OBL – OCU
Release: Apr 13 – Review: 9 May 13
Oblivious to its progenitors?
Seamless efx coupled with an onslaught of plot points that we’ve Déjà vu’d in a thousand other movies
Release: Apr 09 – Review: 17 Oct 09
… walks that indecisive line between drama and comedy, with Seth Rogen pulling it towards big-dumb-galoot comedy…
Release: Apr 09 – Review: 19 Aug 10
Hell hath no apathy, like a woman scorned.
… writer and director have crafted OBSESSED as if they’ve never known the embrace of a woman, let alone been stalked by one.
Release: Aug 60 – Review: 13 Sep 14
… a breezy heist flick too slick for its own Brylcreemed pompadour, too koo-koo kutchoo for its own swingin’ hep cats. .
Release: Dec 01 – Review: 30 Dec 03
Whatchoo talkin bout, Cheadle?
… we’re not so much dealing with “movies” as we are with movie STARS.
Release: Dec 04 – Review: 22 Nov 05
“1 Louder” Than Ocean’s Eleven.
… so self-aware of its megastar cheese-wattage that it can’t quite get over its own smugness.
Release: Jun 07 – Review: 23 Jun 07
Lucky Number Thirteen.
… this time ‘round, the direction is wiser, the plot is tighter and some of the jokes are actually funny.
Release: Jun 83 – Review: 18 Jun 20
Eight times the vagina.
Bond investigates a smuggling ring in India and the screenplay somehow gets tangled up in geopolitical espionage between Russia and America.
Release: Apr 14 – Review: 23 Dec 14
… a chilling, original, truly eerie horror movie. There is no escape from what you think you see. Kinda like TMZ.
OFF – ORP
Release: 2001 – Review: 15 Sep 12
Genius Ricky Gervais forges one of the greatest comedy series in history…
Release: Jul 21 – Review: 16 Feb 23
OLD is defeated by its Young.
… a group of vacationing people on a secluded tropical beach, who realize that the beach is making them age rapidly, yet who cannot leave…
Release: Jul 20 – Review: 2 Sep 2020
Immortals: can’t live with ‘em, can’t kill ‘em. No – literally.
… led by Charlize Theron, in jeans so tight I can see the outline of her cock.
Release: Mar 13 – Review: 10 Jul 14
DIE HARD in the White House.
… Agent Gerard Butler is the fly in the ointment, the spanner in the works, the McClane in the Nakatomi.
Release: Dec 69 – Review: 13 May 20
This never happened to the other fella…
Bond versus Blofeld, who threatens to wipe out life on Earth – with a virus!
Release: Jul 19 – Review: 10 Oct 19
A film that takes us somewhere, yet goes nowhere.
Tarantino seems to have lost his throughline in chasing his art.
Release: Nov 75 – Review: 25 Mar 11
One Cuckoo in Charge of the Rest.
… one of the foremost statements on mankind’s descent into madness. Not because of the unbalanced patients – because of the unbalanced staff.
Release: Aug 04 – Review: 6 Apr 09
Body of Beauty in Body of Water.
Two insignificant bodies in a limitless ocean – fact that one of them is Blanchard Ryan’s 9.5 body is doubly tragic…
Release: Aug 06 – Review: 18 Dec 09
Sea legs in the second act.
… six people lost at sea. Six BORING people.
Release: Jul 23 – Review: 25 Aug 23
The REAL Quantum Mania.
… follows the “father of the atomic bomb,” J. Robert Oppenheimer, as he gathers geniuses, cockblocks politicians, and bangs mistresses.
Release: Jul 09 – Review: 19 Aug 10
The Kid Ain’t Kidding.
… when an upscale couple with two children adopt a 9-year-old orphan with scary theme music, familial bliss is not in the flow chart.
OUI – OXB
Release: Oct 14 – Review: 24 Apr 16
Ouija: the bored game.
Five teens try to contact their dead friend through a ouija board. And guess what? They do.
Release: Oct 16 – Review: 24 Nov 22
Devil: 1. God: 0. Again.
A charlatan spirit medium discovers her daughter can actually contact spirits through a Ouija board. And all, uh, hell breaks loose.
Release: Aug 11 – Review: 30 Jan 14
Our Idiot Movie.
A gentle, gullible soul causes problems for his three sisters with his big mouth.
Release: Aug 10 – Review: 17 Jan 11
Finding the Other Mark Wahlberg.
… should have just been called THE OTHER GUY (singular), as we watch Wahlberg elegantly steal it from right under Ferrell’s nose.
Release: May 81 – Review: 11 Oct 11
It’s HIGH NOON in space. Well, sort of. Well, not exactly. Well, not at all.
Release: May 06 – Review: 27 May 06
Die Hard With A Woodland Critter Vengeance.
… does our enjoyment stem from the tale and its telling, or from the megastar backbone that props up all these modern 3D animation films?
Release: May 43 – Review: 24 Dec 09
Vengeance is Swine.
… presciently an exact representation – EXACT – of how the George W. Bush administration prosecuted its failed state “justice” in its bogus War on Terror.
Release: Mar 13 – Review: 6 Oct 13
Follow the yellow slick road…
… as wondrous and exciting as the film that inspired it, which means it is kaleidoscopically trippy and makes no sense.