JUSTICE LEAGUE

Poffy The Cucumber

The League of Extraordinary Superpeeps. Nobody should come to the movies unless he believes in heroes. — John Wayne. An interstellar villain tries to destroy Earth, but is vanquished with punching and computer jargon, by a fresh clique of supers called the JUSTICE LEAGUE. Batman (grizzled Ben Affleck) recruits The Aquaman (warrior Jason Momoa), and Barry Allen not-yet-called The Flash … Read More

BATMAN AND ROBIN 1949

Poffy The Cucumber

Thrills! Mystery! Man-Panty! Batman Returns! For the first time. Six years after Columbia Pictures’ success with THE BATMAN (1943), they release a sequel, another serial of 15 chapters called BATMAN AND ROBIN. And all cloth cosplay breaks loose. Robert Lowery plays Batman/Bruce Wayne (looking like Victor Mature), and Johnny Duncan plays Robin/Dick Grayson (and we can’t quite figure whether he … Read More

THE BATMAN

Poffy The Cucumber

The Paunch Knight. The very first Movie Batman! After Bob Kane created the name of The Batman in 1939 and Bill Finger created all the elements that would become Batman canon (from the costume to the Batmobile), THE BATMAN follows the caped crusader in a 15-part serial released just four years into the character’s comicbook adventures. No wonder Batman didn’t … Read More

GOTHAM

Poffy The Cucumber

The Batmanless Years. GOTHAM: It’s the city of the Batman. Before the Batman. And that’s the Damoclean ambiguity hanging over the bat-eared head of this television series. We all “know” this city of sin; we all “know” who turns up to clean everyone’s clock; we all “know” this spunk-filled ‘burg is holding its breath for a dark savior – but … Read More

BATMAN: THE MOVIE

Poffy The Cucumber

Holy jumble! Where’s the hope of the world now?! The Bat. The Robin. The Cheese. BATMAN: THE MOVIE, the big screen fintuzula of the mid-60s fruitopia TV series. The dark avenger of the night, The Batman, played by the greatest actor of his generation, Adam West. Batman’s life partner squeeze peach Robin played by that altar boy fantasy Burt Ward. … Read More

THE DARK KNIGHT RISES

Poffy The Cucumber

Darkest Knight. 60 years ago writer-director Christopher Nolan would have been one of the premier exponents of film noir. Conceptually and cinematically, his DARK KNIGHT trilogy is one of the most somber excursions into dual personality crises, moral relativism, vigilantism and nihilism. And Batman would have been Humphrey Bogart. “Here’s lookin’ at you, Gotham…” Just as dour as Bogart, Christian … Read More

BATMAN RETURNS

Poffy The Cucumber

The Bat, The Cat and The Fat. Something happened between BATMAN and BATMAN RETURNS. The eighties had ended, George H.W. Bush ended his one-term presidency, CGI was invented, and director Tim Burton was so depressed about all these things that the tears in his eyes must’ve clouded his Dark Knight vision. Crooked businessman Max Shreck makes an underground freak, The … Read More

BATMAN FOREVER

Poffy The Cucumber

From Dark Knight to Boogie Knight. After Tim Burton gave us the brooding BATMAN (1989) and the dark-yet-kinda-silly BATMAN RETURNS, he relinquished the director’s chair to Joel Schumacher, who promptly made Batman fruitier than Adam West. In BATMAN FOREVER, the third installment of the modern Batman legacy, Val Kilmer is the fruit bat whom we cannot be sure is hero … Read More

THE DARK KNIGHT

Poffy The Cucumber

Do not go gentle into that good knight… Good men, the last wave by, crying how bright Their frail deeds might have danced in a green bay, Rage, rage against the dying of the light. – Dylan Thomas If Batman is the untamed world, The Joker is the unbalanced world. THE DARK KNIGHT tells us humanity lives somewhere in between. … Read More

BATMAN

Poffy The Cucumber

Part Noir, Part Comicbook, All Knight. Who knew MR. MOM could make such an awe-inspiring, vigilante crimefighter? With gadgets formulated from watching Martha Stewart, a cape hewn from a reconditioned wooby and an unsurpassed knowledge of daytime soaps, Michael Keaton squeezed his distinctive lip structure into that sacred cowl and surprised everyone to become the Sean Connery of Batmen. Arguably … Read More

BATMAN VERSUS BATMAN | Keaton or Bale? Blow by Blow.

Jon Dunmore

The Alter-Ego The Batman The Butler The Car The Cave The Chick The Chin The City The Commissioner The Costume The Logo The Music The Opening The Statement The Villain   THE COSTUME Both Keaton’s and Bale’s costumes have been radically altered from the Giordano/Aparo halcyon days of the 70s comicbooks. The comicbook costume was gray with dark blue cape … Read More

BATMAN AND ROBIN

Poffy The Cucumber

The Battiest of them all. Why does George Clooney waggle his head like that when he talks?… And how did he infiltrate Wayne Manor’s impenetrable security system – Alfred Pennyworth (Michael Gough) – to become the next Batman? I suppose Alfred – in seeing no less than three Batmen pass through his hallowed halls (Keaton, Kilmer, Clooney), simply puts it … Read More

BATMAN BEGINS

Poffy The Cucumber

Dark Knight Reconstructionist Theory. Droves of bats against an ocher sunset, teasing out the infamous Bat Logo on the sky with their swarming bodies; the first five seconds of BATMAN BEGINS are scintillating. Then it just keeps getting better. If there is bedrock truth in the axiom, “If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it,” then surely the inverse is also … Read More