SAILOR BEWARE

Poffy The Cucumber

Kissed Off. Probably the stoopidest Dean Martin and Jerry Lewis musical-comedy, SAILOR BEWARE is about two pals enlisting in the Navy and getting involved in a kissing contest that somehow gives one of them the reputation of a Lothario – even though he is allergic to kissing women. Then it ends before it gets mistaken for a movie. After an … Read More

JUMPING JACKS

Poffy The Cucumber

Jumping to Contusions. JUMPING JACKS marks the third time Martin and Lewis have been in the military. Army, Navy, now Paratroopers. Through an identity mixup, civilian Hap Smith (Jerry Lewis) finds himself in the paratroopers with his old nightclub partner, private Chick Allen (Dean Martin); though Chick tries to protect Hap from the authorities and discovery, he finds that Hap … Read More

INVASION U.S.A.

Poffy The Cucumber

Cold War Mongering. INVASION U.S.A. is made for one purpose. The government will tell you it’s to promote the draft, but the draft is only a euphemism for domestic terrorism. What else would you call spreading fear through media; terrorizing the populace into bowing Head Down Ass Up to the American government, or their lives would be ended by Russians? … Read More

HIGH NOON

Poffy The Cucumber

Man-Tales of the Old West. HIGH NOON is about being a Man. Surrounded by wussies and pussies. Gary Cooper is Marshall Will Kane, well-loved lawman of a small Western town, marrying his petite blond Quaker bride (Grace Kelly). At his new wife’s behest, he is leaving his tin star behind for a life of rousing inventorying in a General Store. … Read More