Rear End Window.

Alfred Hitchcock’s REAR WINDOW for Teen Models.

Shia LeBeouf spends the first half of DISTURBIA stuttering his way into the panties of the girl next door; the second half, stuttering his way out of the clutches of a serial killer.

Doing time on house arrest, Kale (LeBeouf) eventually turns his bored, binocular perving on the suburban neighborhood to the new hot neighbor (Sarah Roemer), then notices his other neighbor (David Morse) is behaving suspiciously like a character in a suspense thriller.

Playing spaz buddies for all they’re worth, Kale and Ronnie (Aaron Yoo, who looks like he’s on break from a Tommy Hilfiger shoot) stake out the creepy dude (while perving on the hot chick during breaks).

One Meet Cute later, Hot Chick teams with Dweeb and Spaz to unravel the dark secrets of the Creepy Guy Next Door.

Carrie-Anne Moss does a turn as Shia’s MILF, while David Morse is, as always, brilliant. An opening car crash scene is worth the price of… well, at least a Tommy Hilfiger long-sleeve shirt.

Watch it with binoculars for maximum Teen Model effect.

END