V – VAL
Release: Mar 06 – Review: 12 Apr 06
V versus W: No Betta Vendetta.
…a confluence of electric ideas and wolfen imagery that will burn itself into the cortexes of this politically-tepid generation…
Release: Jul 15 – Review: 1 May 16
A Vacation from Comedy.
… a sequel-acting-as-reboot; the story of Son Of Douche partaking of a road trip to emulate the legendary trek of his father.
Release: Dec 08 – Review: 12 Jan 09
The Plight of the Valkyries.
… compress events and often just falsify events to keep it popcorn-friendly – this is not a historical document…
Release: 1969 – Review: 7 Aug 05
That Old Black Magic Called – Dynamation.
The minimal character arcs are all played out within the first two acts, so as not to cause any accidental thinking in the all-important Running-and-Screaming third act.
VAN – VIL
Release: May 04 – Review: 30 Apr 12
It was a Monster Mash!
VAN HELSING is an old-fashioned monster tale with new-fashioned sex symbology. This ain’t your daddy’s Van Helsing.
Release: Feb 08 – Review: 27 Jan 09
Point of View Askew.
…as each piece fits into the puzzle, it all starts adding up to a steaming pile of ambivalence.
Release: Oct 98 – Review: 18 Sep 06
Moonage Daydreams of Stardust.
…a diabolical, Bowie-esque, Wilde-ian fantasm – veritably pulsates with this species of lascivious mind-painting. .
A VERY BRADY SEQUEL
Release: Aug 96 – Review: 14 Nov 17
Makes the best of a bad idea.
… possibly because we’ve been beaten into submission by the kitsch. Yeh, that’s it.
Release: Dec 18 – Review: 21 Jan 19
The Fat Face of Evil.
… the story of Dick Cheney, following his rise from hell into the White House as George W. Bush’s vice president.
A VIEW TO A KILL
Release: May 85 – Review: 19 Jul 20
A View To A Stuntman.
… a movie that could easily win the prize for The Stuntman Most Looking Not Like The Star.
Release: Jul 04 – Review: 23 Jul 14
Mythed it by that much.
THE VILLAGE is not about roaring, serial killing, hillbilly beasts. It’s a story about courage. The courage to make a thoughtful movie amidst roaring, serial killing, hillbilly beasts.
VIR – VON
Release: Jan 99 – Review: 23 Sep 10
Inhuman Immunodeficiency Virus.
I feel like vomiting and I’m getting a headache and maybe even diarrhea. I’ve either got a virus. Or I’ve just watched the movie of the same name.
THE VISIT 2015
Release: Sep 15 – Review: 29 Jan 17
Don’t Get Old, Get Evil.
… does create some scares and a general feeling of uneasiness, all tempered due to that godforsaken hand-held gimmick.
VISIT TO A SMALL PLANET
Release: Feb 60 – Review: 30 Dec 18
The Shrinking of Gore’s PLANET.
… an atrocious script that exudes astronomical ignorance, and by that I mean: ignorance in astronomy… or maybe, also…?
Release: Apr 97 – Review: 20 Mar 09
You Maniacs! You blew it up!
VOLCANO is nothing but fun fun fun, seeing the city of my residence – Los Angeles, California – the city that has given me nothing but attitude attitude attitude being blown all to hell.
VON RYAN’S EXPRESS
Release: Jun 65 – Review: 10 Nov 11
… Frank Sinatra enters an Italian prison camp and starts doing things His Way.