Alpha-N (27 titles)

Release: Jun 06 – Review: 22 Jul 06

Lotsa Lucha, Lessa Libre.

Like its hero, NACHO LIBRE lacks any kind of punch…

Release: Dec 89 – Review: 19 Jan 17

Tidings of no comfort, no joy.

… his timing is so atrocious, it would be considered laughable – if there was the remotest possibility of laughing at anything Chevy Chase does.

Release: Jul 83 – Review: 30 Apr 16

Road trip-up.

… vain attempts at pushing the envelope on gross-out road-trip comedy…

Release: Nov 04 – Review: 10 Feb 07

Precious Little.

…salted with a snide dig at the political laziness of the American people coupled with a sly j’accuse at their insuperably asinine government.

Release: Dec 07 – Review: 19 Sep 09

I’m going to take a Treasure Bath!

…For all its contrived clue-solving and annoying coincidences and tiresome car chases, and even Nicolas Cage’s mourning face, NATIONAL TREASURE: BOOK OF SECRETS is a lot of fun.

Release: Jul 98 – Review: 8 Nov 10

Two Wrongs making Two Rights.

And all sensible talking breaks loose.

Release: May 14 – Review: 30 Nov 16

Flab versus Ab.

A young married couple with a newborn are faced with a rowdy college fraternity moving in next door. And all rock hard abs break loose…

Release: Jul 95 – Review: 13 Jul 14

The Future Is Then.

So exciting I almost opened a new gmail account.

Release: Nov 76 – Review: 16 Sep 12

Don’t get mad – get a News Show.

It would be a satire on how television media is a manipulative force – if it wasn’t truth.

Release: Oct 93 – Review: 10 Jul 20

To Bond or not to Bond.

If you know THUNDERBALL, you know NEVER. Same story – just cheaper.

Release: May 02 – Review: 16 Apr 09

Once a Dork…

…there are not enough words in the virgin English tongue to describe the depths of stupidity THE NEW GUY plumbs.

Release: Apr 07 – Review: 11 Jan 10

Next to Nothing.

He can see the future, but he couldn’t see he was going to make an assface of himself by doing this movie.

Release: Oct 68 – Review: 1 Nov 09

Night of the Actor’s Studio Rejects.

… a director who couldn’t direct, got together with a bunch of actors who couldn’t act and lumbered out NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD. And the world became a stupider place.

Release: Oct 19 – Review: 3 Oct 19

Doing the Schumer Shimmy.

It’s ironic that there is so much vitriol directed toward Amy Schumer these days for joke-stealing, and now Nikki is outright stealing Amy’s whole act.

Release: Apr 63 – Review: 26 Dec 13

The Dark Side of the Horst.

…not about Gandhi per se, but about the white men in blackface who killed him.

Release: Jul 95 – Review: 24 Nov 10

What a miscarriage!

Women are always complaining that men cannot know the pain of childbirth. By watching NINE MONTHS, each of us insensitive men can at last feel such pain.

Release: Nov 07 – Review: 27 Apr 08

New Killer. Old Hairstyle.

…plot is almost secondary to the exceptional manner in which the story is told through movie MAKING…

Release: Oct 21 – Review: 30 Jun 22

First Bond To Die.

…a handsome robust conclusion to the Daniel Craig Bond adventure…

Release: Mar 14 – Review: 20 Apr 14

Dark Ark.

…a tsunami of fresh ideas, a font of profound and creative filmmaking, from a story older than christianity (stop that whining, you mongrel religion of stolen rituals!).

Release: Feb 14 – Review: 8 Sep 16

A particular set of thrills.

An air marshal must stop a mysterious texting terrorist…

Release: Jul 22 – Review: 10 Mar 23

Probing your mind, not your anus.

… like Peele’s first two offerings, GET OUT and US, there is horror mixed with thriller, but the real meat is a parable on mankind’s hubris.

Release: Jan 09 – Review: 19 Jun 09

Preachy, Peachy and Screechy.

…tailored for the black christian market like a black suit and tie is tailored for a Reservoir Dog.

Release: Nov 1937 – Review: 5 Oct 17

Before Martin & Lewis – there was March & Lombard.

… the original 1937 screwball comedy that inspired the Martin and Lewis remake, LIVING IT UP in 1954.

Release: May 13 – Review: 2 Jun 16

The closer you look, the less you’ll care…

They’re young, sexy and dangerous. And too smug for their own sleight of hand.

Release: Dec 09 – Review: 28 Feb 12

I Am The Baby Seal Jesus.

John Lennon’s high school principal tells him, “You’re going nowhere, son.” At that point, you’re meant to slap yourself on the knee and exclaim “Hah! Little did he know!” Do you feel dirty yet?

Release: Feb 07 – Review: 4 Dec 08

The Number of the Least.

…an entertaining diversion, moving at a pace that prevents us from seeing the stupidity in 2+3=23 (yes, this is the “intelligence” level of numerologists).

Release: Jan 14 – Review: 8 May 15

Nutless.

…an animated feature that aims for excitement, romance and danger and doesn’t pull off any of it as successfully as the uncute unlovable animal characters pull off the heist.