W – WAR
Release: Oct 08 – Review: 30 Oct 08
Putting the W in WMD.
… one-dimensional fairytale of a cowboy moron’s rise to power, from an alcoholic tail-chaser to the bumbling, born-again dumbest president of the United States.
Release: Jan 98 – Review: 10 Aug 11
… an allegory of this Orwellian society sometimes called America… where government manufactures crises in order to solve them and pretend efficiency.
Release: Dec 07 – Review: 2 Jan 09
… takes every single cliché from those glossy turkeys and parties with a penis in your face.
Release: Sep 05 – Review: 5 Dec 05
Blues for The Man In Black.
As a movie, formulaic; as a biography, a sordid Behind The Music episode at best.
Release: Dec 87 – Review: 30 Jun 11
Up against The Wall.
… the people of Wall Street do that mysterious thing they do with imaginary money that isn’t theirs – illegally, unethically and with a plastic 80’s soundtrack.
Release: Sep 10 – Review: 27 Dec 11
Freakonomics and Con-sumerism.
Oliver Stone’s sequel to that pimping film is just as confusing and hedonistic, with its insider knowledge and corporate thuggery…
Release: Jul 08 – Review: 22 Jul 08
Domo Arigato, Mr. Roboto!
… the horror of this totalitarian society might have slapped us in the BRAZIL bone was it not for the Pixar team injecting robot buffoonery at every pixel.
Release: Jan 87 – Review: 30 Oct 10
Dead on Arrival.
… begins that drab period in Hauer’s career where we see him popping up in every piece of crap that required a blond, pansexual action hero.
Release: Jun 17 – Review: 4 Jan 19
You maniacs! You blew it up!…
… succeeds on many intellectual and technical levels, and falls slightly short in its visceral, emotive impact, and is probably too introspective for its own good.
Release: Sep 08 – Review: 26 Mar 09
Orwell’s 1984 meets W.’s 2004.
… political satire almost blacker than George W. Bush’s rectum heart, but wildly funnier than his misshapen weasel head.
Release: Jun 05 – Review: 18 Apr 07
Spielberg and Cruise: Reign of the Smugs.
… at least it achieved the mission impossible of wiping that insufferable smirk off Tom Cruise’s face.
WAT – WIL
Release: Jul 12 – Review: 23 Aug 13
… supposedly a comedy. But it’s funny how no one’s laughing.
Release: Mar 09 – Review: 19 Mar 09
Look on my works, ye mighty, and despair!
… more than a comicbook, more than a messianic cry of madness; flamboyant costumed heroes, a plot that shakes the world and Dr. Manhattan in full frontal ectoplasm.
Release: May 14 – Review: 29 May 16
Fifteen Twisted Minutes.
… fills in many Scenes Missing in this hard rock band’s long haul to recognition and non-tranny respect.
Release: Feb 02 – Review: 2 Sep 03
We Were Soldiers In A Plotless Movie.
… like the Viet Nam war, the movie drones on incessantly with half of America saluting it and the other half protesting that it should be ended.
Release: Apr 18 – Review: 8 Jul 18
Everything happening with Nothing going on.
… seem like they figured out the plot on a napkin when they were hella drunk, then realized too late it wouldn’t make a good film. By then they were sober.
Release: Nov 10 – Review: 17 Dec 12
When damaged souls collide.
A married businessman spends his money on a prostitute. (And right now, you’re thinking: ‘So what’s new?’)
Release: 1996 – Review: 22 Aug 05
Of Werewolves And Were-Euros.
… we’ve been duped into watching an interminable Mentos commercial…
Release: May 08 – Review: 7 Jun 10
Dude, Where’s My Car(eer)?
How tormenting it must be for two superhot white American heterosexuals obviously attracted to one another to pretend marriage to each other.
Release: Jun 09 – Review: 20 Nov 09
Whatever WHATEVER is, it works.
… Larry David as a crunchier Woody Allen.
Release: May 08 – Review: 28 Jun 09
War of the Worlds.
Morgan Spurlock, insurrectionist, free thinker, junk food eater, has encapsulated on film the issue on every adult mind on Earth since September 11, 2001.
Release: Jun 13 – Review: 25 Aug 16
DIE HARDER in the White House with a Vengeance.
Because – ‘MURRICA! .
Release: Jan 05 – Review: 5 Jan 06
… endowing EVP with a name that sounds like it was coined by the Professor from Gilligan’s Island seems to grant it a modicum of legitimacy.
Release: Jun 14 – Review: 28 Sep 15
Criminal cops and collusion as black as Whitey.
… about the most notorious organized crime gang in South Boston in the mid-1970s – the FBI. Oh, and James “Whitey” Bulger’s peripheral involvement…
Release: Mar 14 – Review: 5 Apr 14
Illicit President, Illicit War.
… ex-administration tongues wagging more freely, the passage of years assuring they won’t be disappeared for coming forward…
Release: Dec 73 – Review: 7 Dec 09
… go for the public sex, go for the spurning of Christianity, go for Britt Eckland inviting you to her room by crooning an eerie Celtic paean and dancing around starkers.
Release: Mar 07 – Review: 1 Jun 08
On The Road To Nowhere.
… Sunday riders who decide to hit the open road on their weekend machines to alleviate the boredom of their suburban existences. Unfortunately, it does nothing to alleviate OUR boredom.
Release: Mar 09 – Review: 22 Jul 10
If you want to giggle without thought – much like watching any given Will Ferrell movie…
WIM – WRO
Release: Sep 04 – Review: 23 Oct 13
Serve, Return, Rally, Lob, Smash – Love.
Rigorous love-game and stalking game-play – or is it the other way ’round? – make WIMBLEDON an enjoyable afternoon on the green.
Release: Feb 16 – Review: 7 Apr 16
The Cult Of Virginality.
… Olde World old school black magick tale of terror.
Release: Oct 78 – Review: 16 Jul 11
If you’re thinkin’ of bein’ my remake, it don’t matter if you’re black or white.
The pinky-white euphemism “urban” doesn’t disguise THE WIZ for what it is – a BLACK version of THE WIZARD OF OZ.
Release: Aug 39 – Review: 23 May 11
The Wizarding World of Non-Oz-Sense.
…although it’s a fun romp through a mine field of hallucinogenic surrealism, barring a few memorable performances and iconic moments, most of THE WIZARD OF OZ is outdated, overacted and under-thought.
Release: Dec 13 – Review: 22 Mar 16
Illegal Money Never Sleeps.
Leonardo DiCaprio overacts his way into the heart of Wall Street, into the pants of hookers and into federal jail.
Release: Feb 10 – Review: 3 Feb 11
… somewhere between BRAM STOKER’S DRACULA and AN AMERICAN WEREWOLF IN LONDON.
Release: Jun 13 – Review: 28 Nov 13
Sticks and Stones might break his bones…
THE WOLVERINE, like its eponymous hero, is epic, dark and muscular. Sixth time’s the charm…
Release: Jun 17 – Review: 7 Aug 17
Superman in a bra.
The first ever feature film for the DC superhero WONDER WOMAN has already caused its fare share of controversy and orgasm.
Release: Aug 06 – Review: 25 Aug 06
A Date With Density.
… extracts a rubbernecker’s glee from watching this unimaginable tragedy unfold with astoundingly seamless special effects from a Ground Zero ringside seat.
Release: Jun 13 – Review: 29 Apr 14
World War ZGI.
… reanimated the zombie movie. This ain’t George A. Romero’s non-actor-fest.
Release: Mar 56 – Review: 26 Oct 13
World Without Clue.
It’s H.G. Wells’s Eloi and Morlocks with their environments reversed. And much, much stupider.
Release: Sep 05 – Review: 27 Jul 06
Like A Bat Out Of Invercargill.
Burt Munro just happened to be the wrong man in the right place at the fastest time.
Release: Mar 12 – Review: 17 Sep 13
… the kidnapping of Zeus, the treachery of Ares, the disintegration of Poseidon, and the slaying of the Titan Kronos, just like it says in all the Greek myths…
Release: Jan 09 – Review: 13 Feb 09
… modern masterpiece; controlled, poignant, inspiring, funny, ultimately heart-wrenching with a Ramjet dive off the turnbuckle.
Release: May 03 – Review: 21 Nov 05
Something’s Right About Wrong Turn.
An axe-notch above the usual screaming-teen fare…