GODZILLA

Poffy The Cucumber

Tampering in Godz domain… Giant monster terrorizes Tokyo. From the depths of hell it came, roaring, spitting fire, destroying civilization; black of heart and devoid of empathy. And it probably had a really small brain too. It was called – The United States of America… People think they know Godzilla. Even you think you know Godzilla. No, you don’t. That … Read More

GODZILLA VS. MONSTER ZERO

Poffy The Cucumber

The Shark Jumpty Dance. GODZILLA VS. MONSTER ZERO is a perfect exemplar of why Godzilla movies are so bad. And – I know what you’re thinking – it’s NOT because of the guys in the rubber suits. It’s because even within the world of the movie – Nothing. Makes. Sense. This movie – like so many other “Godzilla movies” of … Read More

GODZILLA: KING OF THE MONSTERS

Poffy The Cucumber

Trying to fix something that ain’t broke – and breaking it. No, it’s NOT just the same movie re-edited. I speak for all cucumber reviewers when I contend – nay, insist – that the 1956 American re-edit of GODZILLA (1954), re-titled GODZILLA: KING OF THE MONSTERS, cannot, must not and should NEVER be reviewed with the original, even as a … Read More

GODZILLA VS. THE SEA MONSTER

Poffy The Cucumber

Godzilla as Destroyer, Godzilla as Savior, Godzilla as afterthought. Guerilla military installation on island, guarded by gigantic lobster, developing nuclear bomb, using slaves kidnapped from Mothra’s village; teens and a master thief shipwrecked, free the slaves, giant bird attack, lightning storm, nuclear explosions. Uh, and Godzilla. A Godzilla movie with an actual story! GODZILLA VS. THE SEA MONSTER boasts the … Read More

GODZILLA VS. MOTHRA

Poffy The Cucumber

Godzilla’s Mothman Chronicles. The laugh-out-loud moment in GODZILLA VS. MOTHRA: Mothra uses his tiny little mothy feet to grab Godzilla’s tail and fly backwards, dragging Godzilla backwards along the ground, while Godzilla claws for purchase. The strength of this fluffy Lepidopteran! It’s another fine day in Tokyo, meaning it’s soon going to be raining daikaiju. (Thank you Toho Company!) A … Read More