Driving Mister Moron.

DUDE, WHERE’S MY CAR? is to Ashton Kutcher what BILL AND TED’S EXCELLENT ADVENTURE is to Keanu Reeves – an inauspicious, downright idiotic introduction to the filmic world before taking over said world. (Kutcher’s character name is even phonetically like Theodore Logan Esquire – Jesse Montgomery III.)

Numbnut Jesse (Kutcher) wakes after a drunken night with his duderific pothead friend, Chester (Seann William Scott, back when he couldn’t HELP but make that stupid face), and realizes his car is not parked outside, which precipitates the time-honored line from him, “Dude, where’s my car?” To which Chester replies, “Dude, where’s your car?” To which Jesse replies, “Dude, where’s my car?” To which Chester replies, “Dude, where’s your car?” There’s much more. But I have more important things to do, like slash my wrists.

Quest to find car ensues. To win back their girlfriends (Jennifer Garner, young but still ugly, and Marla Sokoloff) the two dopes dive headlong into teen comedy staples – jocks, hot babes, transvestites and strippers, including sexy female extra-terrestrials and crackpot cultists (tautology!) led by Hal Sparks.

In no way a classic comedy – except in the cult sense when Ashton Kutcher inexplicably wins an Academy Award in the deep future – but so doggedly asinine you will find yourself laughing despite your functioning brain.

END