THREE BILLBOARDS OUTSIDE EBBING, MISSOURI

Poffy The Cucumber

Signage Pwnage. After a murder investigation goes cold, the mother of the murdered girl purchases advertising on THREE BILLBOARDS OUTSIDE EBBING, MISSOURI to turn up the heat on the local sheriff, by reminding the town of his neglect: RAPED WHILE DYING AND STILL NO ARRESTS? HOW COME, CHIEF WILLOUGHBY? It’s not a murder mystery, it’s not a cop drama, it’s … Read More

THE BOURNE LEGACY

Poffy The Cucumber

The Bourne Non-Identity. Poor Jeremy Renner! First he takes a job as the least of THE AVENGERS, now he’s on a job as the least of the BOURNEs! He’s a good actor, he’s got charisma, he’s inshape, seems like a nice guy – but when will he get a break as a leading man? Jason Bourne IS Hawkeye! THE BOURNE … Read More

ARGO

Poffy The Cucumber

The Year of Living Hollywoodly. When your facial hair says yes and your fashion sense says no – that’s ARGO. Ben Affleck does battle with his beard for top billing as CIA “exfiltration” expert Tony Mendez, trying to extract six American fugitives from Iran during a political insurgency. (When is there NOT a political insurgency in Iran? Can someone call … Read More

COURAGE UNDER FIRE

Poffy The Cucumber

Gutless Under Cliché. Yes, I know it’s trying to be inspiring and heroic and poignant, but COURAGE UNDER FIRE is one of the most blatantly gutless movies ever made. About a soldier investigating whether a downed female United States helicopter pilot in Desert Storm deserves a posthumous Medal of Honor. So I ask you: in which universe will America ever … Read More

A CIVIL ACTION

Poffy The Cucumber

Justice IS blind – so can’t see Truth. In movies, the good guys always seem to win court cases. Over an ingratiating orchestra swell, no less. But in reality, good or bad has nothing to do with the outcome of court cases. It’s how you play the game. If you can afford to be in the game in the first … Read More

IN BRUGES

Poffy The Cucumber

Quentin Tarantino’s THE ODD COUPLE. Humor so black and ironic, it’s like stabbing nuns with the same ruler they used to rap your knuckles during piano lessons. IN BRUGES. It’s in Belgium. It’s where mismatched hitmen Ken (Brendan Gleeson) and Ray (Colin Farrell) are sent by Harry the Boss (Ralph Fiennes) to lay low after a hit, to await his … Read More

THE HOAX

Poffy The Cucumber

The Barbaric Yawp of the Lunatic Fringe. In 1970, author Clifford Irving fooled all of the people some of the time when he produced the autobiography of one of the world’s most intriguing recluses, Howard Hughes. Like all great hoaxes, it eventually served him better than the truth. And like all movies “based on true stories,” we approach cautiously where … Read More