JOHN WICK: CHAPTER 2

Poffy The Cucumber

Baba Yaga Reloaded. Keanu Reeves once again finds himself the linchpin of a career-defining movie series. He’s the laconic, eponymous anti-hero in JOHN WICK: CHAPTER TWO, a movie whose story is built around its innovative combat scenes. In this sequel to 2014’s JOHN WICK, Wick must fulfill an obligation to a colleague, or risk never being able to leave his … Read More

JOHN WICK

Poffy The Cucumber

Baba Yaga’s Excellent Adventure. Keanu Reeves hasn’t had to act this little since he was Klaatu. Keanu is retired legendary hitman JOHN WICK, who informally comes out of retirement for revenge on the men who killed his puppy – the last gift from his dead wife. (I’m not an animal person, but I gotta admit – that is one cutie … Read More

BATTLE LOS ANGELES

Poffy The Cucumber

Who knew battle could be so boring? Extraterrestrial aliens land in Los Angeles and humans battle them. That’s why it’s called BATTLE LOS ANGELES. Creative. Filled brim to barrel bottom with explosions, running, army jargon, and characters we care about just slightly more than the assholes on JERSEY SHORE. It’s as if SAVING PRIVATE RYAN were directed by someone with … Read More

I, ROBOT

Poffy The Cucumber

I, Gamebot. I, Human, even whilst viewing the first trailers of I, ROBOT, knew that They, 20th Century Fox, were destined to make Film, Botch-up. Sure enough, this movie bytes! Pounding home the sordid fact that Big Studios – as cookie-cutter idioms unto themselves – must morph any greed-driven, blockbuster-bent story from cerebral concept to popcorn-glutton whiz-bangery, I, ROBOT is … Read More

THE SUM OF ALL FEARS

Poffy The Cucumber

The Dumb of All Fears. Not since Marky Mark replaced Charlton Heston in Tim Burton’s remarkable film about ape-poo, has there been such an inadequate, impotent re-imagining of a well-known filmic character. In THE SUM OF ALL FEARS, Jack Ryan, CIA gadfly, has morphed from Alec Baldwin’s Runway-Model Ryan (equivalent to Roger Moore’s Bond), to Harrison Ford’s Real Man Ryan … Read More