BARRY

Poffy The Cucumber

Waking from daddy daydreams. Young Obama! BARRY shows us the future 44th president of the United States, Barack Obama, landing in New York as a hopeful college student in search of himself. And some ill manky-g. This remarkable leader, this orator, this first “black” president, will surely have countless other biographies in store, not least for dragging America out of … Read More

ELECTION OF DONALD TRUMP | The Death Of America: November 8th, 2016

Jon Dunmore

America: The Country Formerly Known as The Land of the Free. here are many conclusions we can derive from the election of Donald Trump as president of the United States in 2016.   It is conclusive proof that lying is the right way to win the presidency. It is proof that you don’t have to have a ground game to … Read More

SOUTHSIDE WITH YOU

Poffy The Cucumber

Obama batting Smoove. Barack Obama gets to first base! SOUTHSIDE WITH YOU details the birth of Barack Hussein Obama in Kenya, and how his Nazi mother and Black Panther father conspired with the hospital into forging an American birth certificate, so that their son could infiltrate the presidency and destroy the United States with his muslim sharia ways…  Okay, now … Read More

2016: OBAMA’S AMERICA

Poffy The Cucumber

Fooling the Fools again. Who we foolin’ here? All one needs to glean a perspective on this documentary’s Obama Derangement Syndrome (ODS) is to read the opening lines of any of its “sensible” “unbiased” “objective” reviews; all the waterheads who feel the need to proclaim, “First off I want to say that I based this documentary on the content rather … Read More

MITT

Poffy The Cucumber

On Planet Mitt, no one can hear you fake-laugh… Not everybody is comfortable with the idea that politics is a guilty addiction. But it is. They are addicts, and they are guilty and they do lie and cheat and steal – like all junkies. And when they get in a frenzy, they will sacrifice anything and everybody to feed their … Read More

GAME CHANGE

Poffy The Cucumber

The Rise and Fall of Stupid. The news is no longer meant to be important. It’s just entertainment. — Steve Schmidt, McCain-Palin senior advisor. I don’t think much of Julianne Moore as an actress. And I despise Sarah Palin as a politician and human being. But Julianne Moore playing Sarah Palin? Priceless! In the HBO movie, GAME CHANGE, Moore gives … Read More

ZERO DARK THIRTY

Poffy The Cucumber

Zero Dork Skirty. Not exactly propaganda, not exactly lies, not exactly conspiracy theory. ZERO DARK THIRTY, the story about the American hunt for Osama bin Laden, is maybe a touch of all three… According to real life grunts, the title ZERO DARK THIRTY is bollocks. The military pronounce the “zero” as “oh”; and it doesn’t mean 12:30 a.m. (as the … Read More

DESERVED DAMAGE-JOY | Mitt Romney’s Thanksgiving Present to the United States – Losing.

Jon Dunmore

e have so much to be thankful for this 2012 Thanksgiving Season. Mitt Romney lost. America, GIVE THANKS Mitt Romney won’t be appointing any Republican judges to the Supreme Court to overturn Roe v. Wade. Barack Obama won. And America laughed. At Mitt Romney. Not because America was mean-spirited and petty, but because Mitt Romney pretzeled himself into such a … Read More

WITCHFYNDER GENERAL DEFROCKED | The Resignation of David Petraeus and the Humiliation of the CIA.

Jon Dunmore

avid Petraeus, though resigning as CIA Director under inauspicious circumstances, is being heralded as a warrior poet, a god-king, a “legend” who “saved the war in Iraq,” “one of the outstanding generals of his day”; President Obama effused that Petraeus “served with intellectual rigor, dedication and patriotism.” But David Petraeus is a piece of shit. Why? It’s not because he … Read More

THE 99 PERCENT

Poffy The Cucumber

When Lambs Become Lions. There’s an old proverb attributed to the Chinese, “May you live in interesting times.” It’s not a blessing, it’s a curse. Yet there’s a certain “blessing” to being privy to these historical times: I have lived to see the event that exacerbated America’s racism – 9/11; the man who changed the way the world communicated – … Read More

TRANSFORMERS: DARK OF THE MOON

Poffy The Cucumber

Big things breaking bigger things. I’m sure the budget of TRANSFORMERS: DARK OF THE MOON could wipe out Liberia’s deficit, so why can’t they afford passable look-alikes for Kennedy and Obama? And while they’re at it, how about a more adept graphic designer, so that when we see a picture of Obama and LeBeouf together, it DOESN’T look Photoshopped?! Director … Read More

UNTHINKABLE

Poffy The Cucumber

The punishing stupidity of punishing stupidity. Many ways to view the torture-driven thriller UNTHINKABLE (now remember we’re trying to be neutral thinkers, objectively assessing the twisted unsolvable issues of religion and politics, so no man-acclaimed institutions should be capitalized): To show they mean business, authorities torture a person threatening to murder thousands. A muslim plants three nuclear bombs in three … Read More

WHERE IN THE WORLD IS OSAMA BIN LADEN?

Poffy The Cucumber

War of the Worlds. First, he was nearly killed by clowns feeding him junk food (SUPER SIZE ME, 2004), now Morgan Spurlock, insurrectionist, free thinker, the man who caused a sea change in the fast food industry, is nearly killed by all those amerikan and arab clowns in the Middle East, committing to film the issue on every adult mind on … Read More

RELIGULOUS

Poffy The Cucumber

Maher Messiah. Movies should make you think; at the very least, entertain. Ironically, that’s why RELIGULOUS fails. We who already “think” have weighed the evidence and know the truth about the lie of religion (therefore, this movie is not making us think any more than we already do – and as “entertainment,” it’s frustrating), whereas those who don’t think – … Read More

TERRORIST IS THE NEW NIGGER | How The Rednecks stay one step ahead of us.

Jon Dunmore

JOHN MCCAIN’S STORY SO FAR: First the Republican nominee for president assured us that the “fundamentals of the economy were strong.” On seeing coffee flying out of everyone’s noses at that assertion, he changed his mind. Then the suggestion was to fire the Chairman of the SEC. Informed that a president isn’t allowed to fire a Chairman of the SEC, … Read More