ROCKY IV

Poffy The Cucumber

The Gangbanger that became a Patriot. ROCKY IV is a montage of montages. And some boxing. Drago cometh. Montage. Drago breaketh Apollo. Montage. Rocky cryeth. Montage. Rocky traineth in snow. Montage. Rocky fighteth. For America! Montage. Rocky winneth. Hooray! Rocky brings democracy to Russia! Montage. Russian soldier-turned-boxer Ivan Drago (Dolph Lundgren) is brought to the United States by politicians from … Read More

ROCKY III

Poffy The Cucumber

The Pussy that became a Gangbanger. I pity the fool that takes ROCKY III seriously. ROCKY III is the STAR TREK IV of Rocky Movies. The most glitz and glam-blammo, with a story so basic your dog could have written it; the most color and muscles and shouting – and definitely the most fun! Rocky Balboa (Sylvester Stallone) must defend … Read More

ROCKY II

Poffy The Cucumber

The Stallion that became a Pussy. The giant title floats across screen – ROCKY II –and we are assaulted with the visual of two men beating each other to death. Blood, eyes swollen shut, back-sweat and bruising, bone pounded, ears cauliflowered, cutting an eye open, nose broken – what kind of christian crucifixion torture-porn am I looking at? Oh, it’s … Read More

ROCKY

Poffy The Cucumber

The Underdog that became a Stallion. That epic fanfare, a giant name floats across screen – ROCKY. Movie opens in elation, as we fly with Bill Conti’s soon-to-be-immortal theme, Gonna Fly Now, and then suddenly comes crashing to Earth– — a small-time boxing match, a pudgy, young and decidedly graceless boxer belts it out with a bigger truck of a … Read More