CRANK

Poffy The Cucumber

Crank-y. Super stylish. Super amped. Super shallow. Still, any movie that opens with Quiet Riot’s Bang Your Head scarring the soundtrack can’t be all that bad. And writer-directors Mark Neveldine’s and Brian Taylor’s CRANK isn’t all that bad. It isn’t all that good either. A hitman, Chev Chelios (Jason Statham), has been injected with The Beijing Cocktail, a substance that … Read More

THE BUTTERFLY EFFECT

Poffy The Cucumber

The Teen Model Effect. As far as I can gather from THE BUTTERFLY EFFECT’s totally illogical storyline, a teen model time travels backwards to rectify sins of the past so that in the “present” he can hook up with another teen model. Noble? No. Hot? Definitely. The Teen Model Effect: When a teen model flaps his arms in China, it … Read More