SALT

Poffy The Cucumber

DIE HARD With A Vagina. A bunch of guys chase after Angelina Jolie. So what’s new? Opening scenes of SALT show a sexy, bloodied blonde (Angelina Jolie) being dragged from a North Korean prison cell and tortured; she’s waterboarded, beaten, punched, screamed at; she’s slim, busty and naked – except for her exquisite frilly white lace bra and panties. You … Read More

FREQUENCY

Poffy The Cucumber

Radio Da Da. And we thought BACK TO THE FUTURE covered all the angles of going back in time to change the present! Jim Caviezel is Jesus and Dennis Quaid his Heavenly Father, who speaks to him through a magical ham radio. Actually, Caviezel is a New York cop, his father a fireman who lost his life years ago. A … Read More

FANTASTIC FOUR: RISE OF THE SILVER SURFER

Poffy The Cucumber

More FOUR Bore. There’s something about the Fantastic Four that’s not all that fantastic: it’s called acting.Had to spin Joe Satriani’s Surfing with the Alien before spanking this review – ‘twas the only way I was gonna cyber-charge the cells after watching the soporific, yet tenuously linked FANTASTIC FOUR: RISE OF THE SILVER SURFER. As some of you 80s steel-belted … Read More