THE LAST SHARKNADO: IT’S ABOUT TIME

Poffy The Cucumber

Shark Fin Stupe. THE LAST SHARKNADO: IT’S ABOUT TIME is about the first sharknado, and how Fin the shark hunter travels back to prehistoric times to stop it, thereby negating all further sharknadoes and saving the planet from having to witness the bombastic mindlessness of any SHARKNADO movies. He fails. Because obviously this is the sixth SHARKNADO shit sandwich. And … Read More

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SHARKNADO 5: GLOBAL SWARMING

Poffy The Cucumber

Shit-nado. SHARKNADO rained sharks on Los Angeles; SHARKNADO 2 rained sharks on New York; SHARKNADO 3 swamped the White House reign; SHARKNADO 4 made it rain in Las Vegas… and SHARKNADO 5 shits all over the world. Literally and figuratively. SHARKNADO 5 finds shark-slayer Fin (Ian Ziering) and his cyborg wife April (Tara Reid), chasing down a sharknado that has … Read More

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SHARKNADO 3: OH HELL NO!

Poffy The Cucumber

Trumpeting Incompetence. When David Hasselhoff is the best actor in your movie, you’ve got a real fucken problem. Clearly preempting a suitable title for any review, SHARKNADO 3: OH HELL NO! takes all that is good about movie-making and science and acting, and shit-squirts it up against the wall like dysentery. Director Anthony C. Ferrante and writer Thunder Levin got … Read More

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SHARKNADO

Poffy The Cucumber

Shark Sandwich. Recall the wisdom of the reviewer who wrote the two-word summation of Spinal Tap’s album, Shark Sandwich: “Shit sandwich.” The human race is not worth saving. I’m sure of that now. Not just because SHARKNADO was made in the first place – a non-budget TV movie on the SyFy Channel about sharks being swept up in a tornado … Read More

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