MY BRILLIANT CAREER

Poffy The Cucumber

An old fashioned tale of a new fashioned woman. Near the turn of that last century (1897), a young girl from a poverty-stricken family in the Australian outback dreams of being a writer, against the wishes of her family, and against the inculcation of a society that believed every woman should be aimed toward marriage-sans-career because “Marriage gives us respectability, dear” … Read More

CROCODILE DUNDEE IN LOS ANGELES

Poffy The Cucumber

Jumping the croc. After cringing through every minute of CROCODILE DUNDEE IN LOS ANGELES, I’d like to, uh, not be Australian any more, please. After Steve Irwin redefined the term Crocodile Hunter to mean conservationist and all-round noyce goy, Paul Hogan’s seedy crocodile poacher character became irrelevant. Yet CROCODILE DUNDEE IN LOS ANGELES drags its feet to the billabong once more … Read More

THE PROPOSITION

Poffy The Cucumber

Brutal, Bloody, Beautiful. In 1800’s Australia, somewhere in the rugged skeleton colonies of New South Wales, police trooper Captain Stanley (Ray Winstone) puts this proposition to Charlie Burns (Guy Pearce, greasier and grimier than he was in THE HARD WORD, 2002 – if that’s even possible): Kill your older brother to save your younger from the noose. THE PROPOSITION is … Read More

AUSTRALIA

Poffy The Cucumber

Epic Saddlebag Superhero. Being a son of Australia, this movie was calling to my blood. I had to watch it, right? I had to know it, feel it, taste it. And report back on whether it hides behind the faux-Aussie Outback Steakhouse jive, or whether it truly captures the wild frontier Dreamtime spirit of Downunda; the vast ochre countryscapes, the … Read More

CROCODILE HUNTER: COLLISION COURSE

Poffy The Cucumber

Madman Across the Water. Some people say Steve Irwin’s larrikin antics and gregarious personality are only an act. Watch this film: it’s obvious he can’t act. Steve Irwin, dangerman star of the small screen in his CROCODILE HUNTER DIARIES, CROC FILES and eponymous CROCODILE HUNTER series (you see a naming trend here?), rockets his larger-than-strife persona to the big screen … Read More

GALLIPOLI

Poffy The Cucumber

Military Unintelligence. Peter Weir’s stirring anti-war epic, GALLIPOLI, has a heart as large as Western Australia, a sweep as wide as its blue-chiseled skies and – Mel Gibson’s naked 24-year-old bottom. GALLIPOLI is not about Gallipoli. The botched Australian and New Zealand Armed Corp (ANZAC) landing at that Turkish beach in 1915 is merely the backdrop to Weir’s wondrous character … Read More

CROCODILE DUNDEE II

Poffy The Cucumber

A Crock of Croc. The joke’s wearing a bit thin. Whereas CROCODILE DUNDEE introduced us to the strapping, vital, yet ingenuous Mick Dundee (Paul Hogan), CROCODILE DUNDEE II takes all that was good about the original and, like most sequels, ignores it. Instead – SCARFACE THE TV SHOW, with Hechter Ubarry as Rico (think “ball-less Tony Montana”) and Juan Fernandez … Read More

CROCODILE DUNDEE

Poffy The Cucumber

From Barbecued Shrimps to New York Pimps and Boyfriend Wimps. Growing up in Australia, I knew of Paul Hogan since the mid ’70s. A regular face on Australian TV with his reasonably funny PAUL HOGAN SHOW, he was the paragon of the ocker Everyman. (“Ocker” is an uncultivated Australian; one of low social caste, revealed through their broad accent and … Read More