DYLAN DOG: DEAD OF NIGHT

Poffy The Cucumber

Doggy doo. Brandon Routh is soooo Christopher Reeve. He wasn’t this much Christopher Reeve even when he was Superman. You would think that anyone who hired Reeve – I mean, Routh – post-SUPERMAN RETURNS (after which he was unfairly stripped of the cape), would cast him as a character as far from the Man of Steel as possible, but in … Read More

UNTHINKABLE

Poffy The Cucumber

The punishing stupidity of punishing stupidity. Many ways to view the torture-driven thriller UNTHINKABLE (now remember we’re trying to be neutral thinkers, objectively assessing the twisted unsolvable issues of religion and politics, so no man-acclaimed institutions should be capitalized): To show they mean business, authorities torture a person threatening to murder thousands. A muslim plants three nuclear bombs in three … Read More

ZACK AND MIRI MAKE A PORNO

Poffy The Cucumber

Sweet and Sour Hanky Skanky. “Sweet” might not be the first word that comes to mind when thinking of a movie with the word “Porno” in the title – but that’s exactly what this movie is: a heartfelt romantic comedy. Oh God! I almost vomited – I never thought I’d see the words “heartfelt romantic comedy” typed onto my sacred … Read More

SUPERMAN RETURNS

Poffy The Cucumber

Ol’ Blue Eyes Is Back. So much strength, so little underpant. Superman is back. With his underpants hiked low enough to make George Reeves blush the color of cape. In SUPERMAN RETURNS, the blue-clad avenger sports a decidedly European bikini, giving a low-slung nod to the thong-exposed sluts we call modern teenagers. And the color of cape is no longer … Read More