King Dinosaur Dropping. Four gifted scientists travel to the planet Nova in a technologically advanced spaceship and discover a prehistoric world, coming face to face with a Tyrannosaurus rex… Nah, actually four ignorant doofuses, the Teen Models of their day, travel to an imaginary planet that the excitable narrator makes up on the spot, in a child’s idea of a … Read More
REVENGE OF THE CREATURE
Bad Moviemakers Strike Again. There’s not much “revenge” in REVENGE OF THE CREATURE, except maybe the filmmakers’ revenge on clear-thinking movie viewers. Scientists led by John Agar capture the CREATURE FROM THE BLACK LAGOON and bring him to civilization to “train” him. And kill him. Called the “Gill Man” by the tourists and sightseers that call themselves “scientists,” the creature … Read More
THE MAN WITH THE GOLDEN ARM
The Ham With The Golden Charm. Frank Sinatra an addict? So what’s new? Maybe the real life Sinatra wasn’t on heroin, as depicted in THE MAN WITH THE GOLDEN ARM, but he had his addictive vices. We all know them: booze, broads, bands. But then, everyone commits themselves to something. If you’re going to call commitment or heady enjoyment an … Read More
GODZILLA RAIDS AGAIN
Raiding Places. The Sequel Too Scared To Be Called A Sequel. It’s a pity that the most promulgated and available versions of these old movies are those versions doctored by racist pigs and venal corporations. This version of GODZILLA RAIDS AGAIN, the sequel to 1954’s GODZILLA, is the United States edit that was renamed GIGANTIS: THE FIRE MONSTER, with the … Read More
REBEL WITHOUT A CAUSE
A Giant in a midget’s movie. REBEL WITHOUT A CAUSE has become a national treasure due to its deceased star. I’m here to prove that the title itself is a misnomer and that the movie’s status has been conflated with its star’s talents; movie itself is dated, embarrassing, out-of-touch and very, very gay. And not in that fabulooouus way either. … Read More