SAW VI

Poffy The Cucumber

Would you like a little Death to go with your Life Insurance? Jigsaw’s back, and this time – he’s killing Health Insurance reps! And I think I speak for everyone when I say, “And?” It’s SAW VI, and vigilante Jigsaw (Tobin Bell, as ominous as ever!) has been terrorizing us for so long now (since 2004’s SAW), it was inevitable … Read More

SAW V

Poffy The Cucumber

Cinco de Pain-o. SAW V opens with its now-characteristic gore-porn, that gives the victim a torturous choice, in this case, be sliced in half by a swinging pendulum, Edgar Allen Poe style, or stop the swing by crushing your hands to dust in vices. The victim opts to mangle his hands, as penance for his past sins – but the … Read More

SAW IV

Poffy The Cucumber

Fourth Time’s the Harm. Jigsaw is dead. Lying naked on an autopsy slab. Skull being sawed open by morticians, brain being pried loose from its succulent base, ribcage spread wide, slippery organs removed (I’d love to know what surgeons think of this authentic-looking scene) – but wait! In his stomach – a micro-cassette tape! Not foreseeing that Radio Shack would … Read More

SAW III

Poffy The Cucumber

Now it’s just painful. A horror movie with brains… splashing all over your feet as they fall out of someone’s skull. Okay, now it’s officially gratuitous. SAW III begins the ruination of the SAW franchise. Not only is it needlessly gory, original SAW writers Leigh Whannell and James Wan try to connect the existing SAW movies in a Grande Trilogy … Read More

SAW II

Poffy The Cucumber

Seen it once, SAW it again… The opening scene of SAW II is as compelling and horrifying as anything you will ever see as a human being with pain receptors: A man wakes in a dungeon with an open bear trap locked around his neck, lined with nails. It is on a timer to snap shut on his head, but … Read More

SAW

Poffy The Cucumber

To Die For. It’s all about the story, innit? SAW dives into its second act in its first minute: Two men in a subterranean TRAINSPOTTING bathroom, chained by their ankles to steel pipes at opposite ends of the room. A dead man lies in a pool of blood on the floor; in his hands, a gun and microcassette player. The … Read More