-n’t get a-way… Boy, Iran sure can learn a thing or two about torture from America! Jon Stewart (THE DAILY SHOW) directs ROSEWATER, a stark recounting of the kidnapping, torture and release of Iranian-Canadian journalist Maziar Bahari in 2009. There never needs to be any reason behind political kidnapping and … Read More

ROBOCOP 2014

Poffy The Cucumber

Being more Man than Machine? There’s an app for that… A cop transformed into a cyborg fights for control of his free will over the corporation that controls his unthinking, emotionless mind. Uh, so it’s about ALL cops then? No, only ones who behave like ROBOCOP. Oh, so it’s about ALL cops then?… 2028 Detroit. When Alex Murphy (Joel Kinnaman) … Read More

MACHINE GUN PREACHER

Poffy The Cucumber

Rebel With A Cause. Chronicling the true story of an American religious convert in Sudan, MACHINE GUN PREACHER stars Gerard Butler as Sam Childers, a Pennsylvania ex-con who found his calling rescuing kidnapped children from militant terrorist mobs in Africa. It’s an incredible tale, commendable, inspiring, honorable, humane and laudable… … and by “laudable” I mean “Lord-able”… And that’s where … Read More

POWER AND TERROR: NOAM CHOMSKY IN OUR TIMES

Poffy The Cucumber

The times they are a-changing, with the crimes they are a-staging. Everyone’s worried about stopping terrorism. There’s a really easy way: stop participating in it. — Noam Chomsky. Not so much a documentary as a dialogue, POWER AND TERROR: NOAM CHOMSKY IN OUR TIMES is a companion piece to Chomsky’s 2002 book titled 9-11, which offers an alternate/political-insider view to … Read More

SNOWPIERCER

Poffy The Cucumber

Noah’s Ark and Lang’s Metropolis on a Midnight Express. SNOWPIERCER will make you question your place in society, the innate class system that drives humankind, and the ultimate meaning of freedom. It will also make you question what the hell Chris Evans is doing actually Acting and not just flexing his bulge-ceps to score all-American hooers. Evans is Curtis, a … Read More

THE GREAT DICTATOR

Poffy The Cucumber

The Agitprop that Dares Speaketh. Charlie Chaplin’s first talkie. For years, he resisted synchronized sound in his films, thinking it would destroy his career. Maybe he was right, considering he only made a few more movies after THE GREAT DICTATOR; maybe it was self-fulfilling prophecy, or maybe it was a combination of changing times and aging man. No matter, as … Read More

HEROISM | How Would You Define a Hero?

Jon Dunmore

he movie AMERICAN SNIPER opens up another definition of the word “hero” – a sneaky prick who shoots you in the back. And it got me thinking: Just what is this American fascination with the term “hero?” The word is bandied about like a stray volleyball, encapsulating foopball players, ath-o-letes, musicians, actors, to people who are merely doing their job … Read More

THE INTERVIEW 2014

Poffy The Cucumber

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The Propaganda Never Starts… Two American talk show numbnuts score an interview with the dictator of North Korea, Kim Jong-un, and try to assassinate him in the process. It’s THE INTERVIEW, banned by everyone gutless enough to believe the threats of North Korean nationalist hackers who said they would bomb theaters that screened it. How they planned to do that … Read More

Crime DOES Pay. Always has.

Jon Dunmore

here did this notion spring from that “crime doesn’t pay”? People say Crime Doesn’t Pay as if it’s an alternative profession you can choose to pursue, and as if that profession is the only profession in the world that doesn’t pay. Implying that every profession other than “crime” does pay. Like a job at McDonald’s pays. Like a job as … Read More

SUDDENLY

Poffy The Cucumber

Suddenly Moral Ambiguity. An assassination attempt on the president of the United States – by Ol’ Blue Eyes! In a bucolic American town named SUDDENLY, three men posing as FBI take a residential family hostage, using the family’s house as a vantage point to assassinate the president. Frank Sinatra (FROM HERE TO ETERNITY, 1953) is John Baron, the crazy-eyed leader … Read More