THE BRADY BUNCH IN THE WHITE HOUSE

Poffy The Cucumber

A White House impossibly stupider than W’s. At a press conference, Mike Brady summarizes the mildly insane plot of THE BRADY BUNCH IN THE WHITE HOUSE: “Bobby was playing in an abandoned warehouse where he really shouldn’t’ve been. But he was. Then he found a lottery ticket which he shouldn’t’ve taken. But he did. And then one thing led to … Read More

DEATH WISH V: THE FACE OF DEATH

Poffy The Cucumber

The Face of Retirement. Charles Bronson once acted alongside Clint Eastwood in 1965, in an episode of Clint’s TV series RAWHIDE. Two young men at the dawn of their toughguy careers. Bronson has been chasing Eastwood ever since. Certainly not consciously, and I’m sure they’d be the last to cop to the unspoken rivalry, but it was there all right … Read More

TRUE ROMANCE

Poffy The Cucumber

Delicious Vicious, Frantic Romantic. A brazen thug-fest, played like an adventure story for boys. Tony Scott (TOP GUN, DAYS OF THUNDER) directs TRUE ROMANCE, but it’s got Quentin Tarantino‘s stank all over it – delicious dialogue juggled with vicious gun play. Though Tarantino is listed only as “writer,” TRUE ROMANCE seems to be the middle child of what could be … Read More

UNFORGIVEN

Poffy The Cucumber

Let’s get one thing straight: There are those uneducated few of this Earth who contend that UNFORGIVEN is merely a “boring western.” Rest assured I am systematically hunting down these deviants and canceling their membership to Blockbuster Video – permanently. If you know what I mean. If you are one these few – remember, I am watching you. And I … Read More