HERCULES IN NEW YORK

Poffy The Cucumber

Fish Out Of Austria. Demi-god Hercules visits New York for a lark. And it’s extremely funny. If you’re seven. Before the world discovered his Herculean physique in the muscle-doc PUMPING IRON (1977), and long before his breakout role as an “actor” in CONAN THE BARBARIAN (1982), Austrian-born bodybuilder Arnold Schwarzenegger somehow convinced American agents, managers, casting agencies and filmmakers to … Read More

GAMERA VS. JIGER

Poffy The Cucumber

When children ran the Japanese military. We can pretty much guess the quality of this Japanese debacle as soon as the opening titles are accompanied by that cringeworthy “Gamera” theme song performed by schoolkids. (All I can think of are the MST3K lyrics, “Gam-e-ra is really neat / He is filled with turtle meat / We all love you Gam-eh-raaaaa!” … Read More

TORA! TORA! TORA!

Poffy The Cucumber

Rising Sun over Despising Sam. Next to Viet Nam, Pearl Harbor must be one of the most shameful failures in American military history. We can understand why the American meme has been twisted into “surprise attack by the Japanese”; otherwise, how was the vaunted United States war machine caught with its pants so low around its ankles? TORA! TORA! TORA! … Read More

KELLY’S HEROES

Poffy The Cucumber

From Zeroes to Heroes. World War II. A small troop of American soldiers surrounds the German-occupied French village of Claremont, closing in slowly over the rooftops and through the ruins. Thirty miles behind enemy lines, isolated from their own army, one Sherman tank their only armored support against three superior German Tiger tanks, they’re not here to fight a battle. … Read More