Poffy The Cucumber


Invasion of the Puerile People Eaters.

Not again! Aliens invade Los Angeles! And this time – they’re not Mexican.

Hey, isn’t that the guy from SCRUBS? Donald Faison is a nuveau-riche movie star who sends for his best buds Eric Balfour to celebrate the spoils of fame – booze, babes and boats. The ride ends after just one par-TAY, as gigantic extraterrestrial craft arrive and start levitating humans into them, while shining pretty blue lights on everyone. (Where’s Aaron Eckhart when we need him?) Cue Running and Screaming.

So cute how the writers tried to put backstories on these insipid people. As well as the two buddies, there’s Brittany Daniel and her hardbody, Scottie Thompson as Balfour’s pregnant girlfriend, Crystal Reed as Faison’s affair, and David Zayas as the Mexican concierge who isn’t an alien.

After the writers submitted their four-page script of lame action movie dialogue, effects supervisors-turned-directors Colin and Greg Strause (ALIENS VERSUS PREDATOR: REQUIEM) allocate the rest of their budget to loading up their derivative, boring movie with ideas stolen from THE MATRIX, CLOVERFIELD, WAR OF THE WORLDS, INDEPENDENCE DAY, et al, then submitted it to the brainless, gutless thugs who call themselves movie executives and distributors.

Then a few thousand unfortunate people paid to see it. Thanks to allocating a load of budget to the ad campaign.

The CGI is gloriously realistic – the best “gag” being the fighter plane that tumbles over our heroes in slomo to crash into a giant alien – but cannot save the movie from being uninvolving and pointless. A last-minute development introduces the one good idea of the film – the brain-eating aliens get infiltrated by one strong human brain – and then the movie ends.

Bikini line trumps sky line every time!

Y’know, all the special effects in the world don’t match one shot of Brittany Daniel in a bikini – and we only see that but once. What a waste of allocation of budget.


Skyline_titleSKYLINE (Nov 2010) | PG-13
Director: Colin Strause, Greg Strause.
Writer: Joshua Cordes, Liam O’Donnell.
Starring: Eric Balfour, Scottie Thompson, Brittany Daniel, Crystal Reed, Neil Hopkins, David Zayas, Donald Faison, Robin Gammell.
Word Count: 300      No. 742
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