e have so much to be thankful for this 2012 Thanksgiving Season.

Mitt Romney lost.

Barack Obama won. And America laughed. At Mitt Romney. Not because America was mean-spirited and petty, but because Mitt Romney pretzeled himself into such a laughingstock, such a willfully dishonorable, pandering, gutless puppet (even though we know that he knows better, having been the CEO of multi-billion dollar corporations) that he deserves every gleaming knife-edged barb stabbed into that filthy pig’s heart of his.

No, but Dunmore, tell us what you REALLY think of Mitt Romney…

Here was a man who knew what he was saying when he lied about the Obama administration handing out welfare checks without work requirements. Here was a man who knew what he was saying when he lied about Obama selling Jeep to “the Italians” and about the company shipping jobs overseas. Here was a man who, when exposed for those lies (as well as hundreds of others), did not recant, repudiate, or even blame anyone else for providing him wrong information. He – simply – just – kept – lying.

Here was a man (to call Mitt Romney a ‘man’ is stretching the truth to breaking point, which is coincidentally exactly how this unprincipled lowlife ran his campaign) who was literally trying to lie his way into the White House. I guess you shoulda released some o’ them tax returns, huh, Mitten? Guess that decision to have your ball-breaking wife go on TV and chastise the American public didn’t pan out, huh?

Here was a man who had no core, nothing, and thus nothing to base his campaign on. They called him a flip-flopper because he adopted opposing positions on every single issue he ran on.

Let me repeat that: Every. Single. Issue.

And though I initially agreed with that simple terminology (believing, as everyone else did, that Mitt’s changes of mind actually reflected changes of belief), I soon saw much deeper into the pimp soul of the Massachusetts one-term failure governor, and political commentators eventually realized it too, about a month out from election day: that Romney was not a flip-flopper at all – that he only had ONE POSITION – to attain the American Presidency at any cost. His policy positions were incidental to the goal. And his goal was in no way a noble pursuit, not a public calling, not even for political gain; not to aid his 1% elite pimp brotherhood that kept him funded, not to retain his untaxed millions in offshore accounts, and certainly not to “help the country.” To paraphrase a speaker at the 2012 Democratic Convention: he wanted to HAVE the job, not DO the job.

And Romney, like you or I at any given job interview, was gonna do anything it took to get it. Yes, you’ve walked into interviews and lied your ass off to your potential boss that you are a people-person and that you know Power Point and that your aptitude for the job is only matched by your deep abiding love for it. So too did Mitt Romney lie in his interview to his potential boss: in Mitt’s case, the “interview” was a seven-year, 2-billion dollar campaign and his potential boss was the American People.

“My father had a favorite saying: Nothing is as vulnerable as entrenched success.”
–Romney op-ed in Time Magazine (Oct 29, 2011).

Here was a ‘man’ who inherited wealth, and was then blissfully incognizant of how anyone could have the bad taste to be born without it; shepherded through life as daddy’s golden-haired boy, only concerned with the means to make money. A selfish, clinical, greedy one-trick pony. With a horse that didn’t place at the Olympics. (Another thing to be thankful for.)

Now, being a “capitalist” is not inherently a bad thing. Hell, I’m a capitalist; money does, in fact, buy me happiness. But Mitt Romney is – to coin an apt Rick Perry phrase – a “vulture capitalist.” His bread and butter was someone else’s misery. His very job was to vulture people out of jobs. His company’s business was to vulture companies out of business. Has there ever been a more apt name than BAIN CAPITAL? (Bain will jump up and down highlighting the many failing businesses caressed by their zombie hands that are now booming – only because Bain are still making a killing on the back end of those businesses. The fact they are thriving is not due to Bain but despite them.)

And Mitt Romney being CEO of Bain doesn’t necessarily make him a despicable person. So what DOES make Mitt Romney so despicable?

Is it because he pioneered outsourcing jobs to China for corporate tax breaks and when confronted with that fact at the first debate, denied that he even knew this practice existed in America?! Is it that he once ran as a moderate, claiming he was “better for black people than Ted Kennedy,” and nowadays he can’t even say the word black around the unsheeted Klansfolk that comprise his party (Louie Gohmert, Haley Barbour, Dick Morris, John Bolton, Lindsey Graham, Mitch McConnell, et al) for fear that someone will drop the n-bomb and give the game away? Is it spray-tanning his extreme whiteboy pastiness for his appearance on Spanish TV network Telemundo, or is it how he refused to go onstage unless he could bus in Romney supporters to plant in the crowd? Is it strapping his dog to the roof of his car for a journey across the state? Is it staging a fake food drive by buying $5K of canned goods from Wal-Mart and making his supporters hand the cans back to him for a photo-op?

Well, these and a thousand other indecencies certainly do paint a clear picture of this harlot’s ethos, but Mitten Romney’s greatest lie was trying to be something he was not – a middle-class, empathetic leader that would succor the needs of the many, not the needs of the few. Here was a dyed-in-the-wool vulture capitalist, now pretending concern for a population that he would just as readily ship overseas or throw under the bus.

This entitled, enabled, dainty, teetotaling culty snob tried to convince the country that he could relate to the middle class, but he has no goddam clue what middle class IS, not once having stepped outside his culty richie yachtie bubble to get one mote of dirt under his manicured fingernails. When he shopped at a hardware store for a photo-op, as he exited, a reporter asked him, “What did you buy?” Clutching a nondescript plastic bag, surrounded by secret service agents, entering the cab of a bulletproof SUV, Mitt tries to put himself in the mind of the middle class and replies, “Hardware stuff.” ‘Hardware stuff’? As reporter Chris Mathews would constantly humorously upbraid, “Who talks like that?”

Mitt Romney tried NOT to be a misogynist. Failed. (“…binders full of women…”) He tried NOT to be a bigot. Failed. (His slogan: “Keep America America.” The Ku Klux Klan slogan: “Keep America American.” You decide.) Tried NOT to be snide and out-of-touch and provincial. Failed. (See: anything Mitt Romney says.)

Schadenfreude (“malicious joy in the misfortunes of others,” German, literally: damage-joy).

And in a national display of schadenfreude, America not only takes heart in the fact that this Liar was not rewarded the White House, but that he got his just desserts. Can we who have not campaigned for president ever conceive the heady aggrandizement that comes with people cheering you for seven straight years as not just a political representative but the Lord’s evangel empowered to save the country from blackmageddon? Can we imagine what it must be like to suddenly have that rug pulled out from under us? Suddenly – no secret service, no preferential treatment, no crowds, no cheering, no field offices, no party loyalty, no jaunts to battleground states, no photo ops, no funding, no job.

We don’t have to imagine. This is what it looks like:

Two weeks ago his robotic stride, perfectly-coiffed suits, embarrassingly-earthy jeans and mirthless laugh prompted many to call him a cyborg, android, alien (which is ironic, considering he is so fearful of Other-Colored peoples); today – he’s a bum.

This is Mitt Romney Nov 20, 2012, just after seeing TWILIGHT: BREAKING DAWN PART 2 with his wife.

Apparently, his hairstylist was fired as well. Did he sleep in those clothes? And when was the last time he pumped his own gas without making it a photo-op to pretend how down-to-Earth he was?

Can I just be a fly on the wall at the Romney Thanksgiving dinner this year, please? As the cowardly Romney men and their dutiful, submissive wives who obviously advocate having no minds of their own (“I love you women!”), gather round the only weapon any of these hypocrites will ever wield – the turkey carving knife – and with fake smiles, fake their thanks to their fake Mormon deity, all the while cursing it for seeing fit to deny the head of the Romney Klan what he felt was rightfully and sacredly his, over that uppity– well, the rest is, as they say, GRAVY!

Hypocrites? Mitten the Kitten deferred from Viet Nam service while advocating for the war; Mitt’s five cowardly, smack-talking sons also advocate for war in any country that sounds convenient, while all of them – strapping, virile, runway models all – continue to NOT sign up for military service (chickenshit chickenhawks); all the while, Mitt maintaining his sons “serve the country” by helping to elect him president. By that logic, does the fact that he failed to become president mean that his sons have, in effect, not served the country, or done a disservice to the country? Your call, you swine! (By the way, my constant terming of these reprehensible charlatans as Klansfolk and swine is an insult to the Ku Klux Klan and pigs.)

Mitt Romney said Obama raised taxes, though he knows Obama didn’t; Mitt Romney said Obama doubled the deficit, though he knows Obama has shrunk it the most it has ever shrunk since WWII; Mitt Romney said Obama loses jobs, though he knows that Obama’s admin has overseen forty-eight unbroken months of job gains. Mitt Romney derided Obama’s health care plan, though he knows the idea came from his own Massachusetts health care plan, which he said “should be a national model.” Mitt Romney said “Let Detroit Go Bankrupt,” Mitt Romney said “47 percent of Americans are moochers,” Mitt Romney said “I like to fire people,” Mitt Romney said “Corporations are people”…

What kind of unmitigated cur is this weasel? What type of mindset would vote for this thing pretending to be human? What kind of people would a thing-human like this attract?

Well, there’s Richard (“Rape is God’s gift”) Mourdock, Bob (Governor Ultrasound) McDonnell, Allen (“80 House Democrats are Communists”) West. There’s even Donald (“I have teams in Hawaii digging for the Birth Certificate”) Trump. Upstanding pillars of intelligentsia.

And then there’s this puling mound of donkey shit that calls itself John Sununu. (“Black people stick together!”) And lemme tell ya: being friends with John Sununu is its own reward…

Mitt Romney chose as his running mate, the supposedly sharp mathematician and ab model, Paul Ryan, who suddenly lost the ability to do math on the campaign trail (“I don’t want to get wonky on you”); a duplicitous weasel who claimed to “run marathons” (he ran only one), and claimed his “best time” (you mean your “only” time) was “under three hours, high twos” (it was 4:01:25); a shameless campaign shill who forced his way into a St. Vincent de Paul soup kitchen to wash dishes that were already clean for a photo-op.

As much as the Democratic Party is duplicitous as well, in that they want to hold onto their jobs as much as the Republicans would like to wrest those jobs from them, can you find me one verifiable story – JUST ONE – as low and snide as this, never mind the hundreds of other Romney mendacities?

And in his convention speech, Ryan succeeded in doing something that no man on Earth has succeeded in doing due to physics laws: he lied more than Mitt Romney.

Maybe it’s just me, but doesn’t this supposedly handsome man look like an old woman who has taken her teeth out? And I want to slap that widow’s peak off his puppy-dog-eyed forehead.

Now here’s the best part about all this damage-joy:

Post Election: Mitt Romney has been discarded like the automaton that didn’t function properly. For the election loss brought about by their anti-social policies, uncovered lies and doggedly insincere candidates, the Republicans blame the media, the polls, “urban people,” Hurricane Sandy, fact-checkers, Obama getting more votes (yes, really), minorities, Big Bird, binders full of women, horses and bayonets, whatever shiny thing catches their blunt skulls, insulting, denigrating, backbiting each other and the public whose support they supposedly courted.

When you’re in a hole, stop digging. But the Republicans just keep requesting more shovels:

First day back in Congress, Republicans attempt to push through another – you guessed it – anti-abortion bill; John McCain, in a haze of wrongheaded bitterness vows to block the Secretary of State nominee, the current UN Ambassador, Susan Rice, calling her “not too bright” (this, from the man who tapped dunderhead Sarah Palin for vice president); Bill O’Reilly says people voted for Obama “because they want ‘stuff'” (royt… and the super-wealthy don’t want stuff, like NASCAR teams and private planes and small islands); Paul Ryan continues to delude himself that his policies are popular – the policies the American peope just voted against; the Republican party, headed by Turtle McConnell and Babycry Boehner continue to promote their failed policies as if nothing just happened on November 6; Mitt Romney rears his square head for one parting misfire that blows away any credibility he might have salvaged had he simply exited stage right after his hastily-penned generic concession speech with the thousand-yard stare, saying Obama won because he offered “financial gifts” to voters, his cognitive dissonance not allowing him to admit he himself was offering his billionaire pals the greatest gift of all – not just tax breaks, loopholes and deregulation, but the gift of himself as the puppet-in-chief whose well-greased rectum they could all shove their hands up and woik him like a ten-dollar whore.

END