RUDY: THE RUDY GIULIANI STORY

Poffy The Cucumber

A Scene, a Policy, and 9/11. Rudy Giuliani – there’s only three things he mentions in a sentence: a noun, a verb and 9/11.” — Joe Biden, Democratic Candidate for President, 2008. In 2008, Joe Biden would aptly describe Rudy Giuliani’s tactics for his presidential candidacy. And this 2003 film, RUDY: THE RUDY GIULIANI STORY, does exactly the same: a … Read More

ZERO DARK THIRTY

Poffy The Cucumber

Zero Dork Skirty. Not exactly propaganda, not exactly lies, not exactly conspiracy theory. ZERO DARK THIRTY, the story about the American hunt for Osama bin Laden, is maybe a touch of all three… According to real life grunts, the title ZERO DARK THIRTY is bollocks. The military pronounce the “zero” as “oh”; and it doesn’t mean 12:30 a.m. (as the … Read More

UNTHINKABLE

Poffy The Cucumber

The punishing stupidity of punishing stupidity. Many ways to view the torture-driven thriller UNTHINKABLE (now remember we’re trying to be neutral thinkers, objectively assessing the twisted unsolvable issues of religion and politics, so no man-acclaimed institutions should be capitalized): To show they mean business, authorities torture a person threatening to murder thousands. A muslim plants three nuclear bombs in three … Read More

WHERE IN THE WORLD IS OSAMA BIN LADEN?

Poffy The Cucumber

War of the Worlds. First, he was nearly killed by clowns feeding him junk food (SUPER SIZE ME, 2004), now Morgan Spurlock, insurrectionist, free thinker, the man who caused a sea change in the fast food industry, is nearly killed by all those amerikan and arab clowns in the Middle East, committing to film the issue on every adult mind on … Read More

THE 9/11 COMMISSION REPORT

Poffy The Cucumber

History rewritten. And rewritten. And rewritten… We’ll never know The Truth about 9/11. And this shoddy movie proves it. I recently watched a YouTube report claiming there were no planes involved in the Twin Towers’ destruction; that all the news programs were supposedly provided with same-angle shots of the Towers from a mysterious source (probably the gubmint?), and in that … Read More

WORLD TRADE CENTER

Poffy The Cucumber

A Date With Density. The pitch: Two men get trapped in a mine shaft. Nothing happens. Then they get rescued. The end. The suits harrumph: where’s the drama? The screenwriter and her agent scramble: well, we flash back to generic good times with families and watch the trapped guys banally discuss heroism and loyalty and STARSKY AND HUTCH. The suits … Read More

FLIGHT 93

Poffy The Cucumber

Flight of Fancy. Note to director Peter Markle: if you’re going to create a tribute to nobodies who become somebodies due to an airline tragedy, if you’re going to grease the wheels of racism and jingoism with agitprop, if you’re hoping to effectively manipulate and exploit the charged emotions of a nation’s populace – don’t use a toy plane for … Read More

UNITED 93

Poffy The Cucumber

United They Fall. Oh, stop whining! UNITED 93 was bound to bring out the bitch in politically-gutless 2006 America: any issue that invokes the oh-so-hip splash-appellation “9-11” is like a hog call to every uninformed swine with two cents worth of a knee-jerk conspiracy theory. But beyond the whines of “too soon” and “disrespect” and “exploitation” is the sheer raw … Read More

FAHRENHEIT 9/11

Poffy The Cucumber

My Fellow Americans (er…kind of), One part of me wants to live the peaceable life, wallowing in my hobbit hole, unmindful of the B-29 Superfortresses amassing off the Normandy Coast, staring out at the stars and asserting that Clint Eastwood is the greatest example of Manhood in our century, whilst another side of me wants to shake the shoulders and … Read More