LICENSE TO KILL

Poffy The Cucumber

Revenge is best served Bond… James Bond goes rogue, on a vendetta to destroy the man who tried to kill his best friend. LICENSE TO KILL cold opens with a gag copied by Christopher Nolan himself in THE DARK KNIGHT RISES (2012)! On the fly, James Bond hooks a biplane’s tail to a helicopter to drag it into custody, nose-down … Read More

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STAR TREK: INSURRECTION

Poffy The Cucumber

Insert Erection! The dancing! The singing! The bearded guy in the bathtub! Are we on a star trek or a pride parade?! STAR TREK: INSURRECTION is another example of an excellent idea – and I’m not being sarcastic! – ruined by small screen sensibilities and mediocre production values. The very first TREK movie, STAR TREK: THE MOTION PICTURE (1979), also … Read More

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KISS MEETS THE PHANTOM OF THE PARK

Poffy The Cucumber

From Superheroes to Superzeroes. Rock band KISS (Gene Simmons, Paul Stanley, Ace Frehley, and Peter Criss) valiantly attempt to act in their first feature film, and I think that’s why people call this a horror movie. KISS MEETS THE PHANTOM OF THE PARK is such an abysmal TV movie that KISS themselves forbad anyone in their presence to mention it. … Read More

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